Hundred
by tiara733
Summary: Post 2x18 Boom! Due to the circumstances, Kate moves into Rick's apartment and they begin a friends with benefits relationship.
1. Come Home

**Chapter 1**

"_I don't have a home."_

"_Yes you do. It's a secured building with an extra bedroom and people who care about you."_

"_Thank you Castle, but I couldn't."_

"_You can and you will."_

As she looked at his serious face, Kate could see the genuine concern etched in Rick's face and the sincerity in his eyes. She didn't like the idea of them living together in such close quarters, but what other options did she have? Her apartment was in ashes, along with all of her belongings. She had no other choice than to acquiesce to his demand.

_Ugh, we'll be seeing each other literally 24/7. I already see enough of him at the precinct and while he's following me around for his "research." _She mentally groaned to herself during the drive to his apartment. _I guess it won't be too bad. He's doing me a big favor by letting me stay with him. And his place is pretty big, _she rationalized. _At least it won't be lonely in his apartment. With him, Alexis, and Martha dropping by frequently, it may actually feel like a home,_ she thought with a small smile.

Kate didn't realize how tired she actually was until she stepped into Rick's cozy and inviting apartment. Cases like these tended to do this to her—send her on an adrenaline-fueled frenzy to catch the killer, even kicking her into overdrive for days on end if need be. This particular case had her on edge even more than usual, as she was the object of the psycho's obsession. As a cumulating result of days without sleep, Kate was both physically and mentally exhausted, and wanted nothing more than a hot bath and a good night's sleep.

"Umm, Kate…" Rick started to explain something when he noticed suitcases and boxes near the door.

"Not now Castle," Kate interrupted. "Don't. Please? I just really need a warm bath and some sleep."

"Sure. You know where my bathroom is. Towels are in the closet. Call me if you need anything else." He said gently, aware of her fatigued state.

"Thank you," she said in a whisper-like tone, and headed to his bathroom.

Stripped of her worn clothes, Kate stepped into the shower, allowing the water to cascade over her body and the warmth to soothe her muscles. She closed her eyes and just let herself unwind. Despite her need to constantly be working on cases, she knew that some time off would do her good, both mentally and physically. The water droplets raining down from the shower head relaxed her overly tensed muscles, and she felt safe for the first time in days. She felt the stress trickle from her, streaming into the drain along with the water.

Kate turned the shower knob to stop the water and grabbed the towel she set aside. As she was drying herself, she ran into a dilemma. She had no clean clothes to wear. _Crap_,she thought. _What am I going to wear?_

She wrapped herself in the towel and sought to find Rick's clothes. Just as she opened the bathroom door, Rick stood there holding a bundle of garments, as if he was about to knock.

"I was just checking if you were done…" he said.

"Oh, yeah. I am. But, um… I don't have anything to wear," she said, feeling bashful clothed only by a towel in front of him.

"I brought clothes for you." He motioned to the garments cradled in his other hand. "These are some of my clothes. I tried to find something small that could fit you better… and you're either going to have to borrow my boxers or go commando…"

"Uh, thanks." Kate said, taking the clothes and turning back into the bathroom to get dressed.

She put on her own bra and slipped into his boxers along with a very loose-fitting red t-shirt he gave her. Doing so, she took a deep breath and caught a whiff of his scent from the shirt, a smell she had grown to like over the past year. The top of the shirt hung well below a modest level, so Kate had to let it hang off one shoulder. Although it didn't fit, she was comfortable, and she hugged herself and took another deep breath to inhale his scent.

Feeling refreshed but still weary, Kate exited the bathroom to inquire about sleeping arrangements.

"You have an extra bedroom for me to stay in?" She asked, referring to his earlier statement.

"Umm… about that. Apparently, things fell through with Chet, and Martha decided not to move out." Rick said meekly.

"So where can I sleep?" Kate questioned.

"I know you're really tired, and there are no other rooms, so you can have my bed for tonight."

"And where are you going to sleep? I feel bad for being the guest in your house and making you sleep on the couch."

"Well, I have a large bed, if you don't mind sharing…"

"Fine by me. As long as you stay on your side of the bed."

"Deal." He smiled.

"Thank you, Castle. For everything." With that, she mustered up her last ounce of energy to retire to his bedroom and collapsed onto his bed, falling asleep instantly, not even bothering to situate herself nicely.

Rick went into the bathroom to get ready for bed. He put Kate's discarded clothes aside and mentally reminded himself to wash them later. After brushing his teeth and changing into pajamas, he retreated back to his room to find Kate fast asleep on his bed.

He moved closer to watch her sleeping form. She really was adorable when she slept. Smiling at her occasional snores, Rick noticed her position on the bed. Smack dab in the middle. _So much for staying on our own sides of the bed…_ he thought.

Slowly sliding into the right side of the bed in an effort not to wake her, Rick attempted to get comfortable, with no avail. He tried to distance himself from her, but couldn't because of the small amount of space that she left him on the right side of the bed.

"Kate," he whispered. No response. "Kate!" He whispered louder. She snored back at him.

Rick tried pushing her over a little, but she just groaned and moved back to the middle of the bed. He resolved to just snuggle up to her and enjoy her presence next to him. Within minutes, Rick was fast asleep, with Kate pressed against his warm body.

_Come home, come home  
_'_Cause I've been waiting for you  
__For so long, so long_


	2. Nightmares

**Chapter 2**

"_Goodbye Nikki. Goodbye Nikki."_

She heard the artificial monotone voice repeat the message, followed by the deafening_ boom_ of the blast, which reverberated in her head. The scorching heat from the fire licking at her skin burned her flesh, and she was rendered helpless. She called out for Castle, but no one was there to save her. As the flames consumed her, she disappeared into the darkness.

Kate tossed and turned in a fitful sleep. Events from the preceding days haunted her while she slept, as she relived the explosion during the night. Her agitations woke Rick up, and he tried to calm her down.

"Kate, Kate…" he said soothingly. "It's just a bad dream. I'm here for you. Go to sleep," he whispered as he gently rubbed her arm to assuage her fears. She soon returned into a peaceful slumber, and Rick subconsciously held her tighter to protect her from her own nightmare.

Light had yet to peek through the windows with the arrival of a new day. Her natural alarm clock awoke her at this early hour, and Kate opened her eyes and blinked a few times to assess her surroundings. It took her a moment to process the foreign environment that she was in, and then she remembered that she was in Rick's room. That would explain the warm body next to her, holding her tightly.

Normally, Kate would push him away and castigate him for crossing the invisible boundary she had laid on the bed, but she felt comfortable in his arms. She couldn't tear herself away from the warmth his body provided, so she relaxed further into his arms. He made her feel safe, with his arms wrapped around her, holding her steadily, but softly, caring.

This was her favorite time of the day. The moment early in the morning between waking up and getting up from bed. Kate liked to just lie in bed and think about the random things that drifted through her mind.

She wondered how long this situation with Castle would last. Of course, he would be more than happy to let her stay until she found a new place of her own, but that would take a while. She didn't want to impose on his family, and Kate feared she would become too settled in his home, as she was now, snuggled in his protective arms.

Her mind drifted to the case, Agent Shaw in particular. Kate was surprised when she found out that Agent Shaw was a mother. She never would have pegged her as a family person. Jordan Shaw was a driven, workaholic like herself. How she could juggle her job and a family life was a mystery to Kate. She almost envied her. Kate was constantly too busy with work to manage a healthy social life. Hell, the last time she went on a date was with Brad Dekker, and she ended up leaving with Castle to follow up on a lead for a case. After that, she went out for burgers and shakes at Remy's with him. How is it that they went on separate dates, but ended up together that night?

Not that her date was any good. Brad, the "pin-up boy" as Castle had deemed him, was self-absorbed and blatantly asked her for sex. Kate would have had a good time with him, but as usual, she was too preoccupied with the case she was working on. Kate reflected on the priorities that she put first on a daily basis: work before everything else. What about her life wasn't centered on her job? This case was a wakeup call for her—she needed to set her priorities straight, or else she would end up alone. What she really wanted was a family. She wanted to feel loved.

Kate thought about the dream she had. The explosion was still fresh on her mind, but she shuddered and brushed it off. Sifting through the remains of her belongings was disheartening. The impact of the loss was finally weighing down on her. All her pictures and valuable memories of the past were now burned to a crisp. At least she had her mother's ring and father's watch, thanks to Castle.

But she had lost so much more than just her clothes, furniture, and other trivial items in the blast. She lost things that were irreplaceable, things that insurance couldn't reimburse. Family photos of her mother were forever gone. Memories of happier times, before her mother's death ate her away, were forever gone.

Every year on the anniversary of her mother's death, Kate would take out those old photos and reminisce upon the cherished moments she shared with her mother. Her heart sank at the thought of never being able to perform this ritual again. Those were the only pictures she had of her mother. All she had left was her wedding ring residing safely on the bedside table. She had nothing else tangible to remember her mother by.

Among the treasured items that she lost was her entire collection of Castle's novels. They were well worn and used, from being read many times, and she valued these books. They were the books that got her through her mother's death. When all she could think about was the void in her heart, she immersed herself in the fictional world of Castle's novels to help ease her pain.

But now, she was homeless and had nothing to her name. Kate knew she should be grateful that she still had her life, but these objects were what held her together.

A few tears trickled down her cheek. Kate rarely cried. She was a tough woman, but the loss of everything she owned was overbearing, especially because she lost the things that helped her feel close to her mother. Rick heard her sniffles as he woke up.

"Kate? Why are you crying?" he inquired groggily.

"I just..." she wiped a tear as she turned to face him. "I was just thinking about everything I lost."

"In the fire?"

She looked up to meet his eyes. "Yeah. I lost pictures of my mother and... my entire collection of your books."

"My books? I could get you new copies if you want."

"Thanks, but those were special to me. I read them all throughout college. They actually helped me get through my mother's death."

"I'm so sorry, about the books and your pictures," he said, tenderly cupping her cheek and kissing her forehead.

"They just all remind me of my mother..." she replied quietly. They lay together in silence for a few minutes.

"And here I thought you would wake up yelling at me for sleeping so close to you" he chuckled softly.

"Well, you were supposed to stay on your own side of the bed."

"I am on my side. You, however, are taking up the majority of the space by sleeping in the middle."

Kate sat up slightly and looked both ways. She lay back down, slightly embarrassed.

"I guess I'm just used to sleeping in the middle of the bed," she said while scooting towards the left side.

"It's not a problem," he said, smiling and moving over to embrace her again.

"Now you're not on your side" she pointed out.

"Do you want me to move back?" he asked.

"I guess not," she said, accepting his invitation by moving back into his open arms.

Kate took a deep breath to take in his scent. She let his warmth overtake her, as her body molded to fit his. The morning twilight slowly passed, as they lay in bed together in a lover's embrace.

_Well you are the one,__ the one that lies close to me  
__Whispers, "Hello, I miss you quite terribly"_


	3. Shopping Spree

**Chapter 3**

Kate went into the precinct later, ready for another day of work. She wanted to work on the serial killer case, but Agent Shaw had firmly kicked her off the team. There were no other cases to work on, as everyone was focused on the Nikki Heat killer case. She sat idly at her desk, with nothing to do.

"Beckett, what are you doing here?" the Captain asked as he walked by her desk. "I told you to go home."

"I did go home, to Castle's apartment, and now I'm well rested and ready to work."

"I meant until we close this case. The killer is still at large and gunning for you. You ought to stay home for a week or so. Take some time to yourself. Treat yourself to a mini-vacation. I don't want to see you around until this case is solved. That's an order."

"Yes, sir" she sighed dejectedly.

Time off really would do her some good. The endless, caffeine-fueled days she spent at work left her burnt out, and she needed to adjust herself to a new life with her old one in shambles, literally.

"Back so soon?" Rick looked up from his laptop as she stepped into his office.

"Yeah, Captain Montgomery told me to take some time off of work. I guess it is a good idea to take a break from my job. I just… feel kind of useless not being able to work. I don't have anything else to do."

Rick stopped typing and closed his laptop. "Why don't I take you shopping? You know, to buy back stuff that you lost. I know it won't replace what you originally had, but at least you will have some basic necessities. You need clothes anyways."

"Thanks but, I'm not really a shopaholic. I'm a workaholic."

"Come on, Kate. I'll let you buy anything you want. Absolutely anything. How often do you get to go on a shopping spree with unlimited restriction on what you can buy?" he coaxed.

"Really, I'm fine. I'll probably go shopping later with Lanie to buy clothes and other things."

"Please Kate? I feel guilty for what's happened to your apartment. If it weren't for me, you would be safe and sound in your own apartment with all your stuff. I can't replace everything you had, but I can try," he said earnestly with puppy dog eyes.

Kate paused to think for a moment about his offer. "Anything I want?"

"Anything," he smiled.

"Fine then. Let's go," she said with a smirk.

Several hours and hundreds of dollars later, Kate laughed at the sight of Rick fumbling with her purchased goods.

"Wow, you really took this shop-till-you-drop thing to heart." Rick said, still struggling to hold all her shopping bags while walking through the mall. "I thought you didn't like shopping that much."

"I don't, because I usually don't need anything. But since my apartment burned down, I needed to replace everything, and then some."

"You really needed this luffa?"

"Absolutely. You did say I could buy _anything_ I wanted," she taunted.

"I wasn't expecting you to buy all these useless girly items."

"They're not useless," she defended.

"I can understand the makeup and the clothes but really, that many pairs of shoes? 27 dresses? And more coats than I can count. I know I'm exaggerating, but you're almost as bad as my second wife, Gina. She had a _very_ expensive taste in clothing, and she never was content with what she already had."

"Hmm. All this shopping is making me hungry. Let's stop by the food court and grab a bite."

"Sounds good."

20 minutes later, they were seated in the food court amongst the bustling lunch crowd.

"You know, I kind of like this shopping thing. Being able to buy anything I want. Having you as my personal slave to carry my things around. I can see why people love shopping."

"Well, my arms along with my wallet are feeling the pain. You're lucky I have a high credit limit. Or else I would have maxed out my credit card by the time we hit the fourth store. Seriously, you spent $100 at Bath and Body works? How much shampoo could you possibly need?"

"I didn't spend $100 on just shampoo. I bought lotions, aromatherapy candles, that luffa, a collection of bubble baths, and a nice fluffy robe. You know how I like warm baths after a long day."

"Along with a glass of wine and a good book, I remember."

"That's right," she said as she ate her last french fry and stood up.

"More shopping? What else could you possibly need to buy?"

"Oh, come on Castle. There's just one more store I have to stop by. It may take a while though…"

"Last store, finally!" Rick exclaimed, as he threw away the trash and picked up the bags around the table.

"Hey, no whining. You're the one who offered to take me shopping."

"I know, I know. I just didn't think you were one of _those_ types."

"What are _those_ types?" she asked, making air quotes around the emphasized word.

"The women that spend ridiculous amounts of money on ridiculous things."

"I'm only splurging because it's your money that I'm spending."

"Of course. So, where are we headed next?" he asked as he followed her across the mall's sleek white tiles.

Kate stopped and surveyed the area. "You don't have to tag along with me into the next store. You can hang out in the Apple store over there until I'm done."

"Okay. So you'll call me when you're finished?"

"Yeah. One more thing though."

"What's that?"

"What's your favorite color?"

"Navy blue. Why?"

"Oh, no reason." Kate gave him a coy smile as she turned to enter the Victoria's Secret she was standing in front of.

Rick could only stop and stare as she sauntered into the store. That woman was full of mysteries. A million porny thoughts were running through his head, but he shook them off and headed towards the Apple store.

Kate's eyes were bombarded by the intensity of the vivid, flamboyant decorations and clothes. Bright yellow here. Lime green there. White spots on fake dog mannequins. Sequins and rhinestones glimmering in the spotlights. Pink everywhere. Of course, this was because she was standing in the PINK section of the store. She continued further in, only to be greeted by one of those annoying, overly attentive salespeople.

"Hi, my name is Ashley! Do you need help finding anything today?" A peppy blonde asked in a high-pitched voice.

"No thanks, I'm just browsing." Kate replied politely.

"Ok. If there's anything you need help with, don't hesitate to ask." She ended her rehearsed greeting with an equally rehearsed smile.

Kate snagged a pair of grey sweatpants off a pink shelf. _They charge $55 for sweatpants? How can anyone afford this stuff? Unless they're rich like Castle, of course. Might as well get them while I'm spending his money,_ she smiled.

Taking whatever else caught her eye, she brought a selection of lingerie into the fitting rooms to try on. Kate found herself putting on mostly navy blue garments, wondering what Castle would think of them. _Wait, why would I care what he thinks? The favorite color thing was supposed to be a joke. Although, I do like this color. Maybe I'll get these to torture him, _she thought, imagining his awestruck face. She selected several bras and panties to buy, along with pajama pants and a baby doll nightie, among other items.

Meanwhile, Rick was checking out Apple's newest gadgets. Their latest gizmo: the iPad. He picked up the demo iPad and explored its functions.

"Interested in the iPad, sir?" an Apple employee asked.

"Yeah, it's so cool!" Rick said, entranced by the device's sharp resolution. "The graphics are great!"

"The apps are the best part. You can drive a racecar in HD, read the Wall Street Journal or Marvel Comics, manage your stocks, play tons of games, and do almost anything you can on a computer on the iPad. They're even working on 3D apps for the iPad. The possibilities for this machine are endless!"

Rick was already trying out the racing app on the iPad. He was like a kid at the candy store.

"Thinking about buying one for yourself?"

He crashed the digital car and then put the iPad back in its dock. "No thanks, I already have an iPad nano," he said, pulling out his iPhone as it rang. The cover of Heat Wave appeared on the screen, indicating that Kate was calling.

"Finished shopping Detective?"

"Yup. Now I need you to pay for everything."

"I'll be right there."

Rick reached the register just as the cashier rang up the last few items and bagged them.

"You are one lucky man," the brunette behind the counter said, raising an eyebrow at Rick.

"Oh, we're not together." Kate explained awkwardly.

"So what's the damage Detective?" Rick asked as he pulled out his wallet.

"Your total is $260.24." the cashier said sweetly.

"Ouch. My bills this month are going to be through the roof!"

"Stop complaining, Castle. I know you're dying to see what I bought." Kate rolled her eyes.

"Will you model them for me?" he said playfully.

"In your dreams, Castle."

"Castle… as in Rick Castle? The author of Heat Wave?"

"In the flesh." Rick replied smugly.

"Then you must be Nikki Heat" the woman said to Kate, putting two and two together.

Kate was surprised that someone like her would read Castle's novels.

"It's just fiction. We're not…" Kate said, motioning between them.

"Sure… I've read page 105. That sex scene? You definitely are a lucky man," the cashier said as she swiped Rick's credit card through.

Kate picked up the glossy pink shopping bags as they exited the store to head home after their long day of shopping galore.

"I'm sure you've shopped to your heart's desire?" Rick asked on their drive home.

"You know, I still could use a few more things…"

"You're kidding right?"

"Yes. I've bought way more stuff today than I've actually owned in the past 5 years. Thank you, Castle. Really. I know I shouldn't be so superficial over materialistic things, but this did make me feel better."

"I know women like to splurge a little bit every now and then. Or in your case, a lot."

Kate laughed as she pulled up the car in front of his building.

'_Cause it's you and me, and all of the people  
__With nothing to do, nothing to lose_

**A/N: (12/19/11) Okay a lot of people have commented that this chapter was wayy out of character and now that I've went back and re-read it, I agree. (Also, the total that she spent was too high so I fixed that.) I can't really change this chapter b/c the whole thing is about the shopping spree so... yeah. I changed some numbers to make it more believable. (You definitely can spend $250 at VS) Sorry for writing this chapter out of character :( [Btw, some of the original #s were references to other things. The luffa was from a Mer/Der fic I read and 27 dresses was obviously from Katherine Heigl's movie. That's why I picked some of those outrages numbers.]**


	4. Playtime & Bedtime

**Chapter 4**

"Hmm… I'm going to go take a shower," Kate said once she entered Rick's apartment.

"I'll order in. What do you feel like?"

"Chinese?"

"Sure."

Kate put some of the shopping bags down and then went into Rick's bedroom to drop off the rest of the things she bought earlier in the day. Taking a few of her new items, she disappeared into the bathroom.

"Your food will be delivered in 45 minutes."

"Got it. Thanks." Rick finished placing his order just when the doorbell rang. He opened the door to reveal his book agent, Paula, carrying a large box of his novels. She dumped the box into his hands with a grunt.

"Nice to see you too, Paula."

"Why did you have to write so many best-sellers?" she groaned.

"It's what I do for a living."

"Tell me again why you suddenly needed a copy of all your greatest hits?"

"It's for someone special."

"Ah, and I'm guessing these are for someone special too. Unless you have a taste for… mango mandarin body splash," Paula said, rummaging through the shopping bags. "And cherry blossom bubble bath. Have you decided to get in touch with your feminine side?" she teased.

"No. Those aren't mine. They're… Beckett's."

"Hmm. So that's who the books are for? And I'm guessing that's who's in your shower right now too…"

"She's staying with me because her apartment was blown up. Nothing is going on," Rick said with a stern face.

"Sure, sure. Listen, I've got to run. I have a date, which I am now going to be late for because you urgently needed a copy of every single one of your novels."

"Thank you, Paula. This is important to her."

"Uh huh. You owe me."

"I'll make it up to you another time," he said, kissing her cheek.

"You better," Paula replied as she left his loft.

Rick sat at his kitchen countertop with the novels, flipping through the pages and looking over his past work. He smiled at the dedications, for each novel was dedicated to a special person that greatly influenced his life. Taking the time to autograph the title pages of each book, he wrote a special note to Kate in every single novel.

He got to the brand new copy of Heat Wave, and wrote:

_To Kate, because you inspired me. And you're my muse, but please don't break my legs._

As he finished signing the books, the doorbell buzzed again. The delivery guy dropped off the Chinese takeout and Rick paid and thanked him.

After he set the food on the counter, Rick began moving the freshly autographed novels to his bedroom to present to Kate later. Bringing in the last stack of books, he noticed the pink Victoria's Secret bags at the foot of his bed. Curiosity got the better of him, and he decided to sneak a peek into the bags. He was so engrossed in his nosing around that he failed to notice the shower no longer running and Kate standing in the doorway.

"Aha! I knew you couldn't resist looking," she said, as she walked over and snatched the bag away from him.

"You know," Rick said distractedly, "I said my favorite color was navy blue, not white." His eyes roamed her under dressed body appreciatively, as she was only wearing white lingerie and a floral kimono that was hanging open.

Kate retied the nightgown quickly before Rick could not-so-discreetly cop another look.

"I like the kimono though. Very sexy. Just like a good book: long enough to cover everything, but short enough to keep things interesting."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Glad you like it. Pure silk. Cost $70."

"Worth every penny."

"Are you done poking through my stuff?"

"No, but I do have a reason why I'm here."

"And what's that, Rick?" she asked sarcastically. "To fantasize me wearing this stuff or to try it out for yourself maybe?"

"Very funny, but no." He pulled out a small, plastic box out of an Apple bag. "I got you an iTouch at the Apple store while you were in Victoria's Secret. That way, you can get all the awesome apps they offer. Like the one Agent Shaw has. The finger print app? So cool. And of course, you can put your music on it. I already have 'Bohemian Rhapsody' downloaded onto it for you. Also, you can store your photos digitally. Your dad must have some pictures of your mother, and this way you can carry them around with you all the time."

"Oh wow. Thanks."

"And…" he continued as he advanced towards the bed. "I got you books. My books," he said, gesturing to the stack of novels on the nightstand.

"I signed each one to you. Paula dropped them off for me after I called her this morning. It's not the same as your old copies… but at least they're somewhat special."

Kate picked up the top book, Heat Wave, smiling as she read the note.

"Thank you Castle. That's very… sweet."

"It doesn't make up for what you lost, but I can try."

"This means a lot to me. Really." She moved over to hug him, and tentatively wrapped her arms around him. Pulling back so that she could see his face, still only inches apart, she whispered, "Thank you."

"And I'll get an advanced copy of Naked Heat for you once it's available. You'll be the first of the general public to read it."

"Naked Heat?" she frowned.

"Yep. That's the title of the next novel in my Nikki Heat series," he smiled giddily.

"Seriously? Now I'm considering breaking your legs. Both of them," Kate said as she pulled away to head towards the kitchen for dinner.

"Oh, come on. It's the perfect title, now that Heat and Rook are together in both their unorthodox partnership and in bed," Rick argued as he accompanied her.

"How slutty do you want to make me sound?" she chastised, taking out the food.

"Artistic integrity," he sang in a sing-songy voice. "You didn't like the name Nikki Heat the first time you heard it either. But now, it has grown on you—admit it."

"Ugh, you are incorrigible. How can you go from being a sweet, thoughtful guy to an inconsiderate ass in literally 5 minutes?"

"All my readers would beg to differ."

"Half of your 'Castle groupies' are deranged fans. Why do so many people enjoy reading a novel about a detective hooking up with some hot-shot writer?"

"You tell me. You're a _big_ fan of my work, aren't you?"

"I am a fan… of the genre. I'm just saying, couldn't you tone down the promiscuity a little bit? The title is already exuding sex."

"No one wants to buy a book about a boring, by-the-book cop. They like scandal. They like steamy, risqué scenes between two passionate, unlikely lovers."

"So what's coming up for them in Naked Heat? I hear there's a lot of hype for your next novel."

"You're a spoiler fiend? I should have known; you subscribe to my website."

"Definitely not a spoiler fiend. Just a few details?" she prodded.

"I don't want to give away the plot. However, things between Heat and Rook really ignite. Page 105? There's a _lot_ more of that in Naked Heat," he enticed.

Kate got up to throw away her empty take-out box and walked over to Rick's chair.

"So since I _am_ your inspiration, tell me Ricky, how exactly do I inspire you?" she said seductively, her lips inches away from his.

"In so many ways, detective. In so many ways. You do have more Nikki Heat in you than you think."

"Hmmph. I'm off to sleep." She backed off and headed to the bathroom to wash up.

After she finished brushing her teeth, she headed to Rick's room to find him arranging pillows on the bed.

"You know, since Martha's out and Alexis is visiting Meredith for spring break, you could sleep in either one of their rooms until they get back," Rick stated.

"I like your bed better."

"Oh really? And why is that? Is it because you like the person who's sleeping in the bed with you?" he teased.

"More like the 1500 thread count Egyptian cotton California king bed sheets," she said as she climbed into the opposite side of the bed.

"Ouch, I'm hurt."

"What makes you think I would want to sleep next to you? You're a blanket hogger," she complained as he pulled the majority of the covers onto his side.

"Am not."

"Are too. Look, you're hogging all the sheets. I'm going to be blanketless at night."

"What are you going to do about it? You're going to have to move closer if you want to share the sheets."

"Maybe I will." She nestled herself next to him as he enveloped her in his arms and held her close.

"Night Kate," he breathed softly.

"Goodnight Rick."

_I fell in __love, in love with you suddenly  
__Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms_


	5. And Then We Kiss

**Chapter 5**

It was over. The hunt, the taunting, the case—all over. After Agent Shaw was abducted, Agent Avery called Beckett in to help find his partner, and the Captain had no other choice than to let her back on the task force. She and Castle had taken a risky gamble and ended up not only catching Dunn, but saving the lives of Agent Shaw, Agent Avery, and all of their men.

Kate would be lying if she said she wasn't afraid. With only Castle as her backup and a mere theory to go on, they pulled off the seemingly impossible and defeated Dunn. It's a good thing she played poker with Castle, or else her bluff might not have worked.

Adrenaline was still pumping through her veins as she and Rick went back to his apartment after the intense showdown. It was late at night, but the duo was still reeling from the conclusion to the thrilling case.

"Wow, that was epic. The final battle between Nikki Heat and the killer. That would have made an amazing climax for one of my novels," Rick gushed.

"Yeah, well you were good in there. It was pretty heroic. You actually saved my life."

"What say we celebrate with some drinks?"

"I'm not really in the mood for something strong."

"Wine then?"

"Sure."

Rick took out a bottle of red Châteauneuf-du-Pape and two crystal wine glasses to accompany it. He popped the cork and poured a generous amount into each glass. Moving over to the dimly lit spot where Kate sat on his couch, he offered her the drink as he sat down next to her.

"Thanks," Kate said, accepting the glass and taking a sip. "So are you going to put that scene in your next Nikki Heat novel?"

"Definitely something along the lines. The adrenaline rush you get from engaging in a real faceoff, it's indescribable."

"Rick Castle, speechless? That's a first."

"You're probably used to the energy surge from your work on the force, but for me, it was definitely a first."

"I'll be honest, it was scary. And extremely risky. How did you know Dunn would be in the building across the street?" she asked, while drinking more wine.

"Writer's intuition?" he shrugged. "Since he was an aspiring novelist, I figured that he would have a similar mindset as me. Besides, I'm used to getting into killers' heads. Maybe my theories aren't so silly anymore. I am pretty useful."

"Yeah, well don't flatter yourself. Your marksmanship? Not so sharp."

"I did save your life." Rick raised his glass to toast his accomplishment.

She rolled her eyes in response. "But you were aiming for his head."

"It was a spur of the moment shot. I didn't get a good chance to aim. He had you at gunpoint."

"My second brush with death in a week. This is becoming a frequent thing," she observed, washing down the rest of her wine.

"I hope not. As exciting as this case was, I'm glad it is over."

"Me too. Now I can sleep safe and sound. Until another one of your crazy fans starts staging murders like your books again. You know, it's a good thing Dunn needed to get that last word in before shooting. Bad guys always have to insert their own signature little quips before committing their crime."

"I told you he hit all the clichés. More wine?" he offered, observing her drained glass.

"Please," she replied as he got up and brought the bottle over to their cozy little spot to refill her glass. They sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments, each sipping their wine as they reflected on the day's events.

"I dreamt about the explosion a few nights ago…" Kate said, breaking the silence.

"I know. You were tossing and turning in your sleep."

"Yeah…"

"You okay?"

"It was like I was there all over again. The bomb, the fire, the smoke… I called out for you but you weren't there. I just… disappeared." Kate looked at Rick with a vulnerability he had never seen before.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you… but I'm here now." He set his wine glass on the table to pull her onto his lap and embrace her in a hug. Rick wrapped his arms around her waist and she rested her head in the crook of his neck.

"It's over now though," she breathed a sigh of relief. "We caught him," she mumbled.

"You don't have to be afraid of anything," he smiled, reassuring her.

The night was approaching a late hour as Kate sensed the familiar buzz in her head from the wine. She felt relaxed and at ease. She felt at home.

"Mmm… wine is really the best way to decompress after a long day." Kate finished off her glass and set it back on the table.

"Absolutely."

"Hmm… this living in your apartment thing isn't so bad. At first, I thought it would be the worst thing in the world, but it's not. It's kind of nice… almost like cohabitation," she giggled as she turned to face him.

"Yes but, we're not sleeping together."

"Technically we are…" Kate pointed out as she leaned in closer, their lips dangerously close. Her judgment was slightly clouded from the alcohol, but not so much that she didn't know what she was doing. She rested her hand on Rick's chest, feeling his heart beat rhythmically.

Kate held him in a spellbinding gaze as he was entranced by her twinkling eyes.

"Your eyes are sparkling," Rick breathed.

"Oh?" she smiled playfully.

"Mhm... did you know that sparkling eyes result from dilated pupils, which indicate either immense happiness or physical attraction?"

"I did not know that."

"Well now you do."

"Maybe I'm immensely happy about closing our case..."

"I'm sure that's it," he chuckled, feeling her breath on his skin from their close proximity. Aphrodisia was infused in the air around them, as the two paramours drew closer, intoxicated by their own lustful want.

Rick was the one to close the gap between them as he brushed his lips with hers lightly, relishing the taste of her soft lips against his. He pulled back from the long, drugging kiss, unsure of how she would react.

"Kate, I..."

She silently pressed her lips to his again, with more force this time, conveying her suppressed feelings to him, finally freeing herself of all self-imposed hindrances. She let go and allowed herself to be swept up by the attraction she had so long denied. She let emotion take over, and instead of her mind, her heart guided her actions. He was taken by surprise at the kiss, but welcomed it and reciprocated the action by kissing her back with equal force.

Their gentle kisses escalated into ones full of need, urgency, fervor, the passion between them igniting into a brilliant flame. In the dead of night, they came to life, tongues dueling for superiority, testing the limits of temptation. Their mouths clashed in a hungry frenzy, aching to taste and explore the depths of the others', as they delved into the unknown, together. She pulled away, leaving them both breathless from the all-consuming kiss.

Extending her hand, she led him to his bedroom as they crossed the line between friends and lovers, consummating their relationship in a night of passion-filled ecstasy.

_Soft kiss and win__e, what a pretty friend of mine  
__We're finally intertwined  
__Nervous and shy,  
__For the moment we will come alive, tonight_


	6. Morning After

**Chapter 6**

Kate woke up feeling a slight buzz in her head along with a delicious ache that satiated the rest of her body. Her naked figure was intertwined with Rick's in a tangled mess underneath the sheets, but she was warm, despite their lack of clothing. He had his arms wrapped protectively around her, holding her tenderly, making her feel like she belonged. Memories from last night flashed through her mind, as she recollected in vivid detail the events that had transpired between them. She recalled him ravishing her lithe body in more ways than she could imagine in the wee hours of the morning. Kate bit her lip as she remembered his mouth leaving a trail of blazing kisses along her skin. She had never felt more alive. And then it really hit her. _Oh god, what did I do?_

Frantically thinking to herself, she tried to rationalize her actions. _It was late and I had a lot of wine to drink. We just closed the case, so we were both on an adrenaline high. As long as this doesn't happen again… God, these morning afters are awkward. Well, I wouldn't really know because I've never had a one night stand…_

She honestly hadn't. Not that she was a prude, but Kate selected her lovers carefully. Usually, she waited until she established a romantic relationship before beginning a sexual one. Nothing in her life was based on rash, impulsive decisions. But then along came Rick Castle, who just _had_ to upset the apple cart. After a year of swearing that nothing would ever happen between them, here she was, in his bed after a night of mind-blowing, earth shattering sex. _Now how did this happen…_

Blinking a few times, Rick woke up, sensing the presence of a warm body next to him. He remembered the advent of the previous night where they took a huge, irrevocable step in their relationship. Things were a little blurry, but he replayed what he could remember in his head. Closing the case, drinking some wine, talking about sparkling eyes. And somehow they ended up in bed together, for a night that neither of them would forget. He realized that he was spooning her, as her body was a snug fit to his. Rick pulled her to him, feeling the need to hold her close.

"Morning," he breathed into her ear, interrupting her mile-a-minute thoughts.

Kate turned around to face him. "Morning," she replied tentatively. Eying him closely, Kate observed his expression. "So we uh…" she stuttered awkwardly, motioning between them.

"Um, yeah. We did," he admitted sheepishly.

"I must've had too much wine to drink."

"You only had a few glasses."

"Which was enough to cloud my judgment. I definitely wouldn't have done this completely sober."

Her words stung. Was this a mistake? Because it definitely didn't feel like one to him. Did she think it was? He started to apologize. "I'm sorry, Kate."

"Don't apologize. It's fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. It's just one night."

"I hope this doesn't mess things up…"

"No, no. I just can't believe… it hasn't even been a week and you already got me into bed," she said playfully, ashamed that she was unable to resist him.

"Well, technically we slept together on the very first night," Rick chuckled as he cupped her cheek and pressed his lips to hers.

Kate smiled as she allowed his lips to guide her own. He deepened the kiss slightly, begging for entrance into her mouth. Granting it, she parted her lips so he could enter. She was rendered helpless as he explored her mouth with his tongue. Rick savored the feel of her soft lips against his own and reluctantly ended the tender kiss with a sigh. After a few seconds, he opened his eyes to look into her inquisitive ones.

"What does this mean?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know…" she turned away from him.

"So are we a…"

"We are..." Kate faced him again. "I don't know what we are. Let's not talk about this right now, please?" She was avoiding. Sidestepping all the questions that she couldn't answer. They would have to talk about it eventually, but she didn't want to right now. She needed time to think about the ramifications of their actions—how this would affect their partnership and relationship in general. If it was a one-time thing or something more. If she was ready for the start of something new. But no matter what, things wouldn't go back to what they were. Something was going to change, and she wasn't quite ready to deal with it yet.

"Okay…" Rick caressed her cheek gently with his thumb. He accepted that she wanted to think things over first. It was a Kate Beckett thing, and he respected that. But there was still one question lingering in the back of his mind. He was almost scared to ask her because he was afraid of what she would answer, but his desire to know got the better of him. Hesitantly, he asked, "You don't regret it, do you?"

"No, god no," Kate insisted. "It was amazing," she said, smiling. "I can't remember the last time I had sex as good as last night."

"Hmm… good. Last night was incredible for me too," Rick murmured as he brushed his lips to hers again. Kissing her was addicting. Her lips were a drug that he just couldn't get enough of.

Kate moaned as their kisses became deeper and more passionate.

"Care for a repeat of last night?" Rick asked breathlessly between kisses.

Kate replied by flipping them over so she was on top.

"You bet," she smirked with a seductive glint in her eye.

And with that, the flame between the two was once more ignited. Throwing all rational thought out the window, Kate let the passion consumer her. Their bodies connected as one again, the heat of their lovemaking mixing together to match the sparks of their fiery relationship.

_I__'m on fire, when you're near me  
__I'm on fire, when you speak  
__And I'm on fire, burning at these mysteries_


	7. Lobster

**Chapter 7**

Several hours later, Kate entered the precinct in anticipation of a huge stack of paperwork dealing with the serial killer case they had just closed. She was happy to be back at work, but the day off she spent with Rick was nice.

Even though it was noon, Kate helped herself to a cappuccino to start her day off. She couldn't help but smile at the brewing beverage. Kate was feeling unusually happy today. _Snap out of it, _she castigated herself. _You scold Rick for using his I-just-got-laid voice, and now you're none the better._

Kate headed back to her desk and sat down just as Ryan and Esposito walked by.

"Morning guys," she greeted them in a slightly overly friendly voice.

"It's not exactly morning anymore," Esposito pointed out.

"Yeah, where've you been all morning?" Ryan inquired.

"Oh, I uh… got caught up with something…" Kate lied. Well, it wasn't completely a lie. It just wasn't the whole truth. Like she was going to tell them that she was too busy having hot shower sex in the bathroom this morning with Rick.

The two men pondered on her vague response. Off to the side, Ryan remarked to Esposito, "Beckett's being all giddy today. What's that all about?"

"Yeah, she's never this happy," Esposito whispered back. "Do you think she…? You know." He gave a slight nod to the empty seat next to her desk, deemed Castle's chair.

"What?"

Turning his attention back to Beckett, Esposito asked, "This 'something' wouldn't have to do with Castle, now would it?"

"No," she retorted defensively. "Of course not. What makes you say that?"

"Oh, just the fact that you're all smile-y and happy, which never happens unless there's a guy involved. And it just so happens that you are currently residing in Castle's castle. Isn't that right?"

"Ahh." Ryan caught on. "Doing the nasty with writer boy?"

"What? You guys are… ugh! Get back to work!" She ended the conversation abruptly to avoid further embarrassment. Was she really that readable to those two?

"Trained detectives, Beckett." Esposito taunted as they turned to leave. "We learned from the best."

"Yeah, yeah" she said, throwing a pen at their retreating figures. Kate's phone rang and she picked it up instinctively.

"Beckett."

"Kate, I heard about the serial killer and your apartment and I've been trying forever to reach you. You didn't pick up all day. Are you okay?" Lanie worriedly questioned her friend.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"You're not hurt at all?"

"Not really, just a few bumps and bruises here and there. My wrist is a little banged up, but I took a day off to rest so I'm better."

"How did you survive the explosion?"

"Castle actually figured out that the killer was still alive and that he was targeting me. He called me just as the bomb was about to blow up to warn me about it. I dove into my tub before the bomb blew, and it protected me from the fire. Castle kicked down the door and helped me out of my burning apartment."

"Oh, thank god," Lanie sighed with relief. "Castle saved your life for a change."

"Hmm, yeah" Kate agreed.

"So where are you living now that your apartment is in shambles?"

"Actually, I'm staying with Castle. He has been very inviting and accommodating of me."

"Oh." Lanie replied, surprised. "You're living with Castle."

"It's only temporary. I'm going to look for a new place soon."

"Uh-huh," she said skeptically. "So nothing has happened between you two?"

"Why does everyone assume that because I'm staying with him, something has happened?"

"We've seen you two working together for the past year. Don't you think Castle has gotten more than enough research by now?"

"Yes, but I keep him around because he's helpful on cases."

"Okay, okay."

"You, Ryan, and Esposito need to mind your own business." Kate continued defending herself.

"Sorry, honey. It's just like in high school. When two people like each other, everyone else talks about it and tries to get them together."

"I get it." There was a pause for a few seconds. Kate sighed. Lanie was her best friend and she knew that she could keep a secret. Plus, Kate really needed to tell someone. She needed help to figure out what she should do. Kate looked around to see if anyone was listening to her conversation. Lowering her voice she asked, "You want the truth?"

"Truth about what?"

"We slept together."

"I knew it!"

"Twice."

"When?"

"Last night and this morning."

"Oh my god. How did it happen?"

"We just closed the case and I had too much wine to drink…"

"So are you two…?"

"I don't know what we are!"

"I knew you two were going to get together eventually… but not like this."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Have you talked to him?"

"Um… not really. I've been kind of avoiding it. I'm not ready to talk to him about it yet."

"Then why did you tell me?"

"I needed to tell _someone_. I know I can trust you. Please don't tell anyone else, okay? Especially not Ryan or Esposito. They'll tease me to no end."

"You have my word. Sorry sweetie, I got to go. My lunch break ended and I have bodies to examine. This conversation is so not over. Want to talk over drinks later?"

"Sure. I'll see you later Lanie."

"Bye."

Lanie hung up the phone and shook her head. Why couldn't Kate see that she and Rick made an adorable couple? Everyone but those two saw sparks fly between them the moment they first met. Still, Kate and Rick continued to avoid acknowledging any romantic interests in the other. After a year of denying such feelings, they finally consummated the relationship in a night of drunken sex. Nevertheless, it was a start. No more avoiding. No more denial. They have to confront one another about the feelings they have for each other, head on.

As Lanie scrubbed back in, she couldn't help but smile. Not only was she genuinely happy for her friend, but she just earned a lot of money that she had to cash in on. Good thing neither Kate nor Rick found out about the pool she started. It had circulated around work and people bet on when those two would hook up. Luckily, she had picked the right week.

"Kate, just you wait. You've found your lobster," she said to out loud to no one in particular. She mentally made a plan to get Kate to talk to Rick about their one night and one morning stand. Lanie had been waiting forever to see those two get together. If all went well, maybe one day there will be wedding bells and little Castle babies in the future.

_Some things we don't talk about  
__Rather do without  
__Just hold the smile_

**A/N: FYI, lobsters mate for life. Haha, sorry for the randomness. (: Kind of a filler chappy. I'll try to write more! Expect some fluff in future chapters. Review please!**


	8. Girls' Night Out

**Chapter 8**

"Hey, I'm… home." Kate greeted as she entered the apartment while Rick held the door open for her.

"Hey."

After an awkward morning after, Kate and Rick were still at odds. They hadn't talked about what was predominantly on both of their minds. There was a big, grey elephant sitting in the room.

"How was work?" Rick inquired.

"Slow day, as I predicted. I just sat around finishing up paperwork and organizing things. You?"

"Finished another chapter of… the next Nikki Heat novel."

"Oh good. When's it being released?"

"Mid-September of this year. I think Gina's arranging a tour for me to visit different cities doing signings of Heat Wave when the paperback comes out and to endorse the next installment in the series."

"Hmm."

The small talk was driving her insane. Kate wanted to talk about it, but at the same time she didn't want to. He had questions and she didn't have the answers. What does this mean? How does this affect our relationship, both personal and professional? Are we… together? Everything was just so… confusing.

There was a pregnant pause between the two, where conversation normally never ceased to flow. While she pondered the questions that neither of them could answer, Rick studied her, trying to discern her thoughtful disposition.

Kate shuffled off her thoughts and decided to break the silence.

"I'm going to meet Lanie for drinks."

"Oh, okay."

She ventured off into his bedroom to change out of her work clothes. Kate knew she would have to face the music eventually and decided to talk to him after getting some advice from Lanie. At least she would have some alcohol to numb her senses. Being slightly tipsy would make the situation a little easier to handle.

Grabbing her purse, Kate exited the bedroom and headed to the door.

"Don't wait up for me," she said.

"Oh wait, before you go…" Rick reached into his pocket searching for an object.

"Here." He handed her a freshly cut key.

"A key to your apartment?"

"Yeah. I made a trip to the hardware store to get a key made for you."

"I'm not going to be staying for too long though. I'll start looking at apartments soon."

"Then just keep it for the time being."

"Thanks," she said as she pocketed the key. "I'll see you later."

Kate put a hand on Rick's chest and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. It was the kind of kiss that people exchanged on a daily basis, nothing too meaningful. But to them, it was unusual because of how comfortable they were with it. It was like they did this sort of thing every day, coming home and kissing each other on the cheek.

They were both surprised at the natural feel of the kiss but didn't pay much attention to it.

"Have fun with Lanie."

She flashed him a smile and went to meet her friend at the place they frequented.

Casting a cursory glance through the chic bar, Kate quickly spotted Lanie by the counter with a fruity drink in hand. She joined her friend on the stools and waved to the bartender.

"Finally. I've been waiting here forever. Spill, girl. I want to know all the details. When it happened. Where. How. Why. Everything."

"Jeez, Lanie. I just got here. Can't you let me at least order a drink before I tell you all the sordid details of my momentary lapse in judgment?"

"_Lapses,_" Lanie emphasized the plurality of the word. "It happened twice, right?"

"Well aren't you good at remembering details," Kate replied sardonically. The bartender served her the drink she ordered and she gulped down a large mouthful.

"Ah, much better."

"So?"

"Okay… I'll start with the case. Agent Shaw, the FBI profiler in charge of the case, was abducted by the killer, so the Captain had to let me back on the team after he gave me strict instructions to stay home and rest. Using some information from footage that the killer used as verification that she was alive, we traced it to the location where he was keeping her. The hostage rescue team entered the building, but unbeknownst to them, it was a trap, luring them into an empty warehouse save for a few tons of an explosive called cyclonite."

"Get to the sex already!" Lanie exclaimed loudly. Several heads turn towards them and stared in response to her outburst.

"Do you want me to skip all the action part of the case?"

"Just cliffnotes it."

"Basically, Castle was my only backup and in the end we saved the day. Agent Shaw and the rest of her team were fine and we caught Dunn."

"And then…?" she prodded impatiently.

"We closed the case and went back to his apartment."

"Finally, we're getting to the good part."

Ignoring Lanie's remarks, Kate continued.

"He poured some wine for both of us and we got to talking. One thing led to another… and we slept together."

"That's it? Where are the details?"

"It's all a bit fuzzy. I had a few glasses of wine to drink."

"Come on. How was the sex?"

"It was… amazing," Kate smiled like a love struck girl. She felt like a teenager again, talking about a cute guy in school that she had a crush on. But this was real life. And Rick Castle was real. Very real.

"He's very passionate and sensual. I completely lose control when I'm with him… Seriously, he's unlike anyone I've ever been with before."

"Oh my god, you're totally in love with him."

"What? Who said anything about love? We only slept together twice. Love is definitely out of the question." At the mere mention of the word, Kate put up all her defenses again. She was definitely _not_ in love with Rick Castle.

"Alright, alright" Lanie held up her hands. "Have you talked to him yet?"

"No! I'm avoiding. I needed to talk to you first. What should I do?"

"I say go for it. You know what they say: opposites attract. And you two are polar opposites. Different as night and day. We all knew you two were bound to end up together."

"But he's… Castle. He's got two divorces under his belt and he's notorious for being a playboy. Not to mention Alexis, who is an angel, but how would she deal with us being together?"

"Kate, Kate, Kate. Stop over analyzing everything. This isn't another one of your cases. Just a relationship. Trust your instincts. Go with your heart on this one. And girl, try to have a little fun."

"You really think I should go for it."

"What have I been trying to tell you since you guys first met? He's Rick Castle. You love his novels and he's totally into you. He's been following you around for the past year like a puppy dog. Helplessly in love. Puppy love."

"There's that L-word again. Not love. Lust maybe. Absolutely not love." Kate determined firmly. "You know what happened last time I let a guy in…" Kate trailed off, remembering the inevitable pain a previous relationship had caused her.

"He broke your heart. I know. But that was a while ago and you need someone new. It doesn't even have to be serious right now, just let it go where ever it goes."

"If we cross this line… there's no turning back."

"Don't you think you already crossed that line? Twice, I might add." Lanie said matter-of-factly.

"And if it ends badly…"

"Don't think about that now. Focus on the present. If you're not ready for a serious relationship, I think he will respect that. You two can just be… friends with benefits."

"Friends with benefits?"

"Yeah, just like being regular friends, but with a lot of sex in between. Sex with no strings attached."

"Won't he feel like I'm using him?"

"You two can enjoy the sex, all the while discovering more about each other. Like I said, just see where this goes. You might be surprised at the outcome."

"Friends with benefits." Kate tested out the phrase on her tongue. She decided she liked this solution, as it was a way to define things in the present, all the while leaving room for them to explore their feelings for one another.

"Thanks Lanie. I appreciate your advice."

"You know I can't resist gossiping about the latest developments in your love life. I always give good advice when it comes to relationships."

"You and your infinite wisdom on the minglings of hearts and minds in our interminable quest to find the other half of our souls."

"Now I think you've had a little too much to drink." Lanie pointed out as Kate set down her nearly empty glass.

"Hmm… It's getting late. I should go home soon. I hope Castle's still up; I need to talk to him."

"While you're tipsy?"

"Liquid courage." Kate raised her glass ceremoniously and downed the rest of her drink.

"Thanks again Lanie."

"Any time girl."

_We are exactly what we are  
__Let's disregard that talk of where we're at and where we're going_

**A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a week. I think I'm going to write some longer chapters (but consequently, they will be updated slower.) But you know what motivates me to write faster? REVIEWS. (:**


	9. The Talk

**Chapter 9**

Though it was nearing midnight, Rick was still up, typing away at his computer. He was stumped when he arrived at the dilemma of how to further the relationship between Nikki and Rook. They were last seen caught in a thunderstorm that didn't serve to dampen the flame between the two lovers. Beyond that, he was unsure of how their relationship would continue.

_How ironic,_ he thought. Life imitating art. The situation between him and Kate was so similar to that in his novel. Only, in his novel he could write the ending he wanted. Life wasn't nearly as easy.

The sound of a key jostling in the lock brought Rick out of Nikki's fictitious world and back to reality. Closing his laptop, he left his office to investigate the late night intruder and then remembered that Kate was due back home soon.

Or now. He opened up the door for her, as she was fumbling with the key.

"I could've opened that… and put my new key to good use," she pouted teasingly.

"Hello to you too," he greeted.

"Hmm… I told you not to wait up…" Kate said, slightly slurring her speech. "But then again, when do you ever follow my instructions?" she giggled.

Rick chuckled at her less than sober state. "Had a good time with Lanie?"

"Yup."

"Didn't do anything I wouldn't?"

"Of course not." Kate plopped herself down on the couch. "It'd be pretty hard to top your festivities. A police horse? I'd never be audacious enough. How embarrassing would it be for Ryan or Esposito to arrest me?"

"You need to make some wild, drunken memories of your own, so that you'll have a story to tell at parties. Come on Kate, what's the craziest, wildest thing you've ever done?"

Biting her lip, she thought for a moment. A glint flasher in her eye, as she remembered a particular college party that got a bit out of hand. Kate said mischievously, "Story for another day."

"Then what did you two do?" Rick asked as he sat down next to her.

"Oh we just had a few drinks and talked about girl stuff…"

"Define: 'girl stuff,'" he said, emphasizing the words with air quotes.

"You know, the usual. Careers. Clothes. Sex. Boys and their stupid penises. Speaking of which, I need to talk to you."

"About my stupid penis?"

"No. Yes. Kind of."

"What?"

"You know… us."

"Oh."

"Yeah." After a few seconds of hesitation she turned to him and asked, "What are we doing?"

"I don't know," he scratched his head sheepishly. "I was hoping that you would tell me."

"Well, we're not a couple." He expected that much.

"So, we should just forget about it? Pretend that it never happened?"

"No it happened, we can't disregard that. It happened twice, and I kind of want it to happen again…"

"But we're not a couple," Rick repeated.

"We can be um… what's that term Lanie used… friends with Benedict?"

"You mean friends with benefits?"

"Yeah, that's it. Friends with benefits. I don't really know what that is though."

"It's like… a casual relationship. Mainly a sexual relationship without emotions involved."

"So just sex?"

"Just sex."

"Hmm… that could be fun. We could just be friends and have sex. Lots of it."

"That's what friends with benefits is for."

"Okay then."

"Okay?" Rick was thoroughly surprised that she would agree to such an arrangement. Since the moment he met her, he'd been trying to pursue some kind of relationship with her. And no doubt he wanted her badly. Rick envied every single man who had ever held her hand, kissed her lips, or touched her body. He wanted to do those things with her. He wanted to be the only one to do so.

"Yes. I'm saying yes. Unless you don't want to go for it."

He snapped out of his confusion long enough to accept her proposition. "No. I'm all for it."

"This isn't just some cheap relationship. It's just… we can't keep our hands off each other, and I need time to think about things. I don't think I'm ready for a committed relationship with anyone right now. I'm not just using you for sex."

"I'd be fine if you were," he grinned.

"Very funny. I just don't want you to think that I'm being cheap or slutty."

"Kate, I could never think of you like that," he said as he moved closer to her. "You are a beautiful, respectable woman, and you deserve to be treated like one. But if this is what you want…"

"Mhmm."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Okay," he confirmed.

"Rules. We need rules."

"Isn't the point of this that there are no rules?"

"But there always needs to be rules."

"I hope you know by now that rules are meant to be broken. I, of all people, should have taught you that."

"Fine, the one rule is that there are no rules."

Rick started laughing at this.

"What's so funny?" Kate asked, genuinely confused.

"Nothing. Only you would make a rule about no rules," he said with a smile that extended to his eyes.

"Hmmph. Fine."

"Come here." Rick pulled her onto his lap. He pushed the bangs out of her face and looked deeply into her green irises. "You sure about this?"

"Definitely."

She leaned forward to close the gap between them and crashed her lips onto his. Curious hands roamed the other's body as they reconnected on a whole new level. With every movement they discovered more about each other, what makes him moan, what makes her tremble. Rick broke the kiss and pulled back just enough to look at Kate.

"Hello friend," he whispered.

She giggled and moved to unbutton his shirt. He distracted her from the task at hand by trailing kisses along her jawbone, reaching a spot behind her ear that he paid special attention to. She let out a guttural moan as he nibbled and sucked on her earlobe gently.

"Clothes… we both have too many clothes on," she panted.

"Mmm… then we better get back to my bedroom. Then we can have some fun," he enticed.

He picked her up to carry her to his bedroom, not without squeals of both delight and protest from her. Setting her back down on her feet, they ascended the stairs with agility and reached the top in record time. She took his hand in hers and headed to the bedroom where they had previously made love the night before. With their hands clasped together, Kate and Rick disappeared into the darkness of the night.

_If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks,  
__Then I'll follow you into the dark_

**A/N: Out of town for a few days. You know what would be awesome to return home to? Lots of reviews! Next few updates will be fluff. Still working on more updates... please bear with me! And thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far. They make my day. Good to know people are actually reading my story. XD**


	10. Eskimo Kisses

**Chapter 10**

Playful. That's how he made her feel. Kate wasn't usually this giggly, flirtatious person around anyone unless she was really comfortable with them. Being with Rick felt natural. She was free to be anyone she wanted to be, especially herself. He allowed her to lower the wall that had shielded her heart for so long to reveal the true Kate Beckett. Someone very few people had seen before. When was the last time she had this much fun?

Maybe that's why Kate agreed to this friends with benefits relationship. Under normal circumstances, she would never allow herself to be a part of such a sleazy liaison. But Rick was fun, and she needed some fun. Plus, it would have been too awkward to just forget that they slept together twice. The hookup would have severely injured their partnership and their relationship.

She always knew that she was attracted to him, but Kate never wanted to show it. Of course she had a thing for bad boys, and Kate had adored Richard Castle because of his books for the longest time. She never expected him to come crashing into her mundane world, once upon a freaky case. Not to mention him sticking around and writing her into his next series of novels, as the main character nonetheless. The dedication he wrote to her was the most meaningful thing someone had ever done for her.

However, because of his reputation as a playboy bachelor, Kate declared her feelings for him strictly professional. She kept him at a safe distance and pretended not to care when he kissed Kyra or went out with her friend Maddie, much to her chagrin. Inside, her green-eyed monster was fuming with jealousy but on the outside, she kept up the unfazed disposition that years of being a detective had taught her.

The poker face she developed from playing Texas Hold 'Em sure comes in handy.

So for the time being, she'd just enjoy this… whatever this is. Love the one you're with. And right now, she was with Rick, in his bed with their naked bodies intertwined between his Egyptian cotton sheets.

Kate turned to face Rick and watched him sleep. She reached up to touch his face tenderly and pressed light kisses to his lips. Rick's eyes fluttered open, a lazy smile forming on his mouth.

"Hey," he breathed.

"Morning," she smiled back at him.

"Best wakeup call ever."

Kate replied by kissing him again. They were slow, sensual kisses meant to be savored. She ended the kiss with their mouths only a breath apart and looked up into his eyes.

"Why do you wake up so early?" Rick asked.

"Hmm…" she pondered. "I guess it's just natural. I'm used to waking up early."

"Ah. It's a Kate Beckett thing."

"Yep."

"Hmm, this is only the second day of us sleeping together. And both times you were slightly intoxicated," he frowned.

"This is the third time we've slept together. Yesterday morning I wasn't tipsy."

"Well were you too drunk to know what you agreed to last night?"

"Of course not. I can hold my alcohol."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, it just loosens me up a little."

"I can tell."

"I could probably drink you under the table," she provoked.

"Is that a challenge?"

"Definitely."

"We'll have to have a competition one day. Poison of choice?"

"Tequila."

"You're a tequila girl?"

"Maybe I am. I like the burning sensation."

"Hmm… tequila makes a girl's clothes fall off. I didn't need any tequila to get your clothes off last night."

"Haha, very funny," she replied.

"Oh how I enjoy our pillow talks."

"Pillow talks?"

"Yeah. You know, we just talk about whatever when we wake up. I kind of like it."

"Pillow talks," she repeated.

"Pillow talks and cuddling."

"I do not cuddle," Kate asserted.

"And what do you call what we're doing right now?" he questioned, referring to their close proximity.

"Playful physical interactions."

"Normal people would call it cuddling."

"No cuddling. Cuddling is for couples. We are not a couple."

"Fine then," Rick pulled her close and pressed his nose to hers. "No cuddling."

She looked into his eyes as they just lay there together, holding each other close with their noses touching.

"You do that a lot," she pointed out.

"Do what?"

"Press your nose to mine."

"It's an… Eskimo kiss."

"Eskimo kiss?" she laughed.

"When you rub your nose against someone else's, it's called an Eskimo kiss. I think Eskimos started doing it because if they kiss with their mouths, they would probably freeze together because it's so cold where they live. So they settled for Eskimo kisses."

"Eskimo kiss huh? Like this?" She rubbed her nose to his and laughed.

"Learn something new every day," Rick mumbled as he reached over to cup her face and bring his lips to hers again.

"Mmm…" she moaned against his lips as he kissed her. "If you keep kissing me like this, we're never going to get out of bed."

"And what's wrong with that?" he smiled against her lips.

"Some of us actually have jobs to attend to," she sighed, breaking the kiss. "I can't be late to work again today."

"You can and you will."

"Ryan and Esposito are already suspicious of my absences."

"If they need you, they'll call. You're not the only homicide detective in New York."

"What am I supposed to tell them later?"

"Hmm… you could always tell them the truth."

"I don't want them to know that we're… sleeping together."

"Why not? Are you ashamed of me Detective Beckett?"

"Yes. You are my dirty little secret," she smirked as she trailed her fingers up and down his bare chest.

"I say you just play hooky today. Let the murderers and bad guys of New York run amuck for just one day."

"I've never spent all day in bed with someone before…"

"Then after today you can say that you have. Try something new today."

"So we're going to stay in bed all day?"

"If that's what you want."

"Let's just lie here for a while longer."

"Anything you want, snookums."

"Snookums? New rule: no pet names."

"What happened to your one rule about no rules?"

"Fine, but you're not calling me snookums."

"Buttercup?"

"No."

"Honey bun."

"No."

"Tinkerbelle."

"No!"

"Kitten."

"That's your name, isn't it?"

"Kitty-cat. Cat is kind of short for Kate."

"That's even worse."

"Sweetie, angel, baby cakes, muffin, cutie patootie?"

"Now you're just making up ridiculous names."

"Only because you're rejecting them all. How about I just call you Katie?"

She thought for a moment. "You know, my dad's the only one who calls me Katie now," she said quietly. "My mother used to, but after she died, I didn't like other people using that name for me."

"So come up with a better name."

Contemplating his offers, she decided, "I'm fine with you calling me Katie, but I get to call you… Ricky."

"Of course."

Kate leaned back into his arms and stared at the ceiling.

"Katie and Ricky," he said dreamily. "Hey, our names rhyme."

"Only if you add the 'y' at the end."

"True."

"We sound like idiots."

"Fools even."

"Even better, we can be fools together."

"See? You can rhyme too."

She giggled and nuzzled herself further into his arms. This she could definitely get used to. They had been waking up together in the morning for the past few days, and Kate was comfortable sleeping in his arms every night. Their 'pillow talks' and non-cuddling were becoming a daily routine, not that she minded. With him, she was free to be. Free to laugh uncontrollably and talk about stupid things. Free to bend the rules and write their story as they went along. Free to just let go and have some fun.

_All that I'm after is a life full of laughter  
__As long as I'm laughing with you_

**A/N: Sorry for disappearing on you for two weeks, but I bear bad news. My story is going on hiatus for a bit (no definite dates yet, but at least a month) because I need to finish up my summer homework and other things before I can focus on this fic again. I hope you enjoyed this bit of fluff (kind of OOC), because there's going to be more when I get back. Hopefully, I can find some time during the school year to write, as I have plans in mind for this fic and I just need to sort out my ideas first. See you in the fall ;)**


	11. Strawberries

**Hey guys, I'm back! (Sort of.) School's started and AP physics and AP chem are kicking my butt, which means I will have less time to write. The chapter that I am working on right now refuses to write itself... or maybe it's just writer's block. I still need to work out the plot of the rest of the fic too, haha. But I thought you guys deserved an update because I took a month-long hiatus. Future updates will be slow, but bear with me! Hope you like this chapter :).**

**Chapter 11**

Kate was in the mood for a movie, which is what led her to the extensive DVD collection that she was currently sitting in front of and examining. Rick had every movie she had ever heard of, and then some. The only movies she had at home were old Disney classics, a favorite genre of hers. She was particularly fond of "Anastasia" and "Cinderella." They reminded her of her childhood, a time when ignorance was bliss, when she could believe in fairytales and happily ever afters. While thoroughly searching the myriad of DVDs, Kate stumbled on a copy of "The Sting," which happened to be her favorite con movie. Satisfied with her choice, she presented her selection to Rick.

"Want to watch a movie?" she offered.

Glancing at the DVD in her hand, he looked confused. "I thought you hated con movies?"

"Either I am an amazing liar or you can't read me as well as you think you can. I love con movies. 'The Sting' happens to be my favorite," Kate smiled widely.

"Mine too. Pop it in and I'll go make some popcorn."

"Okay" she said sweetly.

A sepia-toned Universal Pictures globe lit up the flat screen, accompanied by a catchy piano tune. Rick, whistling along with "The Entertainer," entered the living room after popping the popcorn. Setting the big bowl on the table, he sat down next to Kate on the plush couch.

"You know, I don't like being fooled," he said with an upset frown.

"What are you going to do about it?" she mocked.

A devilish grin spread across his face. "I think you deserve some punishment."

He promptly took her by the hips and tickled her sides, a spot where she was particularly ticklish. With limbs kicking in all directions, she grappled to escape his grasp, but he had a strong hold on her. Her protests were mixed with laughter as she tried to get him to stop.

"Apples, apples!" Kate cried.

Rick wouldn't relent. "That's my safeword," he teased. "You need to get your own."

More peals of laughter escaped her lips as she struggled to find a suitable word.

"Stop!" she pleaded. "Fine, cherries!"

He laughed right alongside her. "Your new safeword is cherries?"

Her laughter subsided, leaving her with a heaving chest.

"That's the only word I could think of. Not funny!" she pushed him back.

"Apples and cherries are our safewords. Interesting combination."

She pouted and stuck her tongue out at him. Kate tried to return her breathing back to normal, but as she took a deep breath, a _hic_ interrupted her respiration. A confused expression crossed her face. _Hic, hic, hic_.

"Now look what you _hic_ did. You gave me the _hic_ hiccups!" she exclaimed.

He couldn't help but laugh at how cute she was when she got exasperated. "You are adorable when you hiccup."

"You… ugh!" she pushed him and tried to stand up to get a glass of water.

Rick stopped her from getting up. When she turned to face him, he looked her directly in the eye. Placing his hands on either side of her face, he kissed her deeply. The hiccups lasted for a few more moments, but after a while they stopped. They parted, and Kate opened her eyes.

"What was that for?" she breathed.

"I think kissing is supposed to cure hiccups. Either that or scaring the person, but I don't think you scare easily. Cops see scary stuff on a daily basis. Plus, I like kissing you."

"Hmm, you're right. About the first bit."

"Aren't I always?"

She rolled her eyes and rotated her body to face the screen.

"Well it worked didn't it?" he said into her ear.

The tickle fight had left Kate sitting in his lap to watch the movie. Rick shifted their bodies to lie down on the couch, stretching his legs across the seat with her body on top of his. Her head rested just below his, against his chest, listening to the steady _thump-thump_ of his heartbeat. She reached over to the table to grab the bowl popcorn. Rick snaked his arms around her waist and she munched on the salty snack. Kate then turned her attention to the screen and frowned, as they missed the first few scenes of the movie. "Hey, you made me miss their first con!"

"Plenty more where that came from. The rest of the movie is all about setting up and executing a big con."

"I know, I know. I've seen this movie at least 5 times, but I never get tired of it. Classic pinstripe suits and slicked back hair, what's not to love? And everyone seems to have a fedora hat and an accent."

"I like the twist at the end. The whole elaborate scheme. Makes me consider becoming a con man."

"It's not that easy now of days. People aren't as gullible and cops are actually competent, not corrupted."

"So I settled for writing about the twisted plots. And murders."

The movie continued playing, passing the scene where the secret signal, a swipe of the nose, originated. Kate was utterly engrossed in the movie, while Rick's focus was elsewhere. He pressed kisses on her shoulder and up and down her neck while occasionally taking a whiff of her hair. The sweet scent tickled his nose.

"You're not paying attention to the movie," Kate scolded.

"Yes I am. This is the train scene with Lonnegan."

The movie shifted to a train car with the main antagonist and the rest of his business friends sitting around a poker table.

"Now that's a bad guy persona," Rick commented. "Dark hair, never smiles, and that mustache. All the makings of a classic bad guy."

"I love this part," Kate announced. "I think this is what first sparked my interest in poker. After watching this movie, my dad taught me how to play 5 card draw and Texas Hold 'Em."

They watched the rest of the movie in relative silence, only a comment here and there from either party. The final twist in the plot played through, and the team successfully conned their mark out of half a million. As the credits rolled, Kate leaned back to stretch and yawn. By the time the film ended, it was well past midnight.

"Do you know what I'm craving right now?" Kate asked aloud. "Chocolate covered strawberries. They're my favorite dessert."

"Not that many places are open at this late hour… Who would sell chocolate covered strawberries at midnight?"

"Too bad. I could really use a midnight snack. And I don't really feel like making them because it takes too long."

Rick thought for a moment. "I have an idea. Why don't we go to a 24/7 supermarket?"

Not bothering to change out of their pajamas, Rick and Kate headed out the door. Since it was nearing summer, it was warm outside, perfect for a late night walk. The quiet sidewalks were devoid of people, so Rick took this opportunity to hold her hand, a public display of affection that she would normally not allow. He grinned sheepishly when Kate looked at him with a frown of fake annoyance, but she let it slide this time.

They went to the closest grocery store that was open 24 hours a day to pick up some items. Strolling through the deserted aisles hand in hand, they ventured to the produce section. Kate picked out a nice container of fresh strawberries that met her standards. Rick led her to the ice cream aisle to grab a bottle of Hershey's chocolate syrup from the ice cream toppings area.

"Seriously? Chocolate syrup?" she asked.

"It's just as good as normal chocolate. Makes for a suitable substitution. Very quick and easy to make."

At the self-checkout counter, they paid for their goods and left.

Back at the apartment, they divided up the task at hand. Kate took over the cutting because she didn't trust Rick with a knife. Even after the case with the mummy and the Mayan curse, he still managed to injure himself with a knife while cutting tomatoes. Proves how handy he can be with sharp objects. While Rick washed each strawberry, Kate cut out the leaves on the top and sliced the fruit into halves. When all was prepped and ready, she brought the plate of strawberries and he brought the bottle of syrup to the counter.

Squeezing the chocolate out of the bottle onto the strawberries, he offered her the first taste. He fed her the dessert and she gladly accepted it. Relishing the sweet sensation that bombarded her senses, Kate let out a moan.

"Mmm... these are delicious! You were right. Just as good as the real thing."

"There's chocolate on your mouth…"

Rick used his thumb to wipe the side of her mouth.

"Thank you," she laughed as she picked up another strawberry.

"Your turn."

Kate inverted the bottle to cover the strawberry in chocolate, but it overflowed and trickled down onto her fingers. Not minding the sticky liquid, she fed the confection to Rick. He held her wrist to stop her hand from retreating. Holding her gaze, he seductively sucked the chocolate from her fingers.

"Mmmm, this is absolutely heavenly."

"By far the best strawberries I've ever had."

They took turns feeding each other the remaining strawberries, generously pouring chocolate sauce over each one. As Rick fed Kate the last slice, chocolate dribbled down her lips.

"You have a little chocolate there…"

Instead of wiping it this time, he pressed his lips to hers to clean up the chocolate.

"Mmm, you taste sweet."

"You taste sweet too."

Kate licked her fingers clean of the chocolate syrup. "Hmm. We should probably clean all this up."

Rick wiped off the counter as Kate picked up the plate and bottle of syrup. She placed the plate in the sink and moved towards the fridge to put the syrup away. But before she did, she hesitated in front of the refrigerator. An idea popped into her head. With a wickedly sly smile, she walked over to where Rick was. Standing behind him she whispered in his ear, "You know, I can think of a few more things we can do with this chocolate syrup."

He turned around with an incredulous look plastered on his face. Kate just laughed at his loss for words.

"Come on, let's go."

She stood on her tippy toes to kiss him one more time before leading him upstairs into his room.

_I'm falling even more in love with you  
Letting go of all I've held onto_

**A/N: As research for this chapter, I actually watched The Sting. Awesome movie! I hope you don't think Kate is too OOC or this is too much fluff. She's just having some fun (: And seriously. Try some chocolate syrup covered strawberries. They're delicious!**


	12. Poker

**Chapter 12**

**A/N: First of all, I am SO sorry for disappearing on you guys! I've been focusing on school and haven't found time to write (and I've had a case of writer's block…). My original intention was to write this fic in real time (so the seasons and time match up with the fic), but obviously that did not happen. I've had some time to write this past week because we've had 4 snow days due to the snow storm (I live in the south and we just can't handle icy roads). So I hope you guys enjoy this update! (It's one of my favorites). Again, sorry for not updating in 4-5 months… I will try to write more often. Thank you to everyone who is sticking with this fic and commenting. I promise I'll make it worth your time.**

**WARNING: This fic's rating has been updated to M. If you do not like smut, skip the last portion of this chapter. (By the way, this is my first attempt at writing smut. Please comment, as it will affect future chapters. Basically, if you like it, there will be more smut ;D.)**

Stepping out of the glass-enclosed shower stall, Kate felt refreshed. Rejuvenated, even. This past week with Rick was absolutely phenomenal. Sure, he annoyed the hell out of her day in and day out, but it was all in good nature, the teasing and banter that they exchanged. The only time they really fought was when he dug into her mother's case, against her firmly stated wishes, which left them nearly ending their partnership for good. But when Rick gave her the sincerest of apologies, she had no other choice than to let him back in. And now, she wondered just how far in she had let him.

It scared her, thinking about how dependent she had become on him. Kate was by no means a needy person, but she couldn't imagine her life without him. Rick made her life fun. He knew how to push her buttons, but not to push the envelope too far. He cared about her. She may not know just how much he cared about her, but she knew he did. It was nice having someone to take care of her, to look out for her, and just to know her. So what was stopping her from being with him?

Fear. She dealt with the lowliest, scummiest, most miserable examples of human life on a daily basis, and she was scared of this? Of falling in love? How pathetic.

But it was the truth. She was scared to fall in love, with Rick Castle nonetheless, playboy extraordinaire. It wasn't just him; it was the both of them. She was emotionally stunted, especially after what Will had done to her, toying with her fragile heart. After a succession of seemingly good relationships turned south, Kate had built up a wall to surround her heart, vowing to never let anyone in again. Then along comes Rick Castle, tearing down said wall, brick by brick, little by little, breaking her. But she refused to be broken.

She was the one in control of this "relationship," defining the terms and setting the boundaries. Kate knew that if she gave him the word, Rick would tell the whole world that they were together, proudly displaying her on his arm. Problem is, she wasn't his "arm candy" and she didn't know if she wanted to "be with him" yet. They were a separate he and she for now, but he so desperately wanted to be a "them."

So why was she afraid? Many reasons. What if he didn't feel the same way about her? What if she invested her whole heart into this, and he broke it? What if, in the future, he got tired of her and moved on to the next newest model, say, a pretty blonde girl that caught his eye? What if their relationship didn't work out and she lost him as a partner? But what if it did work out? What then? This was the scenario that scared her the most: what if he was her one and done?

Shaking her head, in effect, to shake out the thoughts conflicting in her mind, she sighed. _Kate, you're over thinking everything. It's just sex._ A small voice in her head just _had_ to add in its two cents: _for now_.

Just sex. That should be an oxymoron. There's nothing as simple as "just sex." There's strings attached, feelings involved, the chance to discover and create something new. God, she was stressing herself out thinking about all of this. Why not just relax and have some fun? She learned that letting go and just being herself around him made everything easier. He was a good stress reliever. And so was the sex, which, interestingly enough, releases endorphins, a neurochemical that is responsible for relaxing the body. That fact was courtesy of Rick and his encyclopedia of random tidbits of information.

Brushing away these pressing matters, Kate smiled. She found herself doing that a lot around him. That was one of the things she lov—liked about him. He made her smile. She pulled one of Rick's t-shirts over her head and slipped on a pair of his sweatpants. Tying the string on the grey sweats as tightly as possible, she still had to fold the waistband over a few times to make the pants stay on her waist without falling off. She loved wearing his clothes because they were comfy and they smelled like him. They were loose and baggy, but she decided she liked the fit. There's nothing worse than wearing uncomfortable, tight-fitting clothes at home or to sleep, so she opted to wear his clothes as pajamas. Discarding her work attire into the laundry basket, she padded down the stairs and saw Rick on the couch, reading a book.

Walking over to the sofa, she stood behind it and leaned over to see what he was reading. Rick took notice of Kate's presence and lowered his book to look at her. He placed a chaste kiss on her cheek and smiled. "Mmm, you smell like… a flowery shampoo," he said as he sniffed her hair. "And you're wearing my clothes."

"Yeah, I hope you don't mind."

"Of course not. I like seeing you in my clothes…"

"I like them better than my pajamas."

"Feel free to borrow anything you want anytime."

"Hmm, thank you," she said, moving around to the front of the couch. Rick outstretched his arm to welcome her and Kate accepted the invitation by sitting close to him. "Aren't you supposed to host your weekly poker game tonight with your fellow writers?" she asked, leaning her head on his shoulder and placing her hand on his chest.

"Nah, Stephen's in California and Cannel's on tour. My Gotham city crew's too busy with work or other stuff to play poker tonight. Too bad," he shrugged.

A thought suddenly popped into her mind. "I'll play with you," she proposed. Thinking about what she had just said, Kate's eyebrows furrowed. "Wow. That sounded a lot dirtier than I meant it."

Rick laughed at her unintentional double entendre and set aside the novel he was reading. "You're on. What are we playing for? Money? Gummy bears? Pride?"

"You choose."

"Clothes it is."

"Strip poker?" Kate asked incredulously.

"Yep. You said I could choose."

"That wasn't an option."

"Well now I'm making it one."

"No way," Kate declared.

"Chicken, are we?" Rick taunted.

"What are you, five?" she said sarcastically, doing one of her signature eye rolls.

"You're just scared of losing."

Feeling her pride in question, Kate's competitive edge took over, forcing her to accept the challenge.

"Fine. I'll play. But be warned, I'm extremely competitive."

"All the best players are."

They moved to the poker table and Rick brought out a large, silver suitcase from the nearby cabinet. He and Kate sat in adjacent seats and she took the crisp deck of bicycle cards, shuffling them thoroughly in an expertly perfected bridge. Rick handled the chips, taking out a few stacks and closing the suitcase again.

Setting the deck back on the table Kate asked, "What's the game?"

"Texas Hold 'Em," Rick answered, counting out poker chips.

"Rules?"

He slid a set of multi-colored chips over to her. "We'll play like normal Hold 'Em with poker chips, but you can raise to a truth, dare, clothes, or super dare if you want. Truths and dares are self-explanatory. If you raise to clothes, it's one article of clothing for that bet, but you can double it if you want. Super dares are of the highest betting value. They cannot be denied. The loser _has_ to complete the super dare."

Thinking over the rules, she said "deal," both accepting his terms and instructing him to deal the cards.

Rick dealt out two cards for her and two cards for himself. Tossing two chips into the center, he lifted his cards to see his hand. Kate bent her cards up so only she could view them. Pair of tens on the first hand.

"Call," she said, tossing a chip into the pot to call the blind.

The first three community cards were dealt. Four, two, nine. Kate had the highest pair on the table, so she decided to raise.

"Raise to $20," she decided, throwing two more chips into the pile.

Glancing at his cards one more time, Rick saw that he almost had a straight, with a six and a three in his hand. All he needed was a five. He decided to call.

The top card in the deck was burned, and Rick dealt the next card. Ten of clubs. Kate hit trips on the turn, so she continued to raise.

"Raise to $60 and a truth."

Seeing as there would be one more community card, Rick still had the chance to hit a straight.

"Call," he said, with a resolute glint in his eye.

The last card for this round was dealt, a jack of spades. This didn't help either of them, so they both checked. Rick sighed internally, for he didn't get his straight.

"Pocket tens, baby!" Kate said triumphantly, flipping over her cards. "That makes trips!"

"Almost had a straight," Rick admitted in defeat. "It seems that I owe you a truth, Detective."

"You do. Hmmm," she thought. "How many women have you slept with?"

He thought about the question for a moment. "How much less of me would you think if I said I didn't know?" he asked ashamedly.

She sighed dejectedly. "Hmm, figures."

"When Meredith cheated, it really broke me," he admitted, clearly wounded. "I started sleeping around, just to ease the pain. I was fresh off my first few best-sellers, and I didn't really know how to handle the fame. Women were flocking themselves at me, so I just went along with it. It was fun for a while, but I realized that what I really wanted was a committed relationship. And after ending things Gina, I haven't really slept around much. Just the occasional one when I need to satisfy my needs," he said, referring to Ellie Monroe. "I'm only human," he finished as he dealt the next hand.

"Oh," Kate said. "I didn't know… thanks for being so honest with me."

"That's why they call it a truth," Rick gave her a small smile.

They played three more rounds in which Rick won back the $60 he lost from the first hand. He dealt another hand and put chips into the pot as the big blind. "I'm determined to make you lose some clothes," he smirked. Rick took a peek at his cards, seeing an ace and a ten, both hearts.

Kate looked at her own hand and saw an eight and a nine, off suit. She called the blind.

The community cards came out: three of hearts, eight of clubs, nine of hearts. Kate hit a two pair, right off the flop.

Rick checked, as he had nothing on the flop.

"Raise to a truth," Kate stated, feeling ambitious.

To see the next community cards, Rick called.

The following card came out as a three of clubs. Even if Rick had an eight or a nine, Kate would still have the higher two pair with her eight's and nine's. But if he had a three, his trips would beat her two pair. Mentally calculating this, she decided to check. Rick still had nothing in his hand, so he checked.

A queen of hearts came out on the river. Rick had a flush, ace high, while Kate only had a two pair. The queen didn't help her hand, because if Rick had a queen, his queen's and three's would beat her eight's and nine's. Rick knew his hand was the best one on the table and raised to clothes.

Contemplating his betting style, Kate thought he was bluffing so that he could win a dare. She decided to call, moderately confident in her two pair.

"Eight's and nine's," she said, revealing her hand.

Nonchalantly, Rick flipped over his own cards. "Ace high heart flush."

"Ugh," she groaned. "I thought you were bluffing."

"Too bad. Now you have to strip. One article of clothing."

Kate crisscrossed her hands over her belly to reach the bottom hem of Rick's maroon-colored shirt that she was currently wearing. Pulling off the t-shirt she had just put on barely two hours ago, she revealed a solid red bra.

"I'll get you out of your clothes first," she determined, tossing aside his shirt.

Rick appreciatively appraised her bare skin, longing to kiss every inch of it. Kate could feel his eyes raking over her half-clothed body, but she was too focused on winning the next hand to pay much attention to his wandering eyes. Distractedly, Rick dealt the next hand, his eyes fixed on her flawless physique.

With a cursory glance at her hand, Kate quickly raised to a truth.

In return, Rick called and dealt out the flop. Queen of spades, ace of spades, five of clubs.

These were great cards for Kate, as she had a nine and five of spades. She had a pair and the opportunity to get a flush on the turn or river. "Raise to a dare."

Rick called, just to stay in this betting round.

The next card dealt was a six of diamonds. Kate checked, as the six didn't help her hand. Looking at his cards again, Rick saw that he had an open-ended straight. All he needed was a nine or four to make a straight with his seven and eight. He raised to a dare. Kate called.

Burning the top card on the deck, Rick dealt out the final community card. Five of hearts. Not wanting to lose the hand, Rick decided to bluff. "Raise to clothes."

Since she hit trips on the turn, Kate chose to re-raise. "I'll double that bet. Two articles of clothing."

Damn. She called his bluff. Reluctantly, Rick called and showed his cards. "Nothing," he revealed.

"Three fives," Kate grinned. "Time to strip down, writer boy," she gloated.

"Hey, I don't mind. The fun of strip poker is that even when you lose, you win," he winked.

Rick stood up and took off his shirt and pants, leaving him wearing only a pair of plaid blue boxers. "Like what you see?" he tempted, striking a pose. Kate smiled and reveled in her victory. She skimmed over his barely clothed body, enjoying the view.

As the night progressed, they played a few more rounds, betting small amounts. Kate only lost her sweatpants, while Rick lost a truth and Kate made him tell his wildest, kinkiest dream. Rummaging through the plethora of imaginative scenarios stored in his brain, his imagination drew up the most fantastic of fantasies.

"I have quite a few that involve you actually, scantily clad in various outfits, seducing me in public places. Your Russian accent is especially sexy," he said, imagining her in his fantasy. "There's one in particular where we're at a billiards hall and you're wearing _the sexiest_ red dress that makes your legs go on forever. God, and you lean over to take a shot and I swear, it's the hottest thing I've ever seen…" his eyes glazed over in lust.

"Huh. I half expected you to say something along the lines of S&M or even a threesome," she snorted, waking him up from his fantasy.

"No way, I'd never want to share you. Although, I wouldn't mind leather. And I wouldn't be opposed to you using your handcuffs either," he said suggestively. Kate rolled her eyes, slightly embarrassed yet flattered that he fantasized about her like that.

In the very next hand, Kate lost a dare, and Rick dared her to fulfill one of his dreams. She seized the opportunity to tempt him.

"You know, I would… I even have a red dress just like the one you described to me. Red pumps to match it too," she leaned dangerously close to him, feeling his warm breath on her skin. His eyes were the size of the moon, entranced by her gaze. "Mmm, you could even fuck me against one of the pool tables…" She inched her hand up his thigh, feeling a hard bulge at the apex of his thighs. Their lips came so close to touching, but at the last instant she pulled away. "But too bad we're not at a billiards hall. And besides, it's getting late. We haven't even bet any super dares."

"God, why do you have to tease me like that?"

"It's not teasing if we're going to have sex later."

"Hot, dirty sex?"

"If you play your cards right," she winked at him. "One last hand. And let's make it interesting," Kate determined.

Rick dealt out the last hand with a groan. He was using all of his self restraint to not take her right there and then, but his strength was dwindling. She looked incredibly sexy, wearing only a red, lacy bra and matching panties. Kate wanted him badly too, but she wanted to bet a super dare in the last hand.

Checking her cards furtively, Kate saw two kings in her hand. Pair of cowboys. This was going to be good.

"Raise to a truth."

Rick looked at his own cards. Pair of ladies. This was the best pocket hand he'd had the whole night, so he chose to re-raise, seeing as it was the last hand they were playing.

"Re-raise to a dare."

His raise surprised her, and she inferred that he must have a good pocket hand. Nothing, save for pocket aces, would top her pocked kings so she raised him again.

"Raise to clothes," she said, looking him directly in the eye.

A small betting war started up, each raising higher than the other, until they were at the highest of the betting values: a super dare. This technically constitutes as being "all in," so they revealed their hands before the community cards were dealt.

Rick flipped over his cards, pocket queens. Kate smirked and turned over hers: pocket kings. He was in a losing position, but still moved to deal the community cards, hoping for some miraculous save.

The first card came out, seven of spades. No help there. Ace of diamonds. It was a battle of the higher pair so far. Seven of clubs. Now two pair, but that didn't make much of a difference. Seven of hearts. That made for a full house, Kate's still beating his. Sighing in defeat, he dealt the last card.

Seven of diamonds.

Quads.

There's a 0.024% chance of quads being dealt.

And he just dealt four sevens.

The highest hand was in the community cards: quad sevens and an ace kicker.

Which meant... he didn't lose. It was a split pot.

"Quad sevens," he said, stunned. "We get to split the pot. A super dare for each of us…"

"I know exactly what I want you to do for me, _Ricky_…" Kate purred. She stood up and straddled Rick in his chair. With her hands by either side of his head against the chair's backrest, she looked down at him with lusty eyes and whispered a husky voice. "I want you," she murmured. "To take me. Against the kitchen counter. And fuck me _hard_."

Their lips met with an insatiable need, fueled by craving and want, kissing each other with an unequaled force akin only to desire. All that lust and longing had cumulated to this point, the breaking point, and that metaphorical dam was about to burst to release a tidal wave of unrestrained passion. They were breathless in seconds; only the physical need for oxygen could tear them apart.

He placed his hands firmly on her hips and stood up, picking her up with him. She yelped at the sudden movement, but gained her balance and hooked her ankles behind him for support. She wrapped her hands around his neck to bring him closer, as their mouths fused together once again. He kissed her passionately like he's never kissed anyone else, with the entirety of his being, giving himself all to her.

They stumbled haphazardly into the kitchen, their lips never leaving the others' for a moment. Kate ran her hands through his dark brown hair, feeling the fine locks slip through her fingers. He pushed her against the island in the middle of the kitchen, his expert hands sliding up her back, seamlessly undoing the clasps of her bra. Letting the lacy piece fall to the floor, he took one nipple into his mouth, sucking, biting, and teasing it gently, all the while using his fingers to satisfy its twin peak.

Kate threw her head back in a wanton moan, encouraging Rick's pleasurable ministrations. He kissed her soft flesh, in between her breasts, up to her collarbone, and up her neck, lingering on a sensitive spot there.

"God Kate," he breathed. "You're so sexy."

His hardened member was already straining against the cotton of his boxers, but he wanted to please her first. Hooking his fingers above the fringe of her panties, he dragged them down and pulled them off her, leaving her completely naked. He could feel the heat of her core emanating from her body, already dripping wet in anticipation of what was to come.

"Already so wet for me, Katie?"

"Mmmm… what can I say? You turn me on."

He inserted a finger into her slick folds, rhythmically pumping into her, enjoying the way her body reacted to his touch. It felt good to be in control. During the day at work, Kate Beckett was always in charge: of her team, of the case, of him. But at night, their roles switched. He was on top, more literally than metaphorically, and she let him have control over her. And he took good care of her. He had learned all the intimate details of her body and used this knowledge to satisfy her thoroughly every night. He always put her needs before his, giving her the release that she so desperately needed.

Rick slipped another finger into her, increasing the tempo he was going at. Simultaneously rubbing her clit, he skillfully pumped his fingers into her, striving for the maximum amount of pleasure he could provide. She was already losing a grip on reality, her mind fogging and slipping into ecstasy. Moaning and writhing, Kate could only form one coherent word in her mind: _Rick_.

She cried out for more, and he gladly acquiesced. Thrusting a final finger into her, Rick sped up his motions even more, furiously pleasuring her with his fingers. It wasn't long until Kate came, hard, screaming his name loudly.

"Oh god, Rick," she moaned. Her juices flowed freely as she climaxed into his hand. After she finished riding out the waves of her orgasm, Rick pulled his fingers out of her.

"It is the sexiest thing in the world when you come," he said, kissing her once more.

He was met with a muffled protest. Breathlessly, she broke the kiss and looked at him, her eyes fully dilated and dark with desire.

"I need you Rick," she panted. "Inside me. Please."

"Anything for you, Katie."

Promptly discarding his boxers, Rick took out a condom from his wallet and rolled it on quickly. He took his length in hand and positioned it at her entrance. Slowly pushing into her, they both moaned at the carnal sensation of completion. As he entered her further, Kate leaned back to put her hands on the counter, bracing herself as she accommodated his size.

When he filled her to the hilt, he paused to look at her. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

"Rick, god. I need you to move."

At her request, he pulled out of her almost all the way and then slammed back into her. Repeating this process, he thrust into her over and over again, speeding up his pace and slamming into her harder and harder. He grunted as he rammed into her, using her hips to steady his movements. Kate had to grip the counter in order to absorb the force of his thrusts.

A fine sheen of sweat was already beginning to form on both of their bodies, as they moved in sync with each other, against the kitchen counter. Rick couldn't think about anything other than her, how good it felt to be with her, to make love to her. How damn _right_ it felt.

With every thrust, he hit just the right spot, and she moaned loudly. A mixture of pain and pleasure bombarded her senses as he continued to pound into her.

"Harder, Rick," she barely managed to croak out.

Hearing her scream his name was motivation enough to make him want to fuck her harder, and as she asked for it, he gave it to her. Rick kissed her as he sped up his movements. Now pumping into her with vigorous speed, both Rick and Kate were on the brink of climaxing. He could already feel her body starting to tremble, as she was pushed further and closer to the edge.

"Fuck, Rick. I'm so close."

"Come for me, Katie," he said in between grunts and moans.

A few more thrusts sent her over the proverbial edge, coming for the second time that night. The feeling of her walls clenching down on him was enough to send him over the edge too, as he came with her, spilling himself into her.

They came down from their respective highs, panting and gasping for breaths. He slipped out of her but kept them in the same position, as he wasn't ready to move. His mind was still reeling from the unbelievable sex. Leaning his forehead against hers, he opened his eyes and gave a faint laugh.

"That was…" he began.

"Too good for words," she finished.

Chuckling, she pressed her lips to his, bringing her hands up to his cheeks to kiss him deeper. They broke apart, each sighing softly. Kate wrapped her arms around his neck again to bring him close.

"C'mon, let's head upstairs," she grinned.

Rick pouted childishly. "But I didn't get my super dare."

"What could possibly top that?"

"Hmm… I could think of a few things. Are you opposed to role playing?"

She smirked at his puerile remarks. "Can't your super dare wait?"

"Fine then. How about a rain check?"

"Sure."

"I want it written on paper and signed. Like a coupon."

Kate reached over for a post-it pad and a pen, quickly scribbling on it and signing her name.

"A signed, single-use-only coupon for a super dare. Use it wisely." She presented it to him and he quickly snatched it out of her fingers.

"Oh, I will."

"Nothing illegal."

"We'll see."

"Now let's go upstairs. The night's festivities are not over yet."

"Not in the slightest," he smirked, picking her up and carrying her upstairs to his bedroom where they proceeded to make love with each other till the wee hours of the morning.

_I feel like a hero, and you are my heroine  
Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin_


	13. Awake

**Chapter 13**

Kate awoke that morning with the security and warmth of Rick's arms wrapped around her waist, a position that she had grown increasingly used to over the past few days. He was spooning her, with his nose buried in her hair, subconsciously inhaling the sweet aroma. She loved being so close to him, intimate in every way. He knew her, her likes and dislikes, her fears, and bits of her past that haunted her. He was the only one that she had let in, slowly, revealing more of herself to him with every passing day. He knew how she ticked, what made her work, when to push and when to step back and let her have her space. He knew how to get underneath her skin and irritate her like none other, yet when it came to her mother's case, she couldn't imagine having anyone else around. He knew how to dig and dig and get answers, but that's because he cared and wanted to know everything about her.

Even though Kate Beckett was a tough nut to crack, Rick Castle was able to chip away pieces of her hardened exterior to reveal the beautiful jewel that lay beneath. He knew more about her than others did because he was the only one who took the time to poke and prod around in her life, despite her adamant efforts to keep everyone out.

She wondered what the past two years would have been like if she hadn't met him. The biggest difference Kate could think of was laughter. She would have had a lot less laughter in her life if she didn't have him around. Sure, she could have solved her cases by herself-she was plenty capable of that. Kate got along just fine before Rick Castle came into her life and upset the balance of things. But just knowing him made her a different person. When she was with him, she let her guard down. Kate embraced her inner child and just had some good old fun with him.

There were the serious times too. He was her lifeline. The one who saved her when she delved too far in to the cases she worked on. When her world was crumbling around her, he was her support, her stronghold. He pulled her out of the darkness that she faced on a daily basis, in the world of death and grisly murders. A darkness that threatened to consume her whole if she didn't have someone to lean on.

He was deeply embedded in her heart, deeper than she let on to. She needed him so much, which is what scared her the most.

Kate felt the steady rise and fall of his chest against her back with every breath he took. He was here, now, and she wanted to keep it that way. But what if he wanted more? She wasn't ready to give him more. She wanted everything to stay the way it was currently. Kate never really liked change. Big change. She wasn't able to adapt as well as some others, mostly because she felt like she couldn't be in control of her life when everything was changing. Maybe it was time to change herself. Instead of always being a control freak, she could go where ever life took her. Where the wind blows.

She never really was the footloose type, though. After her mother's death, the biggest change of her life, Kate decided that she had to take control. Or else everything would start falling apart.

Everything had been going perfectly before he showed up. He disturbed the peace, interfering with the equilibrium of things. Yet somehow, with his boyish charm and ruggedly handsome looks, Rick Castle had gotten her to like him.

That was the power he had over her. The power to break her heart. Kate knew that if she lost him, she would be absolutely devastated. With each passing day that they spent together, she became more attached to him. As they grew closer, she realized how much he meant to her. There was more on the line. More at stake. She was falling for him quickly, which was terrifying to her.

Now would be a good time to distance herself from him, before she got too invested and couldn't live without him. But she couldn't bring herself to do it. She couldn't bring herself to break things off with him because their friendship and partnership would surely suffer. She didn't want to lose him as a friend or a partner. And she was probably already in too deep.

Kate glanced at the clock and her eyes fell on a glint of silver. Rick stirred slightly as she reached over to the nightstand to pick up her mother's ring. When she relaxed back into his arms, he instinctively pulled her closer. Kate played with the long silver chain that held the sacred memento, twirling it around her index finger, as she felt a familiar ache in her heart.

Her mother. Kate missed her every day.

It had been over a decade since she lost her mother, yet the pain had not eased. Kate always feared that she might one day forget what she looked like or how her voice sounded, which is why she cherished her old family photos and home videos. Sometimes, on particularly painful days, Kate would pull out those tapes and re-watch them, just to hear the sound of her mother's voice.

In the first few years after her mother's death, there was a mix of grief, anger, resentment, and despair. She was reckless with her life, not really caring or valuing anything at all. Looking back on those difficult times, Kate knew that she should've been more careful with her life. It was a natural response to her loss, but it could have ruined the rest of her life. Things changed when her father slipped into alcoholism. It was a startling wake-up call for her. She couldn't lose him too.

Kate straightened up and joined the academy while making sure that her father stayed sober. It was a time of rehabilitation for the both of them. They moved on and tried to stay strong, but Kate didn't want to forget. She took every opportunity to remember her mother, digging into her case file, looking for something that everyone else had overlooked. She was on the brink of obsession; every spare moment was spent investigating her mother's case.

Soon enough, her colleagues could see that it was eating her alive. As a result of their concern, she was forced into therapy to let go of her past. Ten months of psycho-analyzation and catharses helped her tame and purge her overwhelming emotions, but deep inside, there was still a burning desire to catch the bastards who killed her mother. It fueled her passion as a detective, seeking justice for every person who lost a loved one just as she did. It's the least they deserve.

Rick gently kissed the top of her head, indicating that he was awake. She turned to face him, giving him a weak smile. He could see the sadness in her eyes, where there usually was so much happiness when she was with him.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly.

She exhaled a burdened sigh. "Just thinking..." she said, her eyes downcast while she thoughtfully fiddled with the necklace.

"About your mother?"

She nodded in confirmation. Rick moved his hand to her face, tucking stray tufts of hair behind her ear. "I think about her every day," she whispered to him. "There's so much in life that I feel like I've missed out on. There's so much that I'll never be able to share with her."

After a few moments in silence, she asked him, "Do you ever feel like you missed out? Because you never had a father figure when growing up?"

"I never had the father-son catch games and I didn't have anyone to talk about sports with, but I wouldn't say that I missed out terribly. When I was a kid, I liked to imagine that my father was an astronaut or a world class surgeon. Something exotic or extremely important. He could be anything I imagined. Of course, I would have liked to have had a father in my life, but that's just the hand I was dealt."

"So you're fatherless and I'm motherless. Join the lost parent club."

"I don't blame my mother for doing what she did. It's who Martha is, a free spirited actress. She kept me and raised me, and hey, I think I turned out okay," he smiled.

She chuckled softly. "You know, what we're doing isn't much different from what Martha did."

"What do you mean?" he questioned.

"Just sleeping with random people..."

Rick frowned. "We're not random people. I know you. I care about you." He caressed her cheek with his hand. "And if I got you pregnant, I would be around to help you raise our child."

Kate's eyes widened at his response as she backed away in surprise. "We're not talking about children."

"I know," he laughed at her defensiveness. "Sorry. Too early?"

"We're not even technically together as a couple."

Rick sighed. He really should do something about that.

"But..." she sighed as she moved back closer to him, "While we're on the subject, is Alexis okay with this? With me living here and you know... us?" she gestured between them.

"Um... She doesn't know yet."

"Rick..." Kate warned.

"You don't have anything to worry about. She already likes you and looks up to you."

"We're supposed to be setting a good example for her. Me moving in and sleeping with you is not being a good role model." Kate frowned.

"Hey, she knows that we're both consenting adults and that we've know each other for a while."

"Still..." she sighed.

"Relax, it will be fine. I promise."

Kate stopped and thought for a moment. "Fine," she pouted, moving closer to him. Rick wrapped his arms around her as she rested her head on his shoulder.

Kate continued to toy with her mother's wedding band while Rick played with her hair and softly kissed her head. He pressed his lips to her temple, slowly feathering kisses down her cheek and jaw line. He used his fingers to tilt her chin up to look at him and brushed a kiss to her lips. God, she loved the way he kissed her. It was gentle yet meaningful, soft but passionate. He kissed her lazily, tenderly tasting her lips and relishing the moment.

Her eyes fluttered open as he pulled away. Smiling delicately, Kate bit her lip and watched him. Rick closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, taking in her delicious scent. When he opened his eyes, they were face to face, noses barely touching. He reached out to graze her cheek with his fingers, tracing the contours of her face. As they held each other's gaze for a silent moment, time seemed to stop, just for them.

"Tell me about her," Rick whispered. "Your mother. You should remember all the good times instead of dwelling on the pain. I don't want you to hurt any more, Katie."

She smiled at the endearment and his genuine concern. "It's always going to be a little bit painful to think about. I've accepted it, but that doesn't mean I don't miss her."

Kate reminisced on her favorite childhood memories. Cooking and baking with her mother, decorating the house and wrapping presents on Christmas, family vacations...

"She was a storyteller," Kate began. "Just like you. Every night when I was in elementary school, she would read to me out of a big book of fables and stories. She also was an amazing chef and baker. Most of my skills come from helping her out in the kitchen. We loved baking cakes and brownies together to give to friends and neighbors for any occasion. Especially during Christmas. It was her favorite time of year. We had a lot of traditions together, like decorating the tree, ice skating at the Rockefeller center, and caroling."

"She sounds like an incredible mother."

"She was. I miss her..."

"At least she's watching you from above. Protecting you and keeping you safe."

"I wish you could have met her. You would've loved her."

"If she's anything at all like you, I know I would have loved her," Rick said quietly. He pulled her towards himself, longing to hold her safely in his arms.

"Thank you for opening up to me, Kate. I know it isn't easy for you."

"Thanks for listening and caring," she smiled.

"It's what club members do for each other," he chuckled.

Kate laid her head on his chest once more, finding comfort in the sound of his heart beating steadily in his chest. They lay in bed, hand in hand, two flawed and broken souls; but in each other, together, they found solace.

_And you're lying real still,  
__But your heartbeat is fast just like mine_

**A/N: This is the chapter that absolutely refused to be written. It turned out a little bit better than what I expected, though. Thoughts? (FYI, they've pretty much broken all the rules of FWB. The most important one was to avoid talking about anything real). Againg, sorry for being the world's slowest writer. I'll try to do better~**


	14. Bubble Bath

**A/N: Hey, sorry for disappearing for another month and a half, but this update is definitely worth it. :) This is probably one of two times that I'll urge you to listen to a song, but if you want the FULL EFFECT of this chapter, listen to "Ungodly Hour" by the Fray while reading (youtube it or go on my tumblr). The lyrics don't describe the scene properly (it's actually about a couple breaking up), but I feel that the mood of the song captures the ambiance of this chapter. You'll probably have to listen to the song twice b/c this chapter is long (4,500+ words vs. a 5 min song) but if you can get the ending of the song to match up to when you read the last paragraph, it's perfect (4:40 and "the rest of the world"). Enjoy~**

**Chapter 14**

It was a Friday night and her usual routine was to draw a hot bath and indulge herself in a good book. Following this long established tradition, Kate procured all the items necessary for her bath. She carefully examined the selection of bubble baths she had purchased from Bath and Body works, choosing a scent that suited her mood. Japanese cherry blossom bubble bath smelled nice. She also set up some candles to go along with her bubble bath to create a relaxing atmosphere.

Leaving the water running to fill up the tub, Kate ventured to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of wine. Clutching a book and a crystalline glass, she returned to the bathroom to check on her bath. The water was just the right temperature, hot enough to soothe her muscles but not enough to burn or scorch. She poured in the dark pink bubble bath as the running water continued gushing out of the nozzle. Bubbles came to life in the large tub, multiplying at a quick rate. Each sphere reflected a glistening rainbow on its surface, and she watched with mesmerized eyes as they spread across the water. A thick, foamy layer of bubbles soon covered the water's surface. Kate shut off the water just as it filled the tub to the brim. Slowly stepping into the water, she submerged the majority of her body into the bath tub and absorbed the heat.

Assimilating her body to the water, Kate took a sip of her wine. She basked in her peaceful, candle lit solitude. The heat of the water had a healing effect on her body that sedated her worn out limbs. Her muscles had been sore for the past few days, and it wasn't just because of work. She and Rick had been having sex nonstop since they crossed that line, throwing all caution into the wind. She never had this much sex with anyone before, but they just couldn't get enough of each other. They were like honeymooners, having sex anywhere and everywhere they could. Against counters, on the couch, up against the wall, in the shower, on the stairs. And it was incredible. Mind-blowing, to say in the least. He got her heart rate up with a single look and made her forget every name save for his, making her scream it loudly time and time again. Rick wasn't like the other lovers that she'd had before. It was different with him, probably because they cared about each other and had a special relationship they had yet to define. Each time they discovered more about the other in the most intimate way possible. If Kate had known the sex was going to be this amazing, she would've started sleeping with him a long time ago.

She'd be lying if she said she wasn't jealous of all the other women that he has slept with. Plenty, that she was sure of, but at least it wasn't completely a waste. His extensive experience with the female body had left him with an unchallenged sexual prowess. He really knew how to please a woman.

The sound of the water shutting off drew Rick's attention and he went to check on Kate. Politely knocking on the door, he called her name. "Kate?"

"Come in," she said behind the closed door.

He opened the door and crossed the divide into her personal sanctuary. Twenty flickering candles illuminated the dim room, offering the only source of light. A gentle flowery scent teased his nose as he took in his surroundings. The steam from the hot water created a slightly stuffy feel in the relatively small room, making it feel like a sauna. Only her bare shoulders were visible through the bubbles that hid the rest of her milky flesh.

"Hey," she greeted.

"Hey. I thought you were taking a shower and I just wanted to check on you."

"Bath, actually. Care to join me?"

Rick was slightly surprised at her offer but accepted it eagerly. He stripped down in minimal time and walked over to her. She leaned forward to make room for him and he stepped into the tub to embrace her from behind. It took him a minute to acclimate to the temperature, but the heat seeped into every crevice of his body and he relaxed.

Rick rubbed his hands up and down her sides. "Sore?"

"Just a little bit," she replied.

"Hmm, me too. We've been having a lot of sex."

"Mmm, but it's amazing."

Leaning back against the tub, he sighed. "What are you thinking about right now?"

She mused over his question for a few moments. "If you asked me a year ago where I saw myself in a year, this is definitely the last place in the world I would expect to be. In your apartment, in your tub taking a bath. With you."

"Life's full of surprises isn't it," he said as he worked his hands up and down her body. Rick massaged her muscles slowly and sensually, paying special attention to the places that were tense. His hands relieved the pressure from her taut muscles, making her moan in response to his touch.

"Sure is. Even further back before I knew you… I never expected to meet Richard Castle. Truth be told, I was a little exited to arrest you."

"You didn't arrest me the first time we met. You brought me in for questioning to help on the copy-cat killer case."

"Yes but later on I arrested you. For obstruction of justice."

"Ah yes, I remember that. Just another event to add to my rap sheet."

"You know, I've actually met you before our first case."

"Really? Where?"

"At one of your book signings."

"And what was your first impression of me?"

"Cocky and egotistical. Seriously, you signed my book and wrote your number at the end. We didn't even know each other and you tried to pick me up."

"Maybe that's because I already knew that I needed to get to know you better. Why didn't you call me?"

"I stood in line for an hour waiting to get my copy of Storm's Last Stand signed only to find out that my favorite author was an immature playboy."

"An hour? Hmm… sorry for not living up to your expectations," he kissed her shoulder.

"It's okay. I'm still a big fan of your work."

"How big of a fan? Please, enlighten me."

"Well, you already know that your books helped me through my mother's death, but I've been reading your novels for a long time. I've read every single one several times."

"Are my books the only ones you read? I don't see you reading many others."

"I've read some of Patterson's and Cannel's, but I've always seemed to like yours better."

"And you frequently read books in the tub."

"Not the greatest idea. I've dropped a few books into the water before. They're not exactly suited to be immersed in water and bubbles. Makes the pages crinkly."

Silence filled the bathroom for a good minute, as Rick and Kate let their bodies suspend in the water. It wasn't an awkward silence; it was one where they were comfortable with each other and just enjoyed the other's presence. Rick aimlessly drew circles on her skin with his finger, gingerly kissing her neck and earlobe.

"Hmm…" Kate hummed. She looked over to the novel resting on the table beside the tub. Drying her hands on a towel, she reached over to take it and then turned to look at Rick. Kate gave him an innocent smile.

"I know that look. I saw it at the mall when you were buying all your stuff."

"What are you talking about?"

"You want something from me," he said smugly. "I can tell."

"I do not!" she faced forward.

"What is it?" he whispered in her ear.

"Nothing."

"Come on, tell me. I'll do anything you want."

"No. You suspected that I had ulterior motives. I just wanted to read," Kate defended, turning to face him again.

"Really now? There's nothing you wanted?"

She paused to think. "Maybe."

"If you tell me, I'll probably say yes," he goaded as he leaned forward.

"Fine," she leaned in closer so that their noses were touching. Kate had a twinkle in her eye that Rick liked to think was reserved specially for him. He loved that sparkle in her eye because it meant that she was happy. It meant that she was happy with him, and that was more than he could ever ask for.

"Will you read to me?" she asked sweetly.

Rick grinned at her request. "Of course," he answered, kissing her briefly.

Taking the book, he asked, "Heat Wave? Haven't you already read it?"

"Yes, but since it was the most recent one to be released, I've only had the chance to read it a few times. I've already read all your other novels several times over. Do you mind?"

"Not at all."

Cracking open the fresh hardcover, he began to read the story to her with a strong narrative tone that years of storytelling had refined. The sound of his rich voice painted an illustrative image in her mind's eye, as the streets and alleyways of his NYC came to life through his words. She was sucked into the world of Nikki Heat, modeled after her own, and saw the events unfold in a whole new light. He had a way with words that not only captivated her, but also emphasized the details to give her fresh new insight on the trials and tribulations his characters endure.

As he continued reading, Kate felt a connection to Nikki Heat. There really was more Nikki Heat in her than she thought. The way Nikki thought, talked, and acted were all so similar to her own actions. If it were possible to capture a person's soul on a page, Rick did a pretty darn good job of it. She picked up on all the small references to things that actually happened in real life that he included in the story and what he drew his ideas from. In this case, art imitated life to a tee.

What a wonderful way to spend a Friday night. Taking a bath with someone she lov-liked and having her favorite author read her a book that he wrote about her. The best part was that they were together. Maybe not in the couple sense yet, but they were at least together, here, for now. And she wanted to keep it this way. Kate knew that it was a bit selfish to set the rules on where they were and where they should be, but he didn't seem to mind. No more lonely Saturday nights spent in her apartment with a novel or worse, a case file to read. Two is better than one when it comes to well, anything.

She found herself nodding off from pure exhaustion. The bath, coupled with Rick's husky voice, was enough to send her floating along gently on a silver lined dream cloud.

As the water lost its heat, Rick noticed that Kate was struggling to stay awake. She had comfortably nestled her head in the crook of his neck and found it a nice spot to doze off. He almost didn't want to wake her because she seemed so peaceful, but the water was getting cold. Gently petting her hair, Rick brushed a kiss to her forehead.

"Sleepy?" he asked her as she opened her eyes.

"A little."

"Then let's get washed up and go to bed, shall we?"

"Okay," she murmured. "I like having you read to me."

"Any time Katie."

Kate took a quick rinse in the shower first, while Rick drained the tub and blew out the candles. She stepped out of the shower, wrapping herself in a towel, and reached for the hair dryer to blow dry her hair. Rick followed suit in swiftly washing himself in the shower and stepped out feeling refreshed. Clad in only a towel, he watched her at the sink fixedly, trying to figure out how he felt about her. As she brushed her teeth, Kate caught Rick looking at her intently.

"What?" she said into the mirror.

"Nothing," he shook his head.

Spitting out the toothpaste, she wiped her mouth on a nearby towel and turned to face him. "You're staring at me."

"No I'm not."

"You think you're being all surreptitious with your furtive glances, but you're not. I can tell that you're staring at me," she asserted as she walked towards him.

"I'm not doing anything!" he defended.

"Mhmm… I'm on to you," she poked her finger at his chest.

Leaning in, he smiled and took her hand in his. "I promise, I'm innocent."

Standing at a respectable height of 6'1'', Rick was about 4 inches taller than her. Kate was one of very few woman who came close to matching his height, and her 5'9'' stature was a good compeer to his. Even their height made them a perfect match. She looked up, their faces only a breath apart, searching his eyes and silently inquiring.

"I…" he trailed off.

"What?" she asked.

He wanted to tell her. He wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms, hold her close, and claim her as his. To tell her he loved her. To tell her that he was in love with her, and he had been for the longest time. That ever since the case involving her mother's killer which hit a little too close to home, when she told him she wanted him around, he had fallen in love with her and had been falling in love with her even more each and every day. That being with her, just knowing her, made him a better man since the day they met at his book launching. She changed him. She challenged him. She inspired him. She made him see that he didn't want those blonde bimbos that he slept with out of hurt or loneliness. She made him see that he deserved better. He deserved a stable relationship where one day he might settle down and have a family with her, a loving wife and mother around to raise his children. She grounded him, making him see that he wasn't the center of the universe. Being a rock star in the literary world tended to swell up his ego, but Kate would have none of that. To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world. And she (along with his daughter and mother) was his world.

This was his first genuine glimpse into true love. He had been in a multitude of bad, failed relationships where he honestly thought he was in love. Where he thought she was the one. But none of them could even come close to what he had with Kate. He'd seen only a fragment of what she'd been through, the scary reality she faced on a daily basis, which made her all the more strong. The things that hurt her—cases that reminded her of her mother, murders that she couldn't prevent—he wanted to protect her from all of that. He wanted to be with her every step of the way, to be her knight in shining armor, someone for her to rely on. Someone for her to talk to. A shoulder for her to cry on. She had always taken care of herself, even to a fault sometimes. She never let anyone else take care of her, and he knew that this must've been tiring after years of just relying on herself. But if she would let him, he would gladly step into her life, a little bit at a time, and take care of her.

This was so much more than just sex to him. Every laugh they shared, every smile she gave him, every intimate moment they had, when the rest of the world seemed to melt away, captured his heart and made him fall in love with her even more. He wanted to be the first one she saw when she woke up in the morning. He wanted to be the one she came home to. He wanted to be the only one to make passionate love to her every night. He wanted to be the one she was in love with. Because he was in love with her. He hadn't consciously admitted this to himself before, but now that he had, it made him see everything in a new light.

Even from day one, they had undeniable chemistry. There's something about her, something between them he couldn't precisely identify, which drew them together magnetically. It was something intrinsic, as if it were in their nature to be together. Everything about them fit. The way they were so finely tuned and in sync all the time. The way her hand fit in his. The way her body reacted to his. It's like they were made for each other.

She made him want her so badly, for he was used to getting whatever he wanted, and meeting a woman who was immune to his boyish charms was a refreshing experience. So she taunted him daily, exchanging good-natured banter and sexual innuendos, feeding a fire that was already burning bright. He could have practically any woman he wanted but lo and behold, he fell in love with the single woman who was resistant to his flirting. And he suspected that she felt the same way.

But she wasn't ready to exchange "I love you's." He knew that if he told her, she would probably freak out in a Kate Beckett kind of way, analyzing the situation and seeking to take control. If he told her that he loved her first, it would mean she wasn't in control. But falling in love isn't an orderly, defined process. It's messy and unpredictable. It's crazy and overwhelming. It's an unstoppable force of nature that people spend a lifetime searching for. Searching for what they already had. Love. He once heard someone say love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile, and he wanted to be the one alongside her for the ride.

So for now, he would have to accept this. Because this is all she could give. And he would take whatever she could give. He wanted more, but she wasn't ready for it. Usually in his relationships, the woman wanted more and he didn't. But she was different, he was different… this was different. She was special to him and he couldn't run the risk of losing her. Their relationship meant too much to him. Kate wasn't just his partner or his lover; she was also his best friend. She was so deeply rooted into his heart that he didn't know what he would do if he lost her. Kate was different from all of the other women he had been with. She wasn't Meredith, Gina, not even Kyra. She was genuine. She was real. She was extraordinary.

The mélange of feelings swirled around in his head like a maelstrom, giving him pause. _Not yet,_ he decided. _Someday. Someday soon I'll tell her,_ he thought bitter sweetly. Her eyes, reflecting the purity of her soul, were still imploring him for an answer to what he was thinking about. But for once in his life, he was short on words. "I…" he started. He found his voice, whispering the sentiment. "I think you're beautiful."

These words made her heart flutter and her skin tingle. Many men had told her that she was hot, sexy, gorgeous, or any number of synonyms of these words, but she never really believed them until Rick whispered it to her. Standing in front of him, in a towel with no make-up on, she definitely didn't think she looked beautiful. But he did. And he meant it. The sincerity in his voice touched her heart and filled her with warmth that only he could bring her. His eyes spoke to her. In those strikingly blue orbs, she saw how much he cared for her. She saw raw emotion, deep and genuine, the kind that one can only see in the most intimate of situations. She knew that he could see the same in her eyes. _Oh no_, she thought._ I'm becoming one of those women. The ones that melted when Rick Castle told them they were beautiful._

She didn't care. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

She felt something shift between them. Something so minute that she couldn't place her finger on it. Maybe he kissed her a little deeper, hugged her a little more tenderly, held her gaze a little longer, but she thought nothing of it. She was too wrapped up in being stupidly happy.

He brought his lips to hers again, kissing her more passionately. They moved into the bedroom to make love once more, but it was a little different this time. The laughter that usually accompanied their lovemaking was absent this time, and they were unusually silent. He was gentler this time, trying not to be too rough because their muscles were sore from the rough nature of their sex yesterday.

Reaching the bed, her calves met the edge of the mattress and they both fell onto his plush bed. They moved so that her head was comfortably resting on the pillow, as Rick kissed along the contours of her body.

"Mmm, so beautiful," he whispered.

Capturing her lips with his again, he nestled himself in between her legs.

"You ready?" he breathed.

She nodded yes.

He entered her gently, not wanting to rush things. She gasped as he pushed himself into her further, filling her completely. Pulling out, he slid into her again, carefully not to hit any of her sore spots. The pace they were at was excruciatingly slow as their bodies moved together, as one, softly and steadily building to a climax. His gentle movements were driving her insane, as she wanted him to just take her hard and fast.

"Faster, Rick," she whimpered.

"I want to take it slowly tonight, Katie." He thrust into her gently once more. "Nice and slow," he groaned.

Drawing out the effects of each stroke, he kissed her passionately and sensually, his tongue mimicking the movements of his body. Gradually, they increased the speed a bit, but still moving at a moderate pace.

They moved in sync together, as intimately and passionately as a man and a woman can be with another. There was something so special about being with the one, the right one, which made all the difference. Something magical.

The way her body could move against his, with his, to create such an incredible sensation was indeed, something of magical proportions. The way he could fill her, satisfy her, make love to her like no other man could, was something deeper than a simple physical relationship. Their bodies were intertwined, their hearts, their minds, their lives. And together they completed each other. Like yin and yang.

She was close to reaching her peak, her body coming so close to crossing over into bliss.

"Rick. I can't hold on much longer," she moaned.

His face hovered closely above hers. "I want you open your eyes for me, Katie."

As she opened her eyes, she could barely make out the features of his face in the dark, moonlit room.

"I want you to look at me when you come," he grunted.

"I'm so close… Rick. What about yo-"

"Don't worry about me, Katie. I'll be taken care of. Just let go."

He pushed into her a few more times, as Kate reached her peak, her body writhing in ecstasy. Still thrusting into her, he drew out her release as he reached his own. Rick leaned his forehead against hers as he came with her, both of them looking into each other's eyes as they climaxed together.

Never breaking the gaze, both Rick and Kate lay together, in a post-coital bliss. Their heaving chests died down into a rhythmic breathing, as they shared one last long, dreamy kiss. Rick moved to spoon her as Kate sighed in content, exhaustion settling in her bones.

The rest of the world began to slip away as Kate lingered in between the real world and dream world. She could have almost sworn that she heard his voice, barely above a whisper, murmuring "I love you Kate," as she drifted off into a deep sleep.

_Don't talk, don't say a thing  
_'_Cause your eyes they tell me more than your words_

**A/N: Leave a comment if the song thing worked for you, haha. P.S. I own no rights to the song. It's one of my favorites! (700 plays on my iTunes).**


	15. This is Home

**Chapter 15**

The Saturday morning sun was just beginning to peek through the blinds when Kate arose with a yawn. She and Rick were carelessly tangled in a mess of sheets and clothes on his plush bed. Making an effort not to wake him, Kate shifted out of his arms and grabbed a shirt and a pair of pajama pants from the jumbled pile of clothing near the foot of the bed. She swiftly slipped on the clothes and turned to watch Rick in his deep slumber. He snored lightly, with the occasional unintelligible sound escaping from his throat. Leaning over, Kate smiled softly and brushed his cheek, giving him a light peck on the lips as she left the bed.

After washing up, Kate padded down the stairs and felt her stomach growl, so she decided to make breakfast for the two of them. She turned towards the kitchen and set to work. Rick's kitchen was well-stocked, much unlike hers, and she had no difficulty finding all the necessary ingredients for pancakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon, the perfect Saturday morning breakfast. Kate even plugged her iPod into the mini speakers on the counter and turned on some music to hum to while she cooked

She began by mixing batter for the pancakes in a large bowl, as closely to her mother's recipe as the ingredients that she had at hand would allow. Kate was so engrossed in her task and the music that she didn't hear the sound of the front door unlocking and suitcase wheels rolling across the hardwood floor. She had just poured some pancake batter into the pan when she heard a familiar voice call her name from behind.

"Detective Beckett?"

Kate recognized the voice instantly and her eyes widened in shock. She turned around promptly to greet the teenager.

"Alexis!" Kate said with surprise, feeling caught in an unwanted situation. She and Alexis weren't very close, and Kate was worried what Alexis would think of her relationship with her father and their living arrangement. To make matters worse, she had to face her alone, for Rick was still fast asleep upstairs in his comfortable bed.

"I, uh, didn't know you were coming back today. Rick, I mean your dad, didn't tell me..." she stuttered awkwardly as she turned the music down.

"Oh, well I had a really early flight and I just arrived."

"How was your trip?"

"Good, but I'm glad to be home. As much as I love my mother, I can only handle her in small doses. I've shopped more in these two weeks than I've shopped in past 6 months."

"Sounds fun but tiring."

"Definitely."

"And your flight?"

"It was okay. I'm not a huge fan of airports or airplanes. Especially the food," Alexis said as she moved her bags to the side. "Speaking of which, I'm starving."

"Do you want some breakfast? I'm making pancakes, eggs, and bacon."

"If it's not too much trouble."

"Of course not. I was already cooking before you came in."

"Is there anything you need help with? I can help you cook."

"No, it's fine. You're probably exhausted from the flight."

"A little bit, but I'd still love to help."

"Okay then. Can you set out some plates then crack the eggs and whip them up?"

"Sure." Alexis grabbed three plates out of the cabinet and utensils out of a drawer. She then opened the fridge to grab a few eggs and milk. Expertly cracking the eggs into a bowl, Alexis finished mixing the ingredients in minimal time.

"Anything else?" she asked.

"Not for now. The pancakes should almost be done then I'll start the eggs."

"Hmm... okay." Alexis climbed onto one of the high chairs that was situated in front of the counter where Kate was cooking. She watched Kate quietly for a few moments, thinking of how to phrase her next question. Alexis wasn't too surprised that her dad had started seeing Kate-it was practically inevitable that they would end up together. However, she didn't expect them to move forward together so quickly. Alexis had only been gone for a few weeks, and already they were having sleepovers and cooking each other breakfast.

"So Detective Beckett," Alexis began tentatively.

"You can call me Kate." She flipped the last pancake once more then lifted it out of the pan and onto a plate. Kate took the bowl of eggs that Alexis had prepared and poured the contents into the hot pan.

"Kate," she tested her name out. "You and my dad... Are you two together or something?"

Kate bit her bottom lip and looked up at Rick's daughter. She knew the question was coming up and was dreading having to answer it.

"Well, we're um..." Kate stalled, trying to come up with a response. "Making perfume ads," she said lamely, referencing Rick's book for lack of a concrete answer.

"Huh?"

"Um, never mind," she shook her head. "It's complicated."

"How so?" Alexis asked.

"Well it sort of just happened. Neither of us was expecting it and we're still trying to figure things out. I know it's a very vague answer, but I'm not even completely sure of what we're doing yet," she replied as she stirred the eggs.

"Oh okay. Sorry for being intrusive by asking."

"No, it's fine. You have a right to know since you're his daughter, and you want what's best for him."

"I sound like a parent don't I?"

Kate chuckled at the remark. "Sometimes I wonder who's the adult in this house. But it's really sweet that you care about your dad that much." Kate's worries were dispelled as she continued chatting with Alexis. She relaxed into the conversation, finding it easy to talk with Rick's daughter, who was years beyond her age in maturity. Kate finished cooking the eggs and plated them up next to the pancakes. She laid down strips of bacon into the hot pan to complete the meal.

"Hey, I'm going to unpack and then take a shower, okay?" Alexis said. "I'll be down for breakfast in a bit. In the meantime, just think about things I guess, and we can talk more later."

"Sure thing," Kate flashed a smile at the girl. Alexis hopped off the high chair and headed to her room with her suitcases.

That went smoother than expected. It was kind and respectful of Alexis to give her space and some time to think about things, and the least Kate could do in return was to give her some answers. After all, Kate was essentially barging into her home and stealing her dad-without any warning to the teenager. She knew that Alexis just wanted her dad to find someone good for him, and Kate hoped that she could fill that role.

Kate began to mentally plot revenge against Rick for not telling her that Alexis would return today. Surely he had known when his daughter would be back in town, and yet he chose not to tell her about it. Images of torture flashed through her mind as she wickedly thought of the many different ways she could punish him.

As she continued cooking and conspiring, the distinctive aromas of breakfast wafted through the air, permeating the apartment to create a homelike atmosphere. The scent reached the bedroom, where Rick was still asleep. His nose picked up on the smell and his stomach growled hungrily in response. Rick yawned and stretched out his arms, waking up from one of the best rests that he had ever had. He groggily reached over to the other side of the bed, expecting to feel Kate's presence next to him, but found it empty. Not yet fully awake, Rick sat up, climbed out of the bed, and slowly treaded to the door in search of Kate.

He rubbed his face, his eyes still heavy from his state of peaceful slumber, and tried to coherently absorb his surroundings. Descending down the stairs, Rick found Kate cooking in the kitchen, with her back to him. He paused for a moment, just watching her perfect figure poised at the kitchen counter, swaying to soft music as she cooked. He couldn't help the smile that slowly formed on his mouth.

This scene, domestic as is was, felt natural in every way. They were so comfortable with each other, so used to one another, as if they had been together for many years. Waking up with her, cooking and eating breakfast with her, spending a whole day with her-these were the simplest yet most meaningful joys in life. He wanted every Saturday to be like this. She made everything feel like home.

Feeling the need for her proximity and yearning to kiss her, Rick snuck up quietly behind Kate, slipping his arms around her waist and whispering into her ear.

"Mmm... Something smells amazing, and it's not just the food," he breathed.

All her plans of revenge flew out the window when she felt his presence behind her, gently pulling her towards him and holding her close. He pushed her hair aside and lightly nibbled her earlobe, tugging at it and sucking it, as his hands moved up and down her sides sensually. She let out a moan when he trailed his way down the column of her throat, kissing the flesh where her neck met her shoulders.

"Morning," she sighed. "Sleep well?"

"Oh, you have no idea."

"Hmm..." she hummed. "I think I do."

"Last night was amazing," he mumbled in between kisses. "Every night with you is amazing. Every second I spend with you is amazing."

He spun her around to make her face him, taking in the brilliant smile that adorned her face, and reflected a smile equally as dazzling back at her. Pushing her against the countertop, he wedged himself in between her legs and leaned forward slowly to kiss her. He hesitated briefly, their mouths barely and inch apart, and took the moment just to enjoy the sparkle in her eyes.

When he pressed his lips to hers, she brought her hands to his face, touching his cheeks and jawbone lightly as he kissed her. His hands roamed their way down her back and eventually rested comfortably on her waist, holding her steady. She lowered her hands from his face and linked them together, playing with the ends of his hair at the nape of his neck. He deepened the kiss, eliciting a moan from her that reverberated into his mouth, and he hummed in response. She ran her fingers through his messy hair, kissing him back equally as hard.

The soft kiss had escalated to one with passion and desire, and Rick had to stop himself before things went even further. Reluctantly, he broke the kiss but he didn't move from their spot against the counter. When they parted, they were both left breathless, gasping for air.

"That was some good morning kiss," Kate panted.

"I think I said good morning pretty well," he grinned.

She rolled her eyes at him but smiled to herself as she moved back over to the stove. Everything was cooked and plated up nicely, ready to be enjoyed for a hearty breakfast. As Kate reached to pick up the plates to move them to the higher counter where they would eat their meal, Rick tried to snatch a piece of bacon from one of the plates. Before he could grab one, Kate swatted his hand away.

"Ow," he frowned and rubbed his hand. "Can't I have a piece?"

She shook her head at his childishness. "It's hot." Kate took the spatula and lifted a piece of bacon to her mouth, blowing on it gently to cool it down before she gave it to him.

"Here," she said as she fed it to him.

Rick munched happily. "What would I do without you?" he teased.

"Burn yourself?" she joked.

"Very true." Rick walked over to the fridge, pulling it open. "What do you want to drink?"

"Coffee, please."

"Of course. I swear, you're addicted to that stuff."

"Mostly because of my job."

"Alright, two cups of coffee coming up."

"Oh, and you might want to get a glass of juice or something out too."

"Sure thing."

Rick poured out some orange juice into a glass and then started the coffee pot. He eyed Kate carefully as she set out not two, but three plates and sets of utensils onto the kitchen counter.

"Are we expecting company?" he questioned.

"Yes, in fact. Is there something that you have been neglecting to tell me?"

"Ummm..." Rick attempted to wrack his brain for an answer, coming up empty with a response. "Like what?"

Just that moment, Alexis Castle came bounding down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"That." Kate said pointedly.

"Dad!" Alexis exclaimed as she enveloped him in a hug. "I missed you."

"Hey, welcome back Lex! When did you get home? I thought you were returning later this afternoon."

"Nope, I had an early flight. Did you not tell Kate that I was coming back today?" Alexis had detected Kate's surprise when she came into the apartment. Ironically enough, Alexis was equally surprised to see Kate there, cooking in their kitchen.

Rick threw an I'm sorry glance at Kate, who had a knowing look on her face.

"Must've slipped my mind. I'm so glad you're home though, Lex. How was California?"

"Awesome, but I still think I prefer New York."

"That's New Yorkers for you. Genetically designed to hate everywhere except Manhattan."

"So, you guys do anything interesting while I was gone? Solve any interesting cases?"

"Oh, we've had our share of excitement these past few week," Kate said as she sat down to eat. "A serial killer, FBI agents, a bomb at my apartment."

"A bomb?" Alexis inquired. "What happened?'

Kate caught Rick's eye, knowing be was eager to tell the story. "Would you like to do the honors? You're the better storyteller."

Rick nodded and finished swallowing the food in his mouth to begin telling the story. "Hmm. Where should I start? Ah, the first DBs." Rick recounted the events of the Nikki Heat serial killer case, adding a certain Castle-esque suspense to the story. Both Alexis and Kate were absorbed by his narration and Kate occasionally added a detail here and there to correct him on some facts. The case, retold by Rick, seemed even more interesting in story form than Kate had experienced firsthand. Rick especially emphasized and dramatized the bomb scene in her apartment, describing his heroic act of busting down a door to save Kate in the midst of fire, smoke, and chaos.

The morning passed quickly as the trio enjoyed their breakfast and Rick's story. By the time he reached the thrilling conclusion, it was already midmorning. They all had their fill of breakfast and lazily relaxed into the homey atmosphere. Rick happened to glance at the clock and remembered that he was supposed to be at a meeting with his publisher about his upcoming book.

"Oh, Gina's going to kill me. I'm going to be late again. Ugh, I have to take a quick shower and go meet with her. Mmm, thank you for the breakfast, Kate. It was delicious." He pressed a quick kiss to her lips and stood to bring his plate to the sink.

"You can just leave it. I'll take care of it later. Don't be late for your meeting."

"Too late for that," Rick responded. He walked back to the high chairs and kissed Alexis' head. "See you later sweetie."

"Bye Dad," she said as he rushed out of the kitchen.

"Wow, that was some crazy case," Alexis turned back to Kate. "I'm still trying to make sense of all the twists and the bomb. How do you survive something like that?"

"Well, my cast iron tub protected me from most of the blast, which was focused in my living room. And a brush with death like that definitely makes you think about the important things in life."

"Like the people who care about you."

"Yeah..." Kate trailed off. A moment of silence passed between them. "Are you okay with all of this? With me living here and... being with your Dad?"

"I'll admit, it's a little sudden and unexpected, but I think... you're good for him. You make him happy. Truly happy." Alexis smiled warmly at Kate.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I've seen the women that he's dated over the years. He's never cared for any of them as much as he cares for you. You're not just a number on a list or another pretty face. You're really special to him, Kate. This whole situation will probably take some getting used to, but you know I'll be going to college soon and I need someone to look after him."

Kate grinned. "And that's my job."

"Yup. All I ask is that you don't hurt him. I think he would be devastated if ever lost you."

"I would never hurt him. At least not intentionally..."

"I know you wouldn't. But I think he cares about you more than you actually realize."

"Oh..." Kate pondered.

"Hmm..." Alexis thought. "Ground rules. Keep the PDA to a minimum around here. And always lock your door. Please."

"Of course. And I promise I won't get between you two. One of the things I love the most about him is what a great Dad he is you. You guys have an amazing relationship, and I definitely won't try to steal him away from you."

Alexis laughed. "Don't worry. I know how to share." Kate laughed alongside Rick's daughter.

"Do you need any help with the dishes?" Alexis asked as she got up from the high chair. "Saturdays are supposed to be my dish washing day."

"We can do them together then," Kate smiled at Alexis. She was such a great daughter-polite, kind, responsible, and diligent. Kate couldn't help but hope that she could have a daughter like Alexis one day. She briefly entertained this thought as she and Alexis worked in sync to wash the dishes.

They chatted like old friends for the rest of the morning, with Kate sharing her experiences in college and her summers abroad and Alexis listening eagerly. The two discussed the future and Alexis' college plans as Kate gave her tips and guidance on applications and majors. Around noon, Alexis excused herself to go upstairs and finish up some studying.

"Thanks for all the advice, Kate. It helps me a lot."

"Any time, Alexis. I know going to college is going to be a huge transition for you, so if you ever need anything or just want to talk, don't hesitate to ask."

"Will do. I appreciate having someone like you to talk to. You're a really good role model."

Kate was slightly surprised at this comment, but she accepted it graciously. "Oh, umm... thanks."

"We should do this again sometime."

"Definitely," she grinned.

Alexis gave her a quick hug before dashing back up the stairs to study for AP exams. Kate had a small smile lingering on her mouth, having enjoyed her conversation with Alexis and bonding with her. She had a feeling that this was where she belonged, somehow, as a part of their unorthodox family. Everything, for once, just felt right with them.

It never felt more like home.

_This is home  
__Now I'm finally where I belong_

**A/N: It's finally summer :) Which means more time to write! My goal is to finish this fic already... It's been over a year. D: (we're still in season 2 mode, haha) Expect more chapters soon-ish.**


	16. Of Hickeys

**Chapter 16: Of Hickeys...**

A month later, Kate sat in the precinct mulling over a mountain of paperwork. She had come in early to the precinct, as usual, to get a head start on the day. Rick, on the other hand, was still at home, either sleeping or up and typing away on his computer in order to meet deadlines for his second book. He had decided to take the morning off and actually work on his book, which he was far behind on in writing.

Kate usually made an effort to try and show up to work separately from him. Daily simultaneous entrances were bound to stir up rumors in the precinct, and she wanted to maintain a professional status in the workplace. It was hard enough to keep her private life and public life separate after Rick started following her around to base his next series of novels on her. The publicity had skyrocketed her into spotlight, and her life was bared for virtually everyone to see.

They had been able to conceal their relationship from her coworkers for the most part, thanks to Kate's strict precinct rules. However, most of the precinct had assumed long before that they were an item or something along those lines. The ones who knew her well, such as Ryan and Esposito, already knew that they were living together in the interim and no longer thought twice about their living arrangements.

She had gotten quite a bit of paperwork done in good time that morning. Whenever she did paperwork, Castle would usually sit there quietly watching her fill out documents, which, now that she thought about it, was kind of weird. She did enjoy the few hours of rare silence without him that morning. Beckett was just stacking up a pile of papers and tidying up her desk when Esposito walked by and noticed a particular blemish on her skin.

He stopped in his tracks and tilted his head sideways. "Is that a hickey?" he questioned, pointing to her neck.

His remark caught the attention of his partner who was walking just behind him. "Dude, that's totally a hickey." Beckett touched her neck instinctively, recalling the events from last night. She didn't even realize that Castle had given her a hickey, as she was too preoccupied by the other wonderful things he was doing to her body.

They both chuckled as Beckett blushed and tried to cover up the red spot strategically. She threatened Castle under her breath for marking her so visibly like that.

"Seriously guys, don't you have something else to do?" she snapped at them.

"Nope." Ryan smiled at her. "It's a slow day," he said bluntly.

"And you're just going to stick around teasing me about a hickey? What are you, in junior high?"

"Well this is far more interesting than doing grunt work. You know how it is around here. Rumors spread like wildfire."

"Especially about a certain writer and his favorite detective."

"Why are you two such gossipmongers? Is it really necessary to get involved in someone else's personal life?"

"Come on, Beckett. You know we're just giving you a hard time." Esposito taunted.

"Yeah, lighten up Beckett. We like teasing you about Castle because it irritates you so much," Ryan added.

Beckett gave them her signature death glare and they took it as a sign to back off.

"Hey, we were just trying to have some fun. Sorry." With that, the two detectives quickly shuffled away.

Beckett grumbled to herself, but she was interrupted by a phone call. She quickly answered in a professional manner and listened for details about their new case.

"Got it, thanks." She hung up and grabbed her keys as she stood up. Motioning to her boys, she filled them in on the meager details she knew so far about the case as they walked. They all filed into the elevator to head to the crime scene together.

A while later, the elevator bell dinged and Castle strode into the precinct, nodding to a couple of police officers and offering them a good afternoon. He made his way to Beckett's desk and noticed that she wasn't there. Looking around, he spotted Ryan and Esposito at their respective desks, doing what appeared to be busywork.

"Hey guys, what's up. Have you seen Beckett around?"

"She's still at the crime scene canvassing the area and questioning the neighbors," Esposito answered as he hung up the phone.

"Oh. Huh, why didn't she give me a call?"

"She's a bit annoyed right now. You might want to be on your best behavior today."

"Annoyed? That's odd. She seemed fine this mor- I mean, the last time I talked to her."

"We know you two are still living together, bro. She's irritated because we were teasing her about that hickey you gave her."

"Oh that, umm..." he said awkwardly.

"Don't even try to deny it. It's so obvious that you two are together. But she's really touchy about it, like she's still trying to hide it."

"Well we're not exactly a couple yet. We're still trying to figure things out." He wondered when they could finally make their relationship official. Castle was ready to tell the world that she was his, as soon as she would give him word.

"But it's getting serious?"

"Hmm..." he thought. "I guess you could say so."

Esposito eyed his partner. "Then it's time for the talk."

"Ah, the talk," Ryan repeated.

"What talk?" Castle asked.

"You know we're like brothers to her. So we gotta look out for her when it comes to personal stuff."

"We're bros too," he tried, motioning between them.

"Yeah, but we've known her longer."

"Plus she's our boss," Ryan added.

"So if you two have decided to start something, that's up to you guys. But if you hurt her, we hurt you."

Castle winced. "I would never want to hurt her intentionally..."

"We know that dude, but we're just being protective of her. Especially after Sorenson."

"What did he do?"

The two detectives glanced at each other and shared an uneasy feeling.

"Uhh. That's for you to find out from her, man. Not us."

"Got it."

"And don't mention this conversation to her."

"Yeah, she would totally kick our asses if she knew that we were protecting her like this."

"Nothing to start your day off like being threatened by your friends," Castle muttered to himself. Esposito caught his side comment and glared at him pointedly.

"Hey man, just looking out for our own," he finished.

Just then, Beckett came back into the bullpen after returning from the crime scene. She ordered the two other detectives to look into the victim's personal history, financials, and report from the ME-the usual work up. They headed out to the morgue together, grateful for any alternative to paperwork. She spotted Castle by her desk and greeted him as she sat down.

"Hey. Is this for me?" she asked, referring to one of the two coffee cups on her desk.

"Yup," he replied, leaning over and kissing her on the cheek.

Beckett looked up at him and gave him the look. "What did I say about precinct rules?"

"No touching of any sort while we're at work. Sorry," he frowned dejectedly.

"Mhmm" she murmured. Beckett took a generous gulp from the coffee cup.

"Right, best behavior today," Castle mumbled to himself.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." He glanced over at the file she was reading. "New case?"

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you call me to visit the crime scene with you?"

"I knew you were planning on writing this morning so I didn't want to bother you. Plus, you're really behind on your deadlines..." she looked up at him knowingly.

"Ugh..." Castle groaned. "Wait, how did you know that?"

"I'm a detective, remember?" she answered smartly. "Plus, your ex-wife has been calling. She doesn't appreciate that you've been screening her calls. Please tell me you got some writing done today..."

Castle looked at her sheepishly. "A little..."

She shook her head at him. "This is why I didn't want to get you involved with this case. Just another distraction."

"Mhmm..." He ruminated for a moment on his recent writing habits. His brow furrowed when he came to an unsatisfying conclusion. "I haven't written much all month," Castle realized.

"Why's that? Writer's block again?" she frowned.

Castle thought for a second. The murder cases they worked on were more than enough fodder for his writing. He was getting more material on a weekly basis than he could fit into his novel. "Nope, the creative juices are flowing just fine."

"Then what is it?"

Castle looked at her and said suggestively, "I have the biggest distraction at home." He smirked and leaned in close to whisper in her ear. "How am I supposed to write when I have a beautiful woman in my apartment distracting me with sex?"

Beckett bit her lip and smiled as she felt her face flush slightly. "Get your priorities straight, babe. Work first, play later."

"This is work. What do we have?"

She took the file to the murder board to distance herself from him. They couldn't keep whispering to each other in such close proximity. It looked really suspicious to the random bystander. Beckett grabbed a marker and talked with him through the case while she wrote.

"The victim is 27 year old Grayson Pierce, a software engineer, found dead in his apartment from blunt force trauma." She attached a photograph of the victim to the board with a magnet.

"His place was also sacked. Someone was obviously looking for something important. CSU is searching the place right now and the M.E. should be examining the body soon. We'll have details about the DB later. Neighbors heard some commotion late last night at around 11 to midnight, which should narrow our TOD. We're trying to locate his next of kin right now." Beckett finished by drawing a rough timeline and filling in the time of death window.

Castle tried his hand at the file, speed reading through the information. "Ooh, and it was his birthday," he winced. "Hell of a way to celebrate your day."

"Interestingly enough his wallet was on him, which means this wasn't just any other B&E. The murder was looking for something specific."

"A software engineer, you say? Maybe he was working on some high tech government project and someone wanted to quiet him."

Beckett rolled her eyes at him. "Again with your conspiracy theories." She chose to disregard his wild theories of top secret government conspiracies and focus instead on the hard evidence.

Another cop came up to her and handed her a file of papers. "Thanks," she said absently. Beckett turned back to Castle with her eyes trained on the file. "Grayson's financials are in," she said as she quickly scanned the sheet for red flags. "The last charge he made onto his credit card was at ... Gourmet Haus Staudt."

"That's a German beer garden not too far from his place," Castle noted. "Field trip?" he asked, offering her coat.

At the dimly lit bar, the pungent smell of alcohol and cigarettes permeated the air. Castle and Beckett made their way to the bar to talk to the bartender.

"Hey there, what can I get for you guys today?" he greeted.

Beckett flashed her shield. "We're here on official business, actually." She showed him a picture of the victim. "Do you recognize this man?"

"Sure, that's Grayson. He was here last night celebrating his birthday. Is he in some kind of trouble?"

"He was murdered last night."

"Oh, that's terrible." The bartender grimaced.

"Did he have any problems with any other customers? An argument or an altercation?"

"No, not him. I didn't have any problems with his group last night. It was his birthday and he was enjoying himself."

"Do you remember who he was with? Or who he left with?"

"Man, there were a ton of people. He was partying it up pretty well. Everyone was drinking, laughing, and having a good time. But now that you mention it, he was with another guy who was buying the drinks. They seemed to know each other. I'm not sure if they left together but I can pull up the records of the transactions."

"Please."

The bartender checked his logs. "He was with a... Chris Riordan." He gave Beckett the customer's contact information.

"Thanks," she said and left the bar with Castle.

_Here we are wandering aimlessly roaming  
__And when it's done we will walk  
__Where the road meets the sun_

**A/N: This fic isn't going to be case heavy. I had to include it for a reason... you'll see why later. :P**


	17. And Quickies

**Chapter 17: ...And Quickies**

When they returned to the precinct later, it was getting late and most cops were calling it a night. The bullpen was nearly empty, save for Esposito and Ryan who were waiting for them to share details on the case.

"What do you have for me?" Beckett asked as she walked towards them.

"M.E. confirmed cause of death as blunt force trauma to the head. Tox reveals levels of alcohol in his system consistent with his party at the bar last night. Grayson doesn't have any relatives that we can get in touch with at the time, but we're trying to contact a representative from the company he works at. We should be able to bring someone in tomorrow."

"See what you can pull up about Chris Riordan. He may have been the last person to see Grayson alive last night at the bar."

"Gotcha." Esposito and Ryan busied themselves with the new lead.

Beckett walked back to her desk and sat down. Castle wordlessly followed suit. She turned to look at him, noticing his uncharacteristic behavior.

"You've been unusually quiet today," she eyed him carefully. He wasn't very talkative or annoying during their car rides today, so she knew something had to be up.

"Oh well, just trying to stay on your good side."

"Why?" Beckett raised an eyebrow.

"Ummm..." he hesitated, wondering if he should tell her. In fact, it sounded kind of stupid. Ah, might as well spill it. The truth was always better in the long run.

"Well, Ryan and Esposito warned me when I came in that you weren't in the best of moods today. So I thought I'd act on my best behavior today," Castle answered sheepishly.

"Huh..." Beckett almost laughed at his revelation. She smiled at how cute and sincere Castle could be sometimes. "I was only annoyed at them for teasing me about this hickey you gave me." She brushed her hair aside to reveal the red spot.

"Yeah sorry about that."

"No you're not." She rolled her eyes at him. He left it as a mark on her, indicating that she was his, to some extent. Truth be told, she didn't mind really, only that Ryan and Esposito were giving her a hard time about it.

"But, since you were a good boy today..." she leaned in seductively while looking around to make sure no one was looking. Ryan and Esposito were still occupied with tracking down Chris Riordan. The room was sufficiently empty, according to her cursory scan. Beckett took Castle's hand and stood up, discreetly leading him into the women's bathroom.

"Why are we going in here?" Castle asked as she hurried them in.

"Just shut up," she commanded.

Once inside, she quickly looked underneath all of the stalls to make sure each one was empty. Finding that they were alone, Beckett pushed Castle into one of the stalls and crashed her lips onto his, kissing him hard.

Castle grunted, having been taken completely off guard by the kiss. Regaining stability, he moved his hands to her jaw bone and kissed her back.

Mumbling into the kiss he asked, "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" she replied breathlessly as they broke apart.

She moved her hands down to his pants, untucking his shirt while she unbuckled his belt. "Rewarding you for being a good boy." She looked him directly in the eye and grinned at him.

He could see the pure lust smoldering in her eyes, dangerously darkened and desirous. His eyes equally mirrored the passionate hunger in hers, as he craved no one other than her.

"What about your rules?"

"Ugh, now you care about them?" she groaned. Talk about poor timing.

"Mm, I was just wondering."

"I'm allowed to break them every once in a while." She dropped his pants and boxers, revealing his cock. She stroked him a few times, feeling him growing harder at her touch.

"And I'm not?" He moaned at her rhythmic pumping. He was now straining in her hand.

"Nope. You tend to far exceed your daily quota of rule breaking."

"But I was good today."

"Mhmm I know, which is why we're breaking this rule together." She knelt down, ready to take him in her mouth when he stopped her.

"Wait."

"What?" she looked up at him. Confused, she stood back up in the little amount of space that the cramped stall afforded.

"I want you."

"You... what?"

"You. I need you," he said simply.

It took her a moment to register his words. And then she realized what he meant. "Seriously? You want to have a quickie in here?"

"Mhmm..." he replied, kissing her again.

"Mmm..." she moaned into his mouth. His tongue begged entrance into her mouth, which she gladly granted. She had no choice but to acquiesce to his request.

His hands found their way down to her pants, undoing the button and zipper. He pushed them down along with her panties and let her step out of them while he fumbled a condom out of his wallet. Sliding it onto his cock, he brought her close to him with his hands on her hips.

He lifted one of her legs and wrapped it around his waist so she could prop herself up. He hoisted her up till he was right at her entrance, hot, wet, and desperate for him. He pushed himself into her as he lowered her, both of them moaning at the penetration. She wrapped her other leg around him, hooking her ankles behind him for support and pushing her hips into him.

"Oh..." she moaned as he filled her up completely.

"God Katie, you feel so good."

He began to pump into her, over and over again, using gravity to his advantage to fuck her hard.

"Yes, Rick! Oh..." she spat.

She moaned loudly at his movements, feeling him hit the right spot with each thrust.

"Shh shh Katie, you don't want someone to hear us" he admonished.

She tried to be softer but couldn't help herself. Her moans and his grunts filled the otherwise quiet, thinly walled restroom. To quiet her, he kissed her hard as he continued fucking her against the wall. She moaned into his mouth, the muffled sounds reverberating in his throat.

Her body tensed up and she dug her nails into his back, clawing at the fabric covering it. He let out a sigh as he thrust into her a few more times and poured himself into her. Her walls clamped down around him as her body contracted in pure pleasure. Their mouths finally broke apart, both gasping for much-needed air.

She sighed in content as he slid out of her. "Mmm... Thank you for that," she breathed, still panting heavily.

"I should be the one thanking you," he smiled as he kissed her again.

"Well, that's what you get for being good today."

"Remind me to stay on your good side by behaving more often. Especially if we get to do this," he smirked, meeting her lips with light kisses.

She laughed softy as they kissed. "God, I can't believe we just had sex in here."

"Like I say, rules are meant to be broken."

They promptly got dressed and fixed their clothes and messy hair, making themselves more presentable. They tried to look less like they just had a quickie, even though they both still had the obvious post-sex glow. He couldn't help but smile at her as she naturally, almost secondhandedly, fixed the collar to his shirt and the lapel to his jacket.

"Hmm..." she pondered, patting his coat, as she formed a plan of action in her head for them to return to her desk inconspicuously. "I'll go out first and act totally normal. You wait at least five minutes before coming out. Got it?"

"Sure." He quickly kissed her one more time on the lips.

She briefly checked her hair one last time and smiled at him in the mirror as she walked out the door back to her workplace.

Neither Esposito nor Ryan took notice of their absence, and if they did, they didn't question or make a mention of it. She slid back into her chair without causing any suspicion from the boys.

"Hey Beckett, we got the details on Riordan, like you asked," Ryan said as she returned. He handed her a few sheets of paper that were clipped together.

"Thanks."

"Actually, we were just about to wrap it up for tonight. Do you want to join us for dinner?"

"Umm yeah sure."

"I want to bring Jenny along to get her to know you guys better."

"Yeah, that would be nice." They had only seen Jenny a few times on the occasional night when she came to pick Ryan up from the precinct. It had been a while since they first met her as his girlfriend, and if they were still dating, things must be getting serious.

"Does Castle want to come along?" Ryan extended the invitation.

"Uh, probably. You can ask him later."

"Okay." Ryan quickly looked around in the usual places. "Where is he?"

"Umm... I think he's in the bathroom or something."

"Oh okay. Well, I'll ask him and then give Jenny a call to let her know we're getting ready to leave."

Ryan made a quick phone call to his girlfriend and walked towards the restrooms. Just as he was about to enter the men's bathroom, Castle slipped out of the women's bathroom, only to stop abruptly, caught like a deer in headlights by Ryan.

Ryan gave him a really weird "what the hell" look, while Castle just stood there, dumbfounded, and at a loss for words to form an adequate excuse. Ryan peered into the women's bathroom and then noticed Castle's slightly disheveled appearance. Realization finally dawned on him and he gave Castle a knowing look.

"Seriously?" He looked at Castle, then to Beckett at her desk, and then back to Castle. "Nice."

All Castle could muster was a weak "heh" and a smile.

Ryan chuckled to himself as he pushed the door to the men's restroom. Before he entered, he turned to Castle and said, "Oh by the way, do you want to join us for dinner tonight? I want you guys to get better acquainted with Jenny."

"Sure thing, bro." He could in turn tease Ryan by telling some embarrassing stories about him to his girlfriend. Or at least threaten to if he was going to expose his and Beckett's precinct escapade. He had some good blackmail material stored up for times like these.

"Great. We're all going to Maggianos. I think Esposito may even bring Lanie."

"Sounds good. We'll meet you there." Even better. More people to tease.

Ryan disappeared into the restroom and Castle retreated to his spot by Beckett's desk.

"Almost ready to go?" he asked.

"Yeah," she replied. "Esposito, you coming?" she turned towards his desk.

"Yep, I'm just going to swing by somewhere before I head to the restaurant. I'll meet you guys there in a bit." He grabbed his jacket and car keys, planning to pick up Lanie so she could join them for dinner too.

"Mkay." As Beckett stood up, Castle held her coat out for her and she slipped into it seamlessly. He put his hand on the small of her back and guided her out as they left the precinct together.

_I am thinking it's a sign  
__That the freckles in our eyes are mirror images  
__And when we kiss they're perfectly aligned_

**A/N: Why do I write so slowly... ugh. Enjoy?**


	18. 3xC

**Chapter 18**

"Ughh..." Beckett groaned as Castle made a U-turn, looking on both sides of the streets for the restaurant, obviously lost. "And this is exactly why I don't let you drive. You get lost and then refuse to ask for directions."

"I swear I know the way," he argued. "I've been there a few times."

"Seriously. Ugh I'm just going to call Ryan and ask him how to get there." She hit the speed dial on her phone and waited for him to pick up. He did after three rings, and they had a short conversation in which he gave them directions to the restaurant.

"Thanks. See you there."

As they pulled into the parking lot 5 minutes later, Beckett remarked, "See. That wasn't so hard now was it?"

"I was close..." Castle defended.

Beckett rolled her eyes at him. "You are absolutely incorrigible." They exited the car simultaneously and started towards the restaurant.

He turned to her and flashed her a meek grin.

"Oh, by the way..." Castle began as they walked side by side. "This probably isn't the best time to tell you, but I wanted to at least give you a heads-up in case Ryan makes any side remarks."

"What is it?" She was curious to his random change of topic.

"Ryan kind of, well, caught me as I was leaving the women's bathroom."

"He WHAT?" Beckett stopped in her tracks, mortified. "You have got to be kidding me," she glared at him.

"Bad timing I guess."

"Oh my god..." she lamented. "I knew it was a bad idea..."

"You seemed to be enjoying yourself at the time," Castle remarked smugly.

The comment earned him piercing daggers from her eyes. "How much did you tell him?"

"Well I didn't say anything to him explicitly..." A small wave of relief washed over her. "But he kind of inferred." The shame came crashing back in a tidal wave. "He looked at you then back to me and just said, 'nice'."

She groaned in response. "We are never doing that again. Ever."

As they were deep in this scandalous conversation, they didn't notice a car coming near them. Esposito drove up to the two, having just arrived in the parking lot along with Lanie.

"Yo," he called out to them. "You two done making googly eyes at each other? I'm starving."

"We're not... Ugh!" Beckett exclaimed and stormed into the restaurant.

"Javier," Lanie castigated, swatting at his arm. "Let them be. Stop teasing them."

"Hey, nice to see you Lanie," Castle greeted. "I'll catch you guys at the table in a moment. Gotta do some damage control right now," he motioned in the direction that Beckett went.

Castle jogged to catch up to Beckett and grabbed her arm, pulling her aside to talk.

"What?" she said in a harsh tone, obviously highly annoyed.

"Hey," he looked at her earnestly. "I'm sorry, Kate." She began to soften at the sincerity of his voice. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen. Next time, we'll follow your rules. I promise, okay?" he finished gently.

Beckett sighed, knowing that he was right. She was the one who directed Ryan to the restrooms while Castle was still in there, not knowing that Ryan would actually go over to talk to him.

"Yeah, okay. I know it's not your fault that he was by the restrooms right as you were leaving. And I'm the one who initiated the rule breaking anyways," she admitted.

"So I'm forgiven?" he asked with a hopeful glint in his eye.

She couldn't stay mad at that face, no matter how hard she tried. "Yes," she smiled as she kissed him briefly. "You're forgiven," she sighed.

They ventured into the dining area and scanned the room, spotting Ryan and Jenny sitting at a table reserved for six. He motioned them over and Rick and Kate walked the distance together.

"Finally, you made it!" Ryan exclaimed.

"Yeah, finally" Rick chuckled.

"You guys remember Jenny, right?" he asked, re-introducing his girlfriend who was sitting next to him.

"Of course. It's great to see you again," Kate answered cheerfully.

"Oh and there's Esposito and Lanie," Ryan commented as he spotted the couple coming into the dining room. They quickly joined the party and sat down next to each other.

"Well, isn't this cozy," Lanie declared to the group after they ordered and the waiter brought them wine. "I didn't expect this to be a triple date."

"This is more of a casual get together, really" Ryan corrected.

"Oh, you two are a couple?" Jenny asked, referring to Rick and Kate. The last time she had been at the precinct, they had insisted that they weren't together.

"We're umm..." Rick glanced sideways at Kate. "Sort of."

"That's great," she smiled genuinely.

"I am so glad they finally got together," Lanie chimed in. She received odd looks from the pair. "What? It's about time. You two have been dancing around each other for about two years now. Can't you see that you're perfect together? Rick and Kate. Castle and Beckett. Caskett."

"Caskett?" Esposito asked.

"If you put their names together, it makes the word Caskett. It's their couple name."

"Huh. Isn't that fitting," Ryan added. "Because you guys solve murders together."

"And what about you two?" Kate asked, trying to shift the conversation off of them. "Esposito and Lanie. You guys are a new couple too."

"And therefore deserve a couple name," Rick finished for her. He thought for a moment, combining words in his head. "I've got it," he declared. "Esplanie. No, no. Lanito!"

The whole table laughed heartily at the made up names.

"Esplanie," Esposito chuckled. "I like it." He leaned over to kiss Lanie on the cheek.

"So Rick, Kevin and I are huge fans of your novels," Jenny said in Castle's direction.

Castle gave Ryan a goofy grin at this tidbit. "Really now? I didn't know Ryan here was such a fanboy."

Ryan shot him a disapproving glare.

"We both love your books," she spoke on behalf of him. "What's it like being a best-selling author?"

"It's best job I could ask for. I feel like it's more play than work, really. I'm essentially getting paid for doing what I love most, letting my imagination free and writing."

"Did you always want to be a writer?"

"Well as a young boy, I already had a wild imagination. And I was quite bookish at that age, so I'd say the combination subtly molded me into a writer. It was a natural course for me to follow."

"You, bookish?" Beckett snorted.

"As hard as it is to imagine," Castle said sarcastically. "I wasn't always this suave, literary rockstar. My days were spent in the public library, exploring the works of Dickens and Sir Conan Doyle."

Beckett smiled at the image of a young, innocent Castle with his nose buried in a book.

"It's not that hard to imagine," she teased.

"Your latest book, Heat Wave, was my favorite by far," Jenny added. "And Nikki Heat is based on Detective Beckett right?"

"Indeed."

"If I may ask, what drew you to her as your lead character? Why did you choose her as your inspiration?"

He paused for a moment. "I didn't choose for her to be my inspiration."

"Really?" Jenny inquired. His answer also caught Beckett's attention, who now looked at him, a puzzled look crossing her features. If he didn't choose her to be his inspiration, then who the hell did?

Castle placed his hand over Beckett's and met her eyes. Blue locked with green, and he held her gaze, telling her everything with just a look. "She inspired me."

Dammit. He could make her swoon with just a couple of words.

Beckett felt heat rush to her cheeks and she turned a slight shade of pink. No one else noticed her blush, thankfully, except for Castle, who continued to gaze at her lovingly.

"When I first met her, I knew she was a mystery I'd never solve." Beckett felt that he was talking directly to her.

"Infinitely intricate and complex," he continued. "Smart, strong, and not to mention extremely sexy. Everything I could ask for in a main character for a series."

"And as his girlfriend," Ryan added as an aside.

Only Esposito heard the comment and snickered at it.

"Why did you pair her up with Rook and get her involved romantically with him? Aren't murder and romance on opposite ends of the spectrum?"

"I can see what you mean. But I incorporate the romance because it adds to the mystery and the suspense of the novel. In the words of Oscar Wilde, 'the mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death.' Plus, the age old advertising trick: sex sells."

And just like that, the immature playboy was back in a heartbeat. How he could make her heart flutter with a gaze and sound extremely profound and intelligent, then manage to steer the conversation to sex was beyond her, but it was one of the things who made him who he was.

By this time, the waiter had brought out their food and served each of them their entrées. They all indulged eagerly in the fine cuisine.

"Mmm, this is delicious" Jenny delighted. "How's your pasta, Kate?"

"Mm, amazing."

"Can I try some?" Rick whispered to her. She nodded and wrapped some pasta around her fork, moving to feed him. He accepted the sample eagerly, engulfing the pasta in one bite and savoring the taste. Kate wiped some sauce from the side of his mouth with her napkin.

"What do you think?"

"Hmm, I like yours better than mine," Rick frowned.

"Yours looks pretty good too."

"Try some?" He reciprocated the action, feeding her some pasta from his plate.

"Mm, that's delicious too," she decided. "Switch?" Kate offered.

"Hmm, let's just share," he grinned.

"Ugh," Esposito groaned from his side of the table.

"What?" Kate asked, disturbed from her food sampling with Rick.

"Seriously. Whispering together and feeding each other? You two are that couple?" he emphasized the words. "Disgusting."

"Disgustingly cute," Lanie defended. "Don't mind him. Continue," she added, unfazed.

Kate blushed and went back to eating her own food. The group spent the rest of the night chatting and teasing each other about their significant others, especially Rick and Kate. They also got to know Jenny better, everyone taking a liking to the girl who finally domesticated Ryan. She was the first to leave, as she had to wake up early the next morning for an appointment. Bidding the group adieu, she gave Ryan a kiss and departed, leaving five in the group.

Right after she had gone, Ryan restarted the conversation with an important announcement. "Hey, I have something to show you all," he said excitedly. He dug into his pocket, producing a small black velvet box. Snapping the box open, the four of his good friends were made witness to what hopefully would soon be Jenny's engagement ring.

A round of congratulations was offered to Ryan, who was boldly taking the next step by declaring his love and pledging to spend the rest of his life with one girl. All caught up in the midst of the happiness and good cheer, they ordered some champagne to celebrate the moment, animatedly toasting to a long life and lasting love for the couple.

As the night dwindled to a close, the friends eventually departed and went their separate ways. Rick took Kate by the hand and led her out of the restaurant, into the warm, late-spring night.

"I can't believe Ryan is going to propose. I'm really happy for him," she smiled as they walked together.

"I know. Me too," he added.

Rick stole a glance at Kate, with love and purpose brimming in his eyes. He hoped that maybe one day he could make her his in the same way, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish forever.

_I don't need anything but you and me  
_'_Cause in your company  
__I feel happy oh so happy and complete_

**A/N: So… my goal of finishing this fic by the end of summer didn't happen. D: Eh… I'll find time to write during the year. Btw, almost at 100 reviews :DD. Just like the title of this fic… hehe. And if you didn't understand the name of this chapter, 3xC, it's obviously a reference to the ep title "3xK," but in this case the C stands for couples (b/c they're on a triple date).**


	19. Already Gone

**Chapter 19**

Gina tapped her high heels impatiently, waiting for the elevator to reach the third floor of the precinct. She didn't belong here at all. This place was crawling with gruff, burly cops and detectives, and yet here she was, in a baby pink coat with perfectly manicured nails, mixed in a crowd of NYPD officers. She stuck out sorely, a delicate blonde beauty in a police precinct of all places.

As the steel doors opened, she scanned the busy bullpen, looking for the immature man who was the reason she was in this place. If he was going to act like a nine year old, then so be it. Two could play at that game. She had no qualms against dragging him out of the precinct in front of all his co-workers, like the little kid he was.

There was no sign of him in the immediate room. When she was unable locate him in the bullpen, she asked a random officer where she could find the author. He looked around and shrugged. Then he pointed to a brunette sitting at a desk at the heart of the room and simply said, "Ask Beckett."

"Okay thanks," she replied.

The female detective almost looked out of place, like she did, in the precinct that was inhabited by practically all men. She blended in somehow though, obviously having been accepted as one of them a while ago. That must not have been easy for a woman to gain such respect in a man's job.

She remembered the name of the detective, Beckett. She was the one who Rick was following around for insight into how the NYPD works. She was the one he was basing his Nikki Heat series off of. She was also the one that occasionally picked up the phone when she called Rick's home phone.

Gina was surprised that a woman whose voice she didn't recognize picked up the phone at the apartment, but when Beckett answered, she simply explained that she was Rick's partner and that he was occupied elsewhere. She didn't think twice about Beckett's presence at his apartment at the time-they were probably just working on a case together or something to that extent. But now that she thought about it, Beckett had picked up his home phone on not one, but a few occasions. Coincidence, maybe. But judging by how pretty she was, Rick was most likely seeing her.

Gina approached the desk and Beckett looked up from her case file.

"Um, hi. Beckett, right? Gina Cowell, we spoke on the phone a few times, remember?" she introduced herself.

"Oh right," Beckett smiled. "Castle's publisher."

"And ex-wife."

Beckett's detective habits instinctively caused her to size up the unfamiliar face and examine her. Average height, blonde, well-dressed, a face that was beautiful enough to always get her what she wanted. Beckett could see how Castle could go after someone like her. She had a bit of power over him, as his publisher, which Castle seemed to be drawn to. Headstrong women. Beckett felt the slightest twinge of jealousy in her stomach when Gina reminded her that she was his ex-wife. Gina had something that he had fallen for and she was lucky enough to have been married to him for some time.

She made these observations in just a few seconds and returned to their conversation. "Ah, yes. What brings you around here?"

"I needed to speak to Rick, and since he isn't taking my calls, I had to come meet him face to face. I swear that man sometimes..." she trailed off.

"Oh yeah, you had called his apartment a few times."

"More than a few. And every time I called, he seemed to be conveniently busy. But not with writing, it seems."

"Well, he's usually with me at the precinct helping solve crimes. Murder cases are bound by a strict timeline. They have to be investigated in the first 48 hours, which is the most crucial time period to the case. After that, it becomes significantly harder to break through and develop a solid case."

"I see," she said thoughtfully. "It seems that lately, though, that's all he's been doing. He's hasn't written much in a timely manner since he's been following you around..." Gina noted.

"I keep telling him to focus more on his writing so he can avoid conflicts like this, but he refuses to listen," Beckett shook her head.

"You, of all people, should be able to get him to write, shouldn't you?"

"Why do you say that?" Beckett questioned.

"Well first of all, you're his muse, so you serve as his inspiration. You're also his 'partner' at work, so to say," she added air quotes around the word. "So you can just order him to stay home when you have a case that you can handle by yourself. That way he can have more time to focus and work on his book."

"True," Beckett admitted. "But he never listens to my instructions so he just ends up doing whatever he wants. I can order him to stay home, but I can't actually force him to."

"I couldn't help but notice that you picked up his home phone on more than a few occasions..." Gina said cautiously. "Are you just over there frequently or are you two..."

Beckett knew what she was hinting. She wanted to know if she was seeing him and whether their relationship was a distraction to him.

"I don't really think that's any of your business."

"You're right it isn't, but not if it's keeping him from his writing."

"I think Castle is able to maintain a relationship and still make the deadlines for his book. What about your relationship with him? Did that distract him from writing?"

"Fair enough. Sorry for asking. So where can I find him?"

"He's probably either at the vending machines or in the break room making coffee which is over there." Beckett pointed in the direction of the break room.

"Thanks. I'll let you get back to your work," Gina said as she left. Beckett could hear the clicks of her high heels against the hardwood floor fading as she got further away from her desk.

There was something about Gina that didn't mesh well with Beckett. Obviously, it was partially because she had insinuated that Beckett was nothing but a distraction to Castle. But another part of it was how she did it so nicely and politely, feigning innocence while hinting at something ugly. She was essentially telling Beckett to back off, as if she owned Castle and the rights to what he did. Beckett wondered what he loved or used to love about her. Whatever it was, it was enough to get him to ask her to marry him. She brushed this thought aside and re-focused her attention on her work.

Gina eventually found Castle in the break room. He was facing away from her, busily making two cappuccinos on a high quality looking espresso machine.

"Rick," she called from behind, to grab his attention.

Rick's eyes widened immediately when he recognized the voice. He quickly spun around to acknowledge the intruder.

"Gina," he greeted with false excitement. "What are you doing here?"

"You would know if you bothered taking any of my calls."

"Oh that..." he answered slowly.

"I know you've been avoiding me because you're really far behind on your book."

"But you found me."

"Figured you'd be here, still following around and drooling over that detective lady of yours."

Castle chose to disregard that comment. "What do you want?"

"Remember that book tour of yours? To Europe?"

"Yeah. It's next month. I haven't forgotten. What about it?"

"Well it's been moved up due to scheduling issues. Your flight is tonight."

"What? So soon?" Castle exclaimed. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"I tried, remember? You have at least 10 missed calls from me on your phone..."

He checked his missed call records, and indeed there were several from his ex-wife and publisher.

"I'd suggest you get packing as soon as possible."

Castle sighed audibly. "Right..."

"The flight is at 1:00 this afternoon. Try to be on time for once in your life."

"I'll make an effort to."

"Why doesn't that sound reassuring to me?" she asked rhetorically.

"Come on, you can trust me a little bit. What, are you going to come over and supervise my packing?"

"Actually, if you don't mind, I'd like to come over and see how much you've gotten done on Naked Heat. And then after you pack, we can share a taxi to the airport to catch our flight."

Castle knew she wouldn't take no for an answer, so he had to go along with the plan.

"Okay, I guess so."

"Can we go now? You know I like getting to the airport early in case it takes a while to get through security."

"Umm okay. But I need to tell Kate that I'm leaving first."

Gina didn't let that slip past her. They were apparently on a first name basis.

"Sure you do. Go ahead. Oh, and can I have one of these coffees?"

Before he could protest, she had already taken a sip out of what was supposed to be Beckett's coffee.

"Mm... Delicious."

A half-hearted smile was frozen on his face. She drank Beckett's coffee. Oh what fresh hell would be upon him for that.

Castle exited the break room with Gina to tell Beckett about the sudden change in plans. They walked side by side until Castle told her to wait for him as he walked over to Beckett to talk to her.

He found her at her desk, reviewing some notes from a file. She was waiting for the representative to come in to the precinct to talk to them about Grayson Pierce.

"Hey," Castle began tentatively. "Any luck on the case?"

"Nope, still waiting for that rep. I see you talked to Gina?" Beckett noticed that as they were walking out of the break room, Gina was walking near him and touching his arm tenderly, almost possessively. Gina was just a little bit too close for comfort to her taste. Beckett didn't like that. She also noticed that Castle was only holding one cup of coffee.

"Yeah, about that. So I had this book tour that was supposed to be next month..."

"Book tour? I didn't know you still did those."

"Well I have to since I've started a new series. Reading my books, signing autographs, advertising the upcoming movie, plugging the next installment in the series. You know, the works."

She knew perfectly well. Beckett had been to more than one of his book signings and readings.

"Okay, what about this book tour?"

"Gina just told me that it got moved up because of some scheduling issues, and so I have to leave tonight."

"Oh..." she was slightly startled at the sudden news. "How long will you be gone?"

"Umm, I don't know. It depends on how many countries we're visiting,"

"Countries?" she emphasized the plural.

"Yeah, the tour is in Europe."

"Oh wow..." she trailed off. He was leaving for another continent, just like that?

"So while I'm gone, will you take care of Alexis and maintain the apartment?"

"Of course." It was the least she could do in return for him letting her live there since her own apartment blew up.

"Rick, we should really get going. Don't want to miss our flight," Gina called from behind.

"She's going with you?" Beckett said quietly to Castle.

"Apparently so..."

Beckett sighed. She couldn't stop Gina from going with him. That would be a direct interference with his work, and she had no right to make such a request.

"Well then, you two should get going..." Beckett said softly. She took a sip of the coffee he had placed on her desk. Tasting it, she made a face at him. "This isn't my coffee."

"Yeah, sorry about that. Gina kind of drank yours."

Beckett frowned and glanced over Castle's shoulder to see Gina waiting impatiently for him.

"So I'll see you later okay?" Castle said earnestly. "I'm not sure when though..."

"Yeah. Have a good trip," she bid him farewell with a slightly hollow voice.

"Thanks." Castle leaned in to kiss her on the lips but Beckett turned before he could, so his lips met her cheek. He figured that she didn't want people to see them kissing in the precinct, especially in front of his ex-wife. Castle didn't think much about it, but as he stood up to leave, he couldn't help but notice that her demeanor had turned a little gloomy.

He walked over to Gina who proceeded to loop her arm in his.

"Ready to go?" she asked gently.

"Yeah."

Gina looked at Beckett and smiled at her. "Thanks for your help."

Castle turned around once more to say goodbye.

"Bye Kate."

She could only watch, powerless, as he turned and walked out of the precinct, arm in arm with the woman who stole her both her coffee and her boyfriend, until they disappeared out of her sight.

_There's really no way to reach me_  
_'Cause I'm already gone_

**A/N: Does this feel like a certain season two finale to anyone? :( Sigh... lately I've been getting kind of lazy with writing because I've been swamped with school. Hopefully after I'm done with this semester I'll be able to write some more. Dunno why I'm updating right now when I'm supposed to be writing 7 more essays for my lit final, but this chapter has actually been written for a while. To anyone who is still reading my story after such long hiatus(es), thank you so much :). Review?**


	20. Case Closed

**Chapter 20**

She decided to proceed through the day as if it were any other one, which it would be for the most part. The only difference was that he wouldn't be around her all the time, watching her as she examined the murder board, interrogated her suspects, and followed leads. She wouldn't have someone to bounce ideas off of or to build theory with. No worries, she was more than able to handle the cases on her own.

Kate thought of it as if they were just taking a break from each other. A vacation, if you will. They had been spending a lot of time together, and maybe this was the type of break they needed.

None of these thoughts stopped her from feeling slightly lonely, though. It was stupid of her to be missing him already, but she felt like the balance of her schedule had been messed up.

He wouldn't be there when she woke up to greet her good morning. They wouldn't share their usual breakfast and car ride to the precinct together. He wouldn't be there to make her a steaming cup of coffee, just the way she liked it, as he did every day.

Now as Beckett fumbled with the espresso machine, she realized that she was so used him, to the point that it irritated her that he wasn't there to make her coffee perfectly, the way only he knew how. No one else had ever bothered to learn how to make her coffee. Come to think of it, she never actually explicitly told him how to make it; he had figured out the perfect recipe by trial and error, perhaps.

"Need a hand with that?" a deep voice called from behind.

"No thanks, I can figure it out," Beckett replied without looking up. As a hot cloud of steam gushed out of the darned contraption, she became more and more frustrated and irritated with it. She was also highly irritated that though Castle wasn't even present today, he was still the reason she was grouchy.

"You sure about that?" He cocked his head sideways as he watched her try in vain to get the espresso machine to work. "Here let me." Seeing as she couldn't operate the coffer maker properly, the man stepped in to help. He twisted a few knobs and adjusted a lever and suddenly, the machine decided to work like a charm.

"Here you go." He grinned as he handed her a steaming cup of joe.

When Beckett finally looked up at the man, she was surprised to find that she didn't recognize him. Beckett knew just about everybody in the homicide department, yet he was an unfamiliar face. He was quite good looking too, with hazel-colored hair, trustworthy eyes, and a warm smile. If she had met him before, she definitely would have remembered his name.

"Thanks," she mumbled a quick word of gratitude, slightly embarrassed that she couldn't make the coffee for herself.

As Beckett exited the break room, she noticed a man in a business suit entering the floor and quickly surmised that he was the representative that she had been waiting for. It always took so long to get in contact with someone with an adequate rank from such large corporations. And bringing one in to talk to was another whole endeavor in itself.

Esposito swooped in to update her on the case. "Finally got someone from Apple to talk to us about their software engineer."

"Great, thanks."

"We've also brought someone in from robbery to join in on the case."

"Why's that?"

"Apparently, Grayson had a sensitive Apple prototype in his possession. That's why his place was ransacked-someone really wanted to get their hands on the latest Apple gadget."

Beckett raised her eyebrows inquisitively. "Hmm, okay. Where's he now?"

"He'll be in the interrogation room with you."

"Gotcha."

Beckett grabbed some files off her desk and headed to the interrogation rooms.

"Thank you for joining us today, Mr. Stevens." She quickly sized him up: grey, finely pressed suit, clean shaven, stoic demeanor.

"I'm Detective Beckett, the lead homicide detective on this case. And this is..." She looked over to the man sitting next to her, the detective from the robbery division. This time, she recognized his face. It was the guy that helped her with the espresso machine.

"Detective Demming from robbery," he introduced himself. "I understand Grayson had a prototype that was stolen from his apartment? That may be why he was killed."

"Yes, Grayson had the latest iPhone prototype in his possession. The one that hasn't been released yet. Do you know how much our competitors would pay to get their hands on out technology?"

"Well, we're very sorry for your loss," Beckett consoled in a sarcastic tone.

"We're deeply grieved for the loss of one of our employees, but the prototype is of importance at this moment."

"We'll see what we can do to find your device," Demming stated.

"In the meantime, do you know anyone who would want to hurt Grayson? Did he have any problems or enemies at work?"

Mr. Stevens took a moment to think. "No, we never had any complaints about him. He was meeting deadlines and doing a fine job."

"What about personal problems?"

"I don't think Grayson had a girlfriend and he wasn't close to any of his relatives."

"So the only reason someone would want him dead is for the prototype?"

"Detective Beckett, the technology industry is highly competitive. It's all about having the latest technology first."

"But is it enough to kill for?"

"You tell me."

Beckett looked down at her notes one last time and quickly shuffled through her mental checklist. They covered all the basics and it looked like they wouldn't get much more useful information from him.

"Okay well, thanks for coming down Mr. Stevens. We appreciate your cooperation."

"And if you find our iPhone?"

"We'll let you know if anything comes up," Demming assured him.

The two detectives left the interrogation room. Beckett walked over to the murder board to make a few notes. She scribbled some words and phrases next to the motives list.

"Murdered over a phone? That seems a little extreme to me," she thought out loud.

Demming, who was watching her, nodded in agreement. "Seems unlikely, but that's all we have to go on right now. I'll put some feelers out to find that prototype. And I'll check out Apple's competitors to see if any of them have suddenly made incredible advancements in their technology in the past few days."

"Good idea."

Esposito came up from behind and skimmed the murder board as Demming left to make some phone calls.

"The dude was killed for the newest iPhone? I knew they were to die for, but not literally."

"Actually..." Ryan interjected, with his nose buried in a file, as he joined Beckett and Esposito in front of the murder board.

"I was looking through Apple's employee history and found something quite interesting. Just last year a Chinese engineer who worked in a factory that produces parts for Apple products committed suicide after he lost an iPhone prototype."

"So I guess it is to die for. And maybe to kill for too..." Esposito commented.

"There were rumors that he was hassled by some people for losing the iPhone, but Apple didn't release anything detailing it. Guess they wanted to keep it hush-hush."

"We need some details on the missing device before we can get any other leads. That's the best we've got right now..." Beckett sighed. "Did you get anything on  
Riordan?"

"Guy's been MIA. Neighbors haven't seen him since that party at the Haus."

"Seems like he's hiding something. Keep trying to find him. If he's the killer, he's probably making a run for it."

"We're on it."

A few hours later, Demming approached Beckett at her desk.

"Got anything?" she looked up and asked.

"I believe I may have cracked your case," Demming smiled widely.

"So you found the missing device?"

"More than that. I was checking out some tech blogs to see if any iPhone news had leaked up recently. One prominent website actually got ahold of a prototype, the one that was stolen from Grayson, and had done a tear-down of it to check out the new specs. So I looked up a list of the people that run the site and a name popped up that looked familiar. Chris Riordan. He's one of the editors and web designers. I remembered the name from your murder board."

"So Riordan was the last person to see our vic alive and he's an editor for the site that got ahold of the stolen iPhone prototype?"

"Yeah. I have a strong feeling that he's our guy."

"Definitely. Ryan and Esposito are tracking him down now. Great work, Demming" she commended him. "Thanks for your help."

"No problem. Let me know if you guys find him?"

"Will do."

As he turned to leave, Beckett's phone rang and she picked it up and answered instinctively.

"Beckett."

"Yeah, hey it's Ryan. We found your guy."

"Really? Where?"

"We got a hit on his credit card and found him camping out at a motel downtown."

"Good job guys. Bring him in. We have evidence against him and I think we can squeeze out a confession."

"Sure thing."

She hung up and called out to Demming's retreating figure.

"Hey Demming. Looks like my boys found our guy. If you stick around a bit, you can sit in on the interrogation."

"Sounds great."

Half an hour later, Chris Riordan was sitting on a cold metal chair, contained in the interrogation room as Beckett and her team watched from behind the glass. He fidgeted nervously, knowing that this wouldn't end well for him.

Beckett eyed her suspect and assessed his character. He was a software engineer so he probably spent most of his time behind a computer. She could guess his type. Nerdy and possibly socially awkward. She couldn't see someone like him being a cold blooded killer though. If he actually was the murderer, she could pry it from him pretty quickly. He would be easy to crack.

"Shall we?" Beckett asked Demming.

"After you," he said as he motioned to the door.

Beckett entered, sat down, and began her usual introduction.

"Now Chris, I think you know why you're here. Where were you two nights ago, from 10 till midnight?"

"I was uh... out with some friends. At a bar."

"Which one?"

"I don't remember. That night was pretty hazy. I guess it got out of hand."

"Really? Well I have witnesses that confirm you were at Gourmet Haus Staudt with Grayson Pierce."

"I guess I could have been..." he answered sheepishly.

"Witnesses also confirm that you left at the same time as him. And he was murdered shortly after at his apartment."

"An important prototype was stolen from him which then appeared on a tech website that you work for," Demming added in.

"Tell me what happened," Beckett prodded. "Did you murder him for the device?"

"I... I... It was an accident," Chris trembled. "I took his keys at the bar and went to his apartment to find it. When he got back he saw that I was trashing his place so we got into a fight. I pushed him too hard and he lost his balance and hit his head on the corner of the table. I didn't mean to kill him..."

"So where's the prototype now?"

"I found it in his pocket so I took it and left. Then I sold it to the tech blog I work for and flipped. God, I didn't mean to kill him. "

Beckett looked at Demming with a knowing case-closed look.

She pushed a confession sheet towards Chris and gathered her files to leave.

Outside, Demming complimented her. "Nice job in there. You got him to confess really quickly."

"Yeah, he was an easy case. Definitely not the cold blooded killer type. Who would purposely kill another person over a stupid phone?"

"Well the technology industry is practically cutthroat now of days. People would pay a few grand just to have the latest product leaked."

"Yeah well some people take things like this to the extreme."

They walked over to the murder board and Beckett started clearing it off.

"So I guess I'll follow up with the prototype to see that Apple gets it back. There will probably be a lawsuit over the theft. Other than that, I guess the case is closed."

"Mhm. It was nice working with you," she smiled. "And thanks for help with the espresso machine."

"If you'd like, I could treat you to some coffee sometime, so that you don't have to deal with that machine."

"Umm... sure," Beckett agreed. She scribbled down her number and handed him the slip of paper.

"I guess I'll see you around?" Demming asked.

"Yeah," she smiled softly. "See you."

He headed towards the elevator to return to his floor. After she finished packing up the files for the Grayson Pierce case, she sat down to think about what she just did. She just gave another guy her number even though she had a thing with Castle, whom she missed.

They were never officially a couple, Beckett rationalized, and Demming helped her to take her mind off of missing him. Besides, it was just a coffee date, nothing serious. Beckett brushed these thoughts aside and tried not to think of Castle, who was thousands of miles away from her right now.

_So far away from where you are_  
_'Cause miles have torn us worlds apart_  
_And I miss you_

**A/N: So... I'm just going to leave this here and pretend that it hasn't been nearly an entire year since I've updated.**


	21. Thinking Over

Chapter 21

When Kate woke up one morning two weeks later, she reached out to the empty space next to her, a little confused as to why she was alone in such a big bed. Then she remembered where Rick was, probably with his pretty, blonde ex-wife slash publisher at a fancy five-star hotel in Europe. The image of them with their arms linked together as they left the precinct flashed in her mind, but she quickly dismissed it. Nothing would happen between Rick and Gina; she knew he wouldn't do that to her. She was just being unnecessarily paranoid and jealous right now, which was foolish of her. He'd be back sooner than she realized and everything would go back to how it was supposed to be between them.

It was a Saturday morning so Kate didn't have to go to work, which put her at a loss for what to do. After her usual morning routine, Kate padded down the stairs softly to an empty kitchen. Alexis was usually up around this time having breakfast, but a post-it on the fridge explained her absence.

_Had breakfast, went shopping with friends. Be back in the afternoon. -Alexis_

This was reassurance to her of the teen's responsible nature. Alexis always informed Kate of her whereabouts which quelled her nerves. Otherwise, Kate would sometimes get anxious when she didn't know where Alexis was. Must be her instinctive over-protectiveness.

Kate rummaged around the kitchen and fixed up a quick plate of scrambled eggs and some fresh fruit. She looked around for the newspaper and then remembered that it was always Rick who brought it in every morning. She hopped down from the high chair and made a brief trek to the front door and procured the paper.

Back at the kitchen island, Kate flipped through the pages and skimmed the headlines idly until she reached the classified ads, which gave her pause. Several advertisements for apartments around New York City were listed and she scanned through them intently. Odd. She didn't read the newspaper on a daily basis, but for a while now she couldn't remember seeing ads for apartments in the classified section. In fact, the classified section was usually missing altogether. She pondered at this minor mystery for a bit. Then Kate thought back to an exchange between herself and Rick many a morning ago.

_One morning a few days after moving into Rick's apartment, Kate woke up to the sounds and aromas of breakfast being cooked. She followed her nose to the kitchen where Rick was making pancakes. _

"_Good morning" Rick greeted Kate when she entered the kitchen._

"_Morning." Kate said as she hopped up onto the high chair. She watched with fascination as he flipped the pancakes skillfully._

"_Sleep well I hope?" he asked._

"_Yes, very." Kate looked around the countertop and picked up the newspaper. When she came upon the ads for apartments, she picked up a red pen to circle potential new apartments that she might be interested in. _

"_Whatcha doing?" Rick asked as he plated the pancakes. Making his way around to her side of the counter, Rick set a plate of breakfast food in front of Kate and one in the spot next to her for himself._

"_Just looking through the classified ads for apartments" Kate replied without looking up._

_Rick frowned. "In a newspaper? How old-fashioned."_

"_Aren't you the one who always says newspapers are the last vestige of old era journalism?"_

_Rick paused for a moment. "Good point. But why the rush?"_

"_Hmm… Don't want to overstay my welcome."_

"_It's only been a few days. You know you are more than welcome to stay here as long as you'd like." She glanced up as Rick gave her a heartwarming smile and held her gaze. "Anyways, it's breakfast time so dig in."_

"_Thanks." She folded up the newspaper and put it away. "Mmm…" Kate breathed. "Delicious. You make amazing pancakes" she said with a grin.  
_

After that morning Kate noticed that whenever she was browsing for new apartments, Rick would try to distract her from her task or change the subject. She only took the initiative to look for apartments on occasion, but when she made the time to do so, the classified ads were usually missing from the paper. Now that she was the one who picked up the paper in the mornings, she suspected that Rick had been specifically taking out the ads when he brought it in. Kate finally realized what Rick was trying to do. He didn't want her to leave. At least not so soon, she surmised. Kate rolled her eyes at the thought of Rick doing something so juvenile. When she finished scanning the paper, Kate made a mental note and resolved to check out some apartments later.

Setting aside the newspaper, Kate picked up her phone to look for any missed calls or messages. A few emails and texts, but none from Rick. She hadn't heard from him since he left for Europe which would normally worry her, but he had been actively posting on his Facebook page and twitter. Alexis also mentioned she had talked to him briefly when he called to check in on her. He had informed Alexis that he was fine and enjoying his trip so far.

Kate frowned at the fact that he hadn't called or even messaged her at all. She assumed that it was because he was busy travelling and attending events, but he couldn't even be bothered to send her a text? She really wanted to know how he was doing.

Curiosity got the better of her and Kate decided to check his twitter. She would never admit that she followed him on twitter, amongst the other fan pages and communities of his of which she was a member or subscriber. She scrolled down through some of his tweets that had been posted in the last few days. They were less numerous than usual and lacked his typical humorous ponderings. Instead, they linked to websites of the places that were hosting his signings and pictures of the events he had attended. She figured that he was using these tweets to plug his book series and garner press over the events he was going to. Kate clicked on a few photos to see what he had been up to.

Most were pictures from book signings and movie promoting parties being held in his name. She shook her head at all the women fawning over him as if he were some major celebrity. _Great,_ she thought. _As if he needed more of an ego inflation._ Kate continued to look through the pictures that he posted on Facebook. Her heart sank when she came across photos of him in the midst of an entourage of women, signing their chests. Still more were of him as he entered a different party with a beautiful woman on one arm and Gina on the other.

Kate turned off her phone and sighed. So that's what he's been up to, partying like a playboy. Working with him at the precinct on a nearly everyday basis had made her forget this side of him. His true nature. Sometimes he could be really caring and sincere when he was there for her to lean on, which is what made her believe that he could be a genuine, loyal person. But these pictures were a stark reminder that he was still a playboy and womanizer at heart.

What was she doing with him? Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew that he hadn't really changed and that getting involved with him would inevitably end up in a messy fallout. Yet Kate had ignored her better conscience and let herself indulge in temptation, and all for what? A few nights of casual albeit mind-blowing sex in exchange for messing up their friendship and partnership. Was it really worth it?

Kate really wished that he could change, but it was just who he was. She didn't belong with him. She had no place in his flashy, fast-paced world filled with parties and endless fun. Why would he want to give that up for a boring settled life with her? Kate didn't belong in his world and she knew that now. Soon enough he would tire of her and she would just be another notch on his bedpost. She had to end things with him, the sooner the better. Kate let out a heavy sigh at the thought of what it would mean for their friendship and partnership. If he chose to not work with her anymore, then it would just prove that all he was ever interested in was sleeping with her and nothing more.

Kate was a little bit angry that Rick could be so heartless, but mostly disappointed in herself because she should have known better. She swore that she would never be another one of his conquests, yet like all the rest she had fallen for his charming ways. All it took was that stupid book dedication and for him to call her extraordinary. And him being there for her as she searched for her mother's killer and offering her a home after her apartment was destroyed. She really believed that he cared about her. Maybe he did, but that didn't mean he would want anything more than a physical relationship. How could she have been so naïve to think he would change just for her?

It was probably her fault for consenting to a friends with benefits relationship without clearly defining her intentions in the first place. Although Kate agreed to a sex only relationship, she had secretly harbored hope that it might become something more. She wanted to see if he was interested in having a serious relationship and if she could trust him with her heart. Kate usually was good about protecting her heart, but somehow Rick managed to tear down those walls and make her really care about him back. She should have known from the start that developing feelings for someone who wasn't looking for a committed relationship would surely lead to a broken heart.

With a dull ache in her chest, Kate trotted upstairs to change. She decided to head to the precinct to take her mind off of Rick Castle, playboy extraordinaire. She figured a good workout would help her relieve her stress and give her a clear mind to think about things. Sparring always helped her take out her anger and alleviate some built up tension.

The precinct gym was empty when Kate arrived, probably because it was a Saturday. Putting on her gloves, Kate approached the punching bag and mentally prepared herself to attack. She lined herself up with the bag and got into proper position. Then she began to throw quick intermittent jabs at the bag, alternating left and right, with extra force than usual. She focused her anger and passion into her punches and let herself release the emotions that were clouding her mind.

Kate was so concentrated on her punches that she didn't bother to take notice when someone else entered the gym. The fellow cop watched her for a few seconds, admiring her physique and intense focus, then moved towards a pull up bar. He finished off a couple of chin ups and then approached her.

"You need someone to steady your bag," Demming said.

Kate stopped and looked up, recognizing the familiar voice. "You offering?"

"Yeah sure."

Demming stood behind the bag and held it steady as Kate went for another round. He watched with interest as she delivered powerful punch after punch. After the three minute session Kate took a break, panting to catch her breath.

"Thanks again for helping with the case. Reading up on those tech blogs was a really smart move. And finding the stolen phone was a huge help too. You basically solved the case for us."

Demming smiled. "Well finding what's lost is my specialty. You're the brains behind solving murders. And the brawns it seems."

Kate chuckled. "Still, you were instrumental to the case."

"It was my pleasure." Demming paused for a moment. "You know, you never did call me back to take up my offer."

Confusion crossed Kate's face.

"Coffee?" Demming prompted.

"Oh right. Sorry, I meant to call but I've been busy."

"Ah, okay. I get it."

"Get what?" she inquired.

"If you're not interested or not available, you can just say so. No offense taken."

"No, it's not that. My partner's out of town, so I've been working cases by myself and I've spent my spare time looking for a new apartment."

"Oh, well if you're too busy then…"

"I can find some time. Coffee's on me since you helped me with the espresso machine."

Demming smiled at the recollection of her fumbling with the coffee machine.

"Okay then. Mind if I go for a round?" he said, motioning to the punching bag.

"Yeah, sure" Kate replied. "Or do you want to spar?"

"Hmm… I don't know. I'm a bit rusty."

"Well you've got size, weight, and muscle on me and I'm a bit winded from my rounds. How much more of an advantage do you need?" she teased.

He cocked an eyebrow at her. "Alright then."

Demming wrapped his hands with tape while Kate switched out her gloves. When they were both prepped, they stepped onto the mat and met at the center.

"Hmm… Why don't we make this interesting?" Demming asked. "Loser buys the other dinner."

Kate grinned, accepting the challenge. "You're on."

She made the first move, a quick one-two jab which Demming blocked. Kate deftly ducked down as he immediately returned an offensive blow. They returned to their starting stances and danced around each other. Kate made a left jab then a right hook, which Demming ducked to avoid. She sent a kick to his right shoulder on his way up but missed as Demming effectively maneuvered away from it. He tried a right hook which Kate caught mid-arc. She spun past his outstretched hand and elbowed him in the abs with a loud grunt. Demming pushed her away and resumed a defensive position.

"Wow, it's been a while for me." Demming admitted.

"I'll try to be gentle," Kate taunted.

The two exchanged more punches and jabs accompanied by teasing banter.

"So why are you looking for a new apartment?" Demming inquired during a lull in the fight.

"It's a long story." Kate replied with another two punches and a few jabs to his midsection. She finished off the combo with a backwards kick which sent him to the floor. "Maybe I can tell you about it over that dinner you're going to owe me" Kate smirked over his fallen figure.

"We'll see about that." Demming quickly flipped over and used his feet to catch Kate's, toppling her over backwards. She shrieked with surprise as she fell onto the mat and had the wind knocked out of her slightly. They each spent a few seconds to recover from the abuse of the previous hits.

As Kate started to get up, Demming took the opportunity to flip her mid-somersault and then pinned her to the ground.

"Don't get too cocky" Demming breathed, inches away from her face. They locked eyes for a moment as a result of their close proximity.

Kate laughed and used this momentary pause to swing her body, flipping the two of them over so that she now pinned him to the mat. She held his arm in a painful lock. "You were saying?"

"Ow, ow. Alright, I don't think I can take much more of this. I admit defeat" Demming forfeited.

She released his arm and stood up, offering him a hand. "Not bad for someone who hasn't done this in a while."

"Yeah, well I need some practice. I definitely want a rematch sometime."

"Hmm… I'm game."

"So it seems I owe you a dinner. Are you free tonight?"

"Yeah I think so. Will that be enough time for your wounds and your ego to heal?" she said smartly.

"I think I'll survive. Pick you up at 7?"

"Okay. See you then."

Demming flashed her a killer smile then headed towards the locker rooms. Kate sighed to herself contently as she watched him leave, still trying to regain her breath. The sparring session left her in a much better mood than this morning. She hadn't expected to meet Demming here, much less agree to go on a date with him, but what the hell? He made her smile and helped her take her mind off Castle. Plus he had a great body and a gorgeous smile. He was exactly what she needed, a fresh start with someone new, someone real. No plays or misguided intentions. Demming seemed genuine and trustworthy and was probably looking for an actual relationship. He was someone she could have a foreseeable future with.

_You and I walk a fragile line  
__I have known it all this time  
__But I never thought I'd live to see it break_

**A/N: Merry (late) Christmas and happy New Year! Here's my gift to you. **


	22. Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop

**Chapter 22**

Richard Castle was being held hostage. The captor? His ex-wife and publisher Gina Cowell. No, he wasn't being held prisoner against his will in the literal manner per se, but he felt like he was confined to his hotel room, stranded and alone in a foreign country.

Gina had taken his phone away from him as a punishment for falling so far behind on his latest manuscript. She was right in that it was a major distraction from his writing because most of his apps were games or entertainment, but it also meant that he wouldn't be able to call Alexis or Kate to check up on them. Rick was allowed to use his computer, but without internet access, another punishment In addition to the restricted cellphone use. Gina had specifically asked the hotel staff not to give him the Wi-Fi password so that he could focus solely on his writing. Unfortunately for Rick, he didn't speak any French so he wasn't able to get the password on his own. No phone service and no internet. To Rick, being cut off by all means of communication was equivalent to being held hostage.

It was a month into his book tour and Rick had grown tired of the endless book signings, release parties, and other events that Gina had planned for his grand Europe tour. He used to love going to the signings, being the life of the party and the center of attention of throngs of beautiful foreign women. But night after night of the same feigned interest and insincere adoration, they became as predictable as they were meaningless. What used to be one of his favorite perks of being a famous writer now seemed like a chore.

To make matters even more difficult, instead of being allowed to explore the city and sight see, Rick had to use his free time to catch up on writing the next chapters of Naked Heat. To be in such historically and culturally rich cities and denied the freedom to indulge in the culture was his punishment. Served him right for procrastinating for months.

He was getting restless from being confined to the hotel room for so long. Gina was out finalizing preparations for whatever event he was to attend that night, so Rick decided to go out and get some fresh air. He grabbed his laptop bag and hotel key and headed outside.

The bustling morning streets of Paris were different than those of New York. The aura of the city felt more relaxed, as opposed to the fast-paced, lively spirit of the Big Apple. Instead of emotionless steel grey skyscrapers towering over the city, small shops of warm colors affecting a vintage, romantic climate lined the narrow streets of Paris. It was like another world entirely. Rick took in the sights and sounds, grateful for a change of scenery. He absentmindedly traveled a few blocks, relishing the fresh morning air and soaking up the natural sunlight.

At the corner of the street, Rick happened upon a small coffee shop. _How stereotypical_, he thought. _An author writing in a small French café_.But it would suffice. It was definitely better than the solitary confines of the hotel room. The aromas of freshly baked pastries and brewing coffee were enough to tempt him to venture inside. Rick ordered a cup of coffee and a chocolate croissant for breakfast and chose a small table by the window to sit.

As he enjoyed his pastry, Rick took the time to participate in one of his favorite past times, people watching. As a writer, Rick loved watching people go about their days and wondering what tale lay behind their lives. He often made up little stories about them, about what their lives were like and why they were there at that particular moment. It was especially interesting now because the people of France led entirely different lifestyles than New Yorkers.

Through the café window, Rick saw people biking to unknown destinations, others carrying fresh baguettes under their arms for later consumption, and some feeding pigeons on the street. Right outside the café at an outdoor table, he saw two people garrulously chatting over some coffee, perhaps some long-lost friends catching up for years past or just passing along the latest juicy gossip.

Rick returned his gaze from outside the window back into the shop, where he spotted a couple a few tables away sharing an intimate breakfast together. They were a young couple, and very clearly in love. He watched as the woman fed a small piece of pastry to the man, giggling when he sucked her fingers. The man leaned over the small table and whispered something in her ear that made her smile, and he kissed her cheek. He caressed her hand gently as they exchanged words in the language of love. It was like a scene out of a romance film. That's what they say about Paris and France. For lovers only.

Rick sighed. Seeing that young couple fawn over each other made him miss Kate. He wished she were here to enjoy breakfast with him in this quaint little French café. He wished she were here to share the beauty of France together with him. She would absolutely love vacationing here. He found himself daydreaming about what they could do together in this exotic country. Taste wine together, visit the Riviera. _Maybe one day_, he thought to himself. Rick turned away from watching the couple and decided to focus on his work. He pulled his laptop out from his bag and opened it up to begin writing.

Opening up a nearly blank document, Rick scanned the seemingly random words and phrases that served to outline his ideas for the chapter. He had all the ideas in his head; the tedious part was getting it onto paper and describing the character's thoughts and actions in adequate, captivating detail. Rick drummed his fingers on the table. He was still thinking about Kate.

He hadn't seen or even talked to her in a month. Rick briefly chatted with Alexis when Gina allowed him one phone call last week. Alexis said everything at home was great and that Kate was doing fine. He gave Alexis a short message to relay to Kate, but Rick really wished he could talk to her in person and hear her voice. He missed working with her every day. Days without cases to ponder over and solve with her were dull indeed.

Rick opened up his pictures folder partially out of boredom and partially because he just wanted to see a picture of Kate. He scrolled through his digital photo album until he finally came upon a picture of the two of them. Rick smiled as he remembered that memory.

_Rick was lying on the couch playing on his phone when Kate came back from work one day. She set down her purse and keys with a heavy sigh._

"_Long day?" he asked._

"_Couldn't find any leads in our case," Kate frowned._

_Rick knew that the lack of investigative avenues in a case always frustrated Kate, which often led her to a stressed, irritated state similar to the one she was in now._

_Rick sat up, taking Kate's hand and guiding her to sit on the couch next to him._

"_It's okay. I'm sure you'll find a break tomorrow," he soothed her gently, leaning closer to her. Kate closed her eyes as Rick kissed her temple. When he pulled back, he examined her face, still wrought with stress from work. _

"_Hey," Rick started. "Let's take a picture." He took out his phone._

"_A picture of what?" Kate asked._

"_Of us. We don't have any pictures together." Rick pulled her onto his lap and opened up the camera app on his phone. Smiling, he pressed his head next to hers and snapped a picture._

"_I'm not really in the mood," Kate grumbled._

"_Come on, just one nice picture," Rick begged. He kissed her cheek as she rolled her eyes, snapping another picture of them._

_She looked at him trying to make his best puppy dog face. Kate couldn't help but grin. "Fine just one," she conceded, smiling into the camera._

Rick smiled as he flipped through those three pictures. They described the evolution of their relationship so well. The first picture of his goofy grin and her annoyed frown illustrated their relationship when they first met. Remembering how much Kate used to hate him and how much she liked him now always brought a smile to his face. The second picture, of Rick kissing her cheek and Kate rolling her eyes, was their relationship when they first got together. And the third with two genuine smiles was of them now, hopefully. Opening up Photoshop, Rick quickly stitched the pictures together into a wallpaper and set it as his desktop background. Now he could see Kate's beautiful smile every time he opened his laptop.

Rick finished the last bit of his croissant. The chocolate pastry satiated his sweet tooth, but he was craving something else entirely. Kate. All he wanted was to be at home and cuddle up with her on the couch. And smell her hair. And kiss her. All he wanted was her. He usually did get a little homesick on these trips, but now that he finally had someone to go home to, it only exacerbated his longing. Someone to go home to. That sounded nice. Absence had definitely made the heart grow fonder. They did rush through the early stages of a typical relationship rather quickly, but it felt so natural sharing his home with her. They fit so well together, both at work and at home.

Rick wondered where their relationship was headed. Things were great for now, but Rick definitely wanted more. He wanted to have a serious relationship with her, one with a tangible future together. He wanted to tell her how he really felt about her-that he loved her, that he's been in love with her for a while and hopefully she felt the same way too. There's no way they could be doing what they've been doing, been so intimate together without her feeling something deeper for him. Maybe she wasn't ready for more just yet, but he was willing to take things slow. But first he had to let her know what his intentions were. Revealing his true feelings for her, baring his heart and soul before her, was unnerving and risky, but it was worth it. She was worth it. So worth it. Rick decided to man up and have an honest talk with her when he got back home.

_Halfway across the world and she still distracts me from my work. Okay, that was enough of a sidetrack. Time to get to work, _Rick thought to himself, shaking his head. He reopened the document and began putting his thoughts into words.

Rick found himself often asking "what would Beckett do?" when writing about Nikki Heat. So often in fact, that he kept mistakenly typing Beckett's name instead of Nikki Heat's into the manuscript. _Gotta focus on the novel, Rick. You're writing about Nikki Heat and Jameson Rook, not you and Beckett. The sooner you finish this novel, the sooner you can go home to her._

Ideas from his real life experience in solving cases with Beckett poured out steadily onto the paper. Soon Rick found himself back in New York City, lost in the world of Nikki Heat, the character he created based on the woman he loved.

_I think that possibly, maybe I've fallen for you  
__Yes there's a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you__  
_

**A/N: Just realized it's been 3 years since I started this story… I'm so sorry it's taken this long to write :(. I'm going to finish it… eventually. (I actually have most of it outlined, writing just takes forever.) I'll try to get as much written this summer as possible (hopefully finish it? Maybe that's just wishful thinking... :P). The next chapter's written already FYI, so that one will be out soon. **


	23. From Where You Are

**Chapter 23**

It was midnight when Rick Castle entered the hotel lobby with a tipsy blonde woman clinging onto his arm. They had just returned from his latest book release and signing party in Paris. He hadn't particularly enjoyed the party, as was the trend of late, so he decided to crash early. The party was still in full swing when they left, but Rick insisted on going back to his room. The pair staggered into the elevator and ascended the luxurious building to his floor.

"Come on," he coaxed as the elevator doors opened. The blonde giggled and followed his lead. He stopped in front of his hotel room door and dug into his pocket to find his wallet.

Keycard in hand, Rick fumbled with it as he tried to unlock his room while simultaneously holding up the woman that was leaning on him for support. Single-handedly, he successfully managed to manipulate the plastic card to the right orientation and into the slot.

"Ugh finally," Rick groaned when the light lit green. He opened the door and helped Gina through the threshold first.

"I can walk by myself." Gina tried to push him away. "I'm not that drunk. Just a little tipsy…" When she started to stumble, Rick caught her before she lost her balance.

"Right…" he said.

Rick decided that having her walk in 5 inch heels while less than sober was a potential hazard to her safety. He really would rather have her uninjured and the hotel furniture all in one piece. Instead of risking disaster, Rick picked Gina up in a swift movement and carried her across the hotel room.

"Always the chivalrous one, aren't you?" Gina muttered. "Like a knight in shining whatever…"

"Just trying to help. I don't want you getting hurt…" Rick replied as he brought her to the bed, setting her down gently.

"Hmm thanks," she mumbled.

Gina sat up and smirked. "This brings back many a memory…" she looked into his eyes. She held his gaze unbroken as she reached out for his tie, loosening the knot at the top. Her hands started slowly unbuttoning Rick's shirt, one by one.

"What are you doing Gina?" Rick asked, confused.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Gina countered in a low, sultry voice. Her eyes fluttered down to his lips as she gradually leaned forward to close the distance between them. When impatience got the better of her, she grabbed his collar and tugged him closer to indulge her undisclosed desire. Gina let her mouth crash onto Rick's, once again tasting those familiar lips pressed against hers. She kissed him hard and passionately, catching him by surprise.

"Mmm…" she moaned. "God, I missed this."

The kiss caught Rick completely off guard. It took him a few seconds to re-orient himself but he quickly pulled away, breaking the kiss. "Gina, stop. You're drunk."

"I know exactly what I'm doing and exactly what I want. And right now what I want is you," she declared pointedly. Gina dug her hands into his hair and leaned in for another kiss, but Rick pushed her away.

"Well this isn't what I want," Rick replied.

"We're in the country of love. No sense in indulging in all this beauty and romance alone," she tempted with a suggestive twinkle in her eye. "This is our last night in Paris. Let's make some unforgettable memories together." Gina let her hands roam his chest and worked open a few more buttons. As her hands wandered even further down, she started undoing his belt buckle.

"I said no," Rick said firmly, standing up.

"Seriously?" Gina asked incredulously. "When have you ever turned me down?"

"I know you're not used to hearing 'no' for an answer, but there's a first time for everything," he replied sarcastically.

"Oh, come on. For old times' sake…" she enticed. "We were great together."

"We had our moments, but that's long over now."

"What's wrong with you?" Gina frowned. "Where's the Richard Castle I fell in love with? The passionate, spontaneous, adventurous lover."

"I'm still him," Rick defended.

Gina scoffed. "He would've said yes to me in a heartbeat."

Rick rolled his eyes and looked away. Gina scrutinized his face carefully, searching for an explanation to his reluctance.

After a momentary pause, realization dawned on her. "I know what this is about…" Gina started. "That detective of yours. I know you've been playing house with her for the past few months. That's why you don't want to hook up with me isn't it?"

"Yes, I am currently seeing her. I'm a lot of things Gina, but a cheater isn't one of them," Rick said with a hint of bitterness in his voice. He could feel the anger rising in his chest when Gina insinuated that his relationship with Kate was just pretend.

"Come on. We both know you're not the domestic type," she taunted.

"Well maybe I have changed."

"Yeah right. You could've had that with me but you didn't want it. We could have been good together."

"Yeah, it was great up until you cheated on me," Rick said scathingly. He instantly regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. Great. That was going to open up some nasty wounds. Things had been going quite smoothly with Gina so far during the trip. They were talking just like they used to and Rick even enjoyed her company at times, over dinner or at the parties. She served well to deter the sycophantic young women that frequented some of his events looking for a glimpse of the high life. Their relationship actually seemed to be well mended since the fallout of their marriage. But his stupid mouth just had to bring up the old scars. He really needed to think before he spoke.

Gina's demeanor changed suddenly at the biting accusation in his words. They were a sobering reminder of the mistakes of her past that had caused them both much heartache. Rick could see a flicker of pain flash across her face, but she quickly masked it with disgust. "Ugh, that again. You always have to drag my name through the mud don't you? We've talked about this. We both agreed that we were at a bad time in our relationship."

"I know," he sighed. It was cheap of him to play that card, but she wasn't taking 'no' for an answer. That was a dirty last resort tactic. "I don't blame you for how our relationship ended," Rick conceded. "It was bound to end one way or another, regardless of your actions. There's a reason why we ended things. Neither of us was happy."

"So what's stopping you now? What's a hookup to you?"

Rick pondered for a moment. "My heart's set somewhere else…" he said quietly.

"With her?"

"Yeah."

"Fine, whatever" Gina remarked curtly.

"Look, I'm sorry for bringing that up. It's water under the bridge. We've been civil with each for the entire trip. I don't want to mess that up now…" Rick tried.

She considered his apology. "I get it. You have a thing with her and you want to honor it. It's the respectable thing to do."

"I know. I'm sorry if I made you think anything otherwise."

"Is it even serious?"

The question gave him pause. He didn't know what Kate's answer to that question would be, but he knew what his was. "Yeah, it is. I love her." That was the first time he'd ever admitted it to someone else. To his second ex-wife, of all people. It felt good saying it out loud. It gave it substance and sincerity.

"Oh…" Gina trailed off. She could see the truthfulness in his eyes. Richard Castle wasn't one to throw around those words lightly. Gina knew that he had changed over the past two years since he has been working with Beckett. Even she could see it in the short time they've been together on the trip. He was less terminal bachelor and more homebody. Kate Beckett had somehow managed to tame the wild stallion. "Hmm… well then. Good for you. I hope it works out with you two."

Rick was taken aback. He couldn't help but be skeptical about her wishes. "Are you just saying that to be polite? You did just try to seduce me five minutes ago…" he questioned.

Gina sighed and looked at him earnestly. "Believe it or not, but I really did care about you once. I do want you to be happy. I can tell that you've changed because of her. She must really be important to you. And if she makes you happy then you should go for it. You deserve it."

The nature of her honesty surprised him. "Thanks, Gina. That's really big of you," Rick replied genuinely.

"I do have a heart you know," she sighed. "I'm sorry about what I said about being all domestic or whatever," Gina apologized softly.

"I'm sorry about bringing up the cheating thing too. I forgave you about it a while ago," Rick said sheepishly.

"Thanks. You really are a great guy, Rick." Gina gave him a small smile. "It's too bad we didn't work out together…" she yawned.

"Yeah…"

"Well I'm going to bed," she stated, kicking off her high heels. When Gina started undressing, Rick looked away.

"Remind me again why we had to share a room again?" he questioned.

"They only had one suite left. And I thought it wouldn't be a problem."

"It's not," Rick replied, heading to the bathroom. "I'm going to wash up and go to bed too. Good night."

"Night."

In the bathroom, Rick sighed at his reflection in the mirror. Things were going to be slightly uneasy between them for the rest of the trip. At least they only had a few more weeks left on the tour. If he could survive the strained situations and seemingly interminable parties, then he'd be home free. Rick turned on the faucet and splashed some water onto his face to keep his mind focused. He had a few drinks at the party, but he was glad that he was sober enough to make good choices. Gina was definitely tempting. She was gorgeous and incredibly alluring. He might have even said yes to her if he weren't currently seeing Kate. There was a reason he'd been married to her once, but that was definitely over now. He didn't have any lingering feelings or regrets towards her. He was with Kate now and he was happy.

After brushing his teeth and changing into pajamas, Rick returned to the adjacent queen beds found Gina fast asleep beneath the plush sheets. Thank god there were two beds in the room. At least he would be spared awkward nights. He would have a hard time explaining that one to Kate…

Rick climbed into his respective bed and settled in under the covers. He let his mind wander back to Kate as he thought about the events that had just transpired. Rick thought about the words he had said.

His heart was definitely set with her. He was in love with her. But did she feel the same way? It bothered him that he didn't know how she felt. Uncertainty gnawed away in the back of Rick's mind. It was strange that they never talked about where they were and where they were headed. He was tired of pretending that what they were doing meant little or nothing to him. He was tired of having to hide how he truly felt about her.

He wanted more. They both deserved more. They might have started things on a "friends with benefits" front, but that was just a façade to test the waters. Now that he'd had a taste, he was addicted. Now he was ready to dive in. He wanted to drown in an ocean of her. Rick considered Kate's lingering reluctance to establish an actual relationship with him. She probably didn't want to define them because she was protecting herself; she was scared to let him in. But it was time they moved forward. It was time they defined what they were.

Rick considered what he would say to her. He didn't want to push her too forcefully. Relationships were a two-person effort and he didn't want to take more than she would give. It would be selfish of him to do so. If he pushed too much, she might pull away. Instead, he should give her honesty, put his heart on the line, and she would choose for herself. He decided he would tell her how he felt about her and what his intentions were. By letting himself show his vulnerable side to her, she would see that he was genuine and serious in seeking a deeper commitment with her.

Scenarios of how the conversation would play out formulated in his mind. He would tell her how much he missed her during his trip. He would tell her that he's been evaluating their relationship and that he wanted more. That they should be a real couple, official and exclusive. And that he loved her. Those three words. I love you. They would change everything, for the better. Then a smile would light up her face and she would kiss him passionately and say "I love you" back. Or she would freak out and be at a loss for words. He amused himself by imagining all the possible ways she would react. But all of them ended in the same way-hot "welcome home" slash "I love you" sex. That was definitely going to happen.

Thinking about her made him yearn for home even more. He missed all the little things about her. The smell of her hair, the way she rested in his arms when they cuddled, even the way she rolled her eyes at him when he did something goofy. That brilliant, contagious smile that could illuminate a whole room. Rick couldn't wait to be back home to see her again. To be with her again. Those were his last thoughts for the night before he drifted off to sleep, dreaming sweet dreams of her.

_Been far away for far too long  
__I keep dreaming you'll be with me_

**A/N: Happy (day after) Independence Day! The 4th of July will be an event later in this fic. Too bad I didn't write it in real time :(. But oh well. **


	24. Moving Out, Moving On

**Chapter 24**

Kate's key fob jingled with one extra key as she unlocked the front door to Castle's loft. Her task of apartment hunting had at last come to an end. After weeks of searching the classified ads and visiting potential apartments, Kate finally found a place that both suited her tastes and needs and was within her budget. Kate had just signed the lease that day and made a security deposit for her new apartment which was located in Midtown Manhattan. It was a 600 square foot, one bedroom, one bath apartment with stainless steel appliances, hardwood flooring, and granite countertops. The apartment was located near the East river and had a great view of the Manhattan skyline. It was a little bit farther to the precinct than from Castle's loft, but the commute was still manageable. All in all, it was quite ideal for her needs.

Kate was relieved to have finally found an apartment to move into. She had definitely overstayed her welcome at Castle's place. Even though Castle always insisted that it wasn't a burden at all, Kate sometimes felt slightly guilty for intruding into his home. However, Kate couldn't deny that she was slightly sad to leave Castle's loft which she had come to call home for the past few months.

She meant to look for an apartment right after her old one was destroyed, but Kate needed time to recuperate after the explosion and adjust to living in Castle's loft. After that, she kept putting off finding a new apartment to move into mostly because she was usually too busy with work to check out apartments in New York City. She would have started looking earlier, but there was never the need to rush. Months passed by quickly without her even realizing it.

In fact, Kate had gotten quite comfortable living with Castle and his family. Perhaps too comfortable. At first she thought it would be really awkward to live with the Castles because she didn't know them too well personally. What with his mother floating in and out according to her whims and his daughter living there, the last thing Castle's loft needed was more estrogen. But they had all been more than accommodating to Kate and had extended her a warm welcome as if she were a part of their family. Even after Alexis found out about her relationship with Rick, she still regarded Kate in the same way. They actually grew closer as Kate got to know Alexis better.

It was quite effortless how Kate fit into their home lives so seamlessly. as Kate let herself become accustomed with the Castles, she found herself feeling like it was home. Kate had quickly developed a daily morning routine with Rick, where she made them a simple breakfast and he brewed his specialty coffee for her. Additionally, carpooling to work together was time and cost efficient for the both of them. The domesticity of Kate and Rick's relationship came naturally because they were always so in sync with each other, both at work and at home. In the few months that Kate was with them, she genuinely felt that she was a part of their home.

This explained the latent reluctance to move out that lingered in the back of Kate's mind. She would miss the mornings with Rick, their afternoon drives home from the precinct, and dinners at night where they would relay the exciting events of the day to the rest of his family. Gone would be the nights when they stayed up talking about cases or arguing about his ridiculous theories, along with the Saturday mornings when they slept in, cuddled in his bed whilst having pillow talks. It was great while it lasted, but she had to move into her own apartment. Kate needed a place of her own to call home. It was better for the both of them, she told herself. They couldn't keep living together in his loft. They didn't belong together.

A groan escaped Kate's lips as she thought about her next labor—packing. Kate brought a few empty boxes into their—Rick's—room to start collecting her belongings. As she rummaged through the shelves and drawers, Kate couldn't help but recall the sentimental memories attached to each item, most of which reminded her of Rick. She carefully placed the stack of Castle's entire works, each novel personally autographed to her, into her box. Kate had spent many hours in his luxurious tub re-reading her favorite books of his. She picked up a baseball autographed by one of her favorite players, Joe Torre, which Castle had procured for her when he learned that she was a big fan. Rick knew Kate wasn't fond of expensive presents, so instead he always found something more thoughtful and meaningful to give her on those occasions.

Kate moved onto the large walk-in closet where upon first moving in, she had not-so-subtly commandeered the majority of the space with her extensive coat and jacket collection. It took Kate some time to gather all her clothes and pack them neatly into her boxes. By the time she was finished, half the closet was devoid of her clothes that had previously resided there. The non-uniform density of the closet irritated her, so being the OCD kind of person she was, Kate started rearranging Rick's clothes to take up the rest of the space. Kate always teased Castle about his metrosexuality, which was clearly evidenced by his immaculately organized wardrobe of jackets, pants, ties, shoes, and the like in the closet. As she moved around his t-shirts, Kate couldn't help but bring one up to her nose to smell, his scent still rich in the soft cotton. She decided to take one of his t-shirts, the green lantern one, as a souvenir to keep for herself. Kate knew that it was one of Castle's favorites but it reminded her of his dorkiness, which never failed to bring a smile to her face. And he was always joking that his clothes looked better on her anyways.

The numerous boxes of her belongings were beginning to take up a lot of space in Castle's bedroom, so Kate decided to start moving them down to the living room. When Kate trotted downstairs with two large boxes in hand that blocked her vision, she heard Alexis' voice inquiring her of her undertaking.

"Kate?"

Kate set down the boxes on the floor and turned to greet Castle's daughter who was sitting at the kitchen island.

"Oh, hey Lex. How was school?"

"It was busy. What are you doing?" Alexis nodded to the boxes.

"Just packing my things," Kate replied.

"What for?"

Kate hesitated. She hadn't even told Alexis that she'd been looking for apartments for the past few weeks, much less that she was planning on moving out. Now was the time to break the news. "Uh… I'm moving out," she said sheepishly.

"You are?" Alexis asked, surprised.

"Yeah, I found an apartment in midtown and I just signed the lease today. So I'm packing my stuff now, hence the boxes…" Kate motioned to the load she had been carrying.

"Wait… why?" Alexis was still stunned at Kate's sudden announcement.

"Well…" Kate started. "This was always supposed to be a temporary thing. I think I've definitely overstayed my welcome."

"No you haven't," Alexis reassured her. "We love having you here."

"Staying here has been great. I love your family, but I do need a place of my own," Kate reasoned. "I can't live here… forever."

Alexis pondered for a moment, trying to understand the real reason Kate was moving out so abruptly. She could only come up with one reason to explain Kate's hasty actions. "Does this have something to do with my dad? Did you guys get into a fight or something?" Alexis asked, concerned.

"No, we didn't get into a fight. Actually, I haven't spoken to him since he left for his book tour…" Kate trailed off. "Has he called you?"

"Uh, yeah he called once to check on me, but it was a really short conversation. He seemed like he was in a hurry or something. He also sent me an SOS text saying that Gina was holding him hostage… whatever that means. Wait, he hasn't called you at all?" she asked, confused.

"Nope," Kate replied.

"What about text? Or email?"

"Not a peep," Kate sighed. "But if he called you, then I'm sure he's fine. I checked his Twitter and Facebook and he posts stuff all the time. Seems like he's having a great time."

"Yeah, he's big on social media now of days. Says it's the new medium to be in. But it's really weird that he hasn't tried to contact you… Maybe Gina isn't letting him?" Alexis tried.

"If he really wanted to, he would have. But it's fine…"

"Is that why you're moving?" Alexis inquired.

"No, I was always planning on moving out. It just took me longer than I had expected to get on my feet and find a place."

Alexis hesitated before asking her next question. "So what's going to happen between you and my dad then?"

"Umm… I'm not sure. It's complicated," Kate said, tactfully avoiding giving a direct answer.

"You said that when you first got together," Alexis pointed out, skeptical.

"It's always been complicated and has just been getting more complicated," Kate sighed. "I don't really know where we are right now. But that's not the reason why I'm moving. I really do think it's better if I have my own apartment."

Alexis frowned. It seemed that Kate's mind was set and that it wasn't going to change. Kate Beckett was a stubborn one. "When are you moving out?"

"Whenever I get done packing and moving my stuff I guess. But that might take a while. And don't worry, I'll be checking in on you every day. I'll probably even be back every night to cook dinner seeing as I don't have any kitchenware yet… It's still my responsibility to look after you. You're not getting rid of me that easily," Kate joked lightheartedly.

"Alright." Alexis grinned. "You know, I actually kind of liked having you around Kate," she admitted. "I'm going to miss you when you go. It was nice having someone else to talk to sometimes. As much as I love my dad, I can't confide in him about everything. He doesn't get the girl stuff and whatnot."

The words touched Kate's heart. "I'm glad I can be there for you," she smiled. "You're welcome to stop by my apartment any time you want. To talk, rant, or just chill."

"Okay. That sounds good. Do you need any help packing or moving?"

"No, it's okay. I know you have AP exams to study for," Kate motioned to the stack of AP review books on the counter. "I can handle it by myself."

"Mkay. But give dad a chance to explain himself when he gets back, okay? He isn't usually this… inconsiderate. I'm sure when he returns things will be okay."

"We'll… talk." Kate didn't want to lie to Alexis. She didn't want to tell her that she had already made up her mind. "Well, I'll let you get back to studying. Good luck on those exams."

"Thanks, Kate."

Kate flashed her a reassuring smile then turned around and headed back upstairs to continue packing and thinking about her state of affairs with Castle.

Moving out would mean the end of their relationship, but exactly how things would change Kate was uncertain of. She wasn't even clear on where their relationship was at the moment. She definitely wasn't his girlfriend—Kate made certain that they didn't put that label on their relationship in the beginning because she wasn't sure whether they would work out. As time passed however, Kate grew warmer to the idea of calling whatever they had a relationship. As Kate opened herself more to Rick, she always found a willing ear to listen and a shoulder to rest on when the weight of the world got too heavy for her to carry by herself. He made her see that needing someone wasn't weakness. There was strength in their partnership; he made it easier by letting her know she didn't have to fight all of her battles alone.

Kate found herself caring about Rick just the same. She knew he had ghosts of girlfriends past that had broken his heart before, along with the emotional uncertainty of never knowing his dad. Kate wanted to be there to help him grow and heal, just as he always was there for her. Kate thought she might be able trust him with her heart eventually and have him reciprocate the affection. But they still never talked about where they were and were they were going. Maybe that was his way of indicating that he didn't want a future with her. Never did and never would. And now where were they? Out of sight, out of mind.

Her heart sunk when she remembered those pictures of Rick on his publicity tour in Europe, partying it up at decadent events with beautiful young women. Having the time of his life. Who was she to keep him from that? It wasn't her place to tell him how to live his life. If he wanted to have that lifestyle, that was his choice. He obviously didn't want a settled down life with her. Rick didn't care about how it would make her feel if he went out partying every night on his Europe trip, not bothering to call her even once. He was an immature, carefree playboy and always would be. As much as she wanted him to be someone she could have a future with, that wasn't who he was and she couldn't change him. Kate had no place in that world with him and he didn't have a place in hers. She had to move on.

Kate found herself wondering if he ever really cared about her. How could he be so insensitive as to leave for the other side of the world on such short notice and not call home for two months? This wasn't the Richard Castle she had gotten to know over the past two years of working with him day in and day out. Uncertainty crept into her mind insidiously, planting seeds of doubt. Did she ever even really know him?

She was stupid to have ever considered loving him. She didn't love him, but there would always be a spot in her heart for him. A small part of her always would wonder how good it could have been if they had worked out. At least it was better than wondering _what if_. They gave it a shot, but it didn't work out. She didn't have any regrets about their "relationship"—'tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. It was just not meant to be. They were too different fundamentally. Maybe that's what drew them to each other in the beginning, the way opposites attract. It frustrated her that they didn't work out because they weren't compatible; it was because they didn't want the same thing. Although knowing that they tried satiated her curiosity, it didn't make it any less painful to lose someone she cared about so much. It was so incredibly easy and equally as painful to fall for someone who was wrong for her. But that chapter of their relationship was over. They had started out so hopeful, so desperate to be close to each other, but now they had become so far apart. Now she had to let him go and move on like a mature adult.

She never meant for them to end up this way. It was inevitable from the start, but she had chosen to ignore the consequences of their actions. Surely their ignorance couldn't last forever. Kate contemplated whether they could ever go back to the way they were before. She wouldn't be able to stand working so close to him every day, knowing that they had once been in the most intimate throes of passion together. Everything in this apartment was a poignant reminder of a love lost, a blissful yet sad remembrance of the time they spent together. Perhaps it would get better in time… the heartache would soothe eventually. Every kiss, every gentle whisper would one day just be a faded memory. She wondered how they had once been so close, yet now were worlds apart.

Kate sighed heavily. She didn't know what anything meant anymore. The only thing that she knew was that she had to get away from this loft, away from the bittersweet memories engraved on every inch of his apartment where they had spent so many hours together as pretend lovers.

_I never meant to get us in this deep  
__I never meant for this to mean a thing_

**A/N: Written in record time! Even though I kind of hate this chapter… didn't flow as nicely as I'd hoped. Sorry if some sentences were choppy. Also, broke the 50k word mark! Booya! And don't worry, Castle will be back very soon… ;) **


	25. Long Gone and Moved On

**Chapter 25**

After Kate taped up the latest cardboard box containing her belongings, she sat down and sighed. Moving was such a troublesome ordeal and only a third of the battle was over. She still needed to physically move all her things to the new apartment then unpack everything and get situated into the new place. It was her own personal Herculean labor.

Each box contained a portion of her things, either from her previous apartment or things that she had bought after the explosion. Kate hoped that by moving all her belongings to her new apartment she would be reminded of Rick less. A new setting, a new place to call home, would be the perfect atmosphere for a fresh start. It was just what she needed to get away from the complicated mess that was her "relationship" with Richard Castle, the playboy extraordinaire. The immature, annoying man child who drove her crazy on a daily basis, yet somehow made her crazy about him. The one who had forgotten about her at home while he was away gallivanting in Europe.

She felt a familiar twinge in her chest when she thought about him. The sound of her cellphone's ringtone chirping pulled Kate out from her thoughts.

Kate picked up automatically, without checking the number first. "Beckett," she answered curtly, on instinct.

"Hey Kate," the voice on the other line started. "It's Tom."

"Oh hey," she greeted with a warmer tone. They had a nice dinner together after their friendly little sparring match, but Kate hadn't been in contact with him since.

"How have you been?"

"Good, you?" Kate answered.

"Great. You know, I had a good time with you on our dinner date…" Demming started.

"Oh I did too," Kate smiled.

"Hmm…" he pondered. "So why haven't you called me since then?" Tom inquired.

_Crap_, she thought. Kate had totally forgotten about that. Well not completely forgotten per se, but she had put it in the back of her mind. Kate had been primarily preoccupied with work and moving as of late and hadn't gotten a chance to call Demming back. She also didn't know where things were going with him. He seemed like a great guy, but she wasn't exactly ready for a relationship right now. "Oh, I'm really sorry I haven't gotten a chance to call you back. I've, uh, been really busy lately…" Kate trailed off.

"Hmm, that seems to be a common answer with you," Tom noted. "If you don't want to see me again, you can just say so. No hard feelings."

"No, no it's not that," Kate insisted. "I have been busy with apartment hunting and now packing."

"Oh, you're looking for a new apartment? Are you moving?"

"Yeah, I just found a place in Midtown. I signed the lease a few days ago. Now I'm currently packing up my stuff to make the move out there."

"So I take it you aren't free for dinner tonight?" Demming asked, slightly disappointed.

"No, sorry. I've still got a few boxes to pack then I'm going to move them all to my new place," Kate explained.

"Well how about a helping hand then?" Demming offered. "Not that you aren't capable of moving your stuff on your own. But it's quite the endeavor and I'm sure you wouldn't mind some extra muscle," Tom grinned.

Kate couldn't help but smile at his persistence. He was such a chivalrous guy. And that pearly white smile… Kate definitely could use an extra pair of hands to move her belongings and she wouldn't mind the company. In fact, Kate welcomed it. She needed a distraction from all the thoughts of missing a certain mystery novelist. A tall, dark, and handsome distraction too. She definitely didn't mind at all.

"Actually, that would be great" Kate accepted. "Are you sure you have nothing better to do on a Friday night?"

"Nope, my schedule's all free. You've got yourself a strongman to do all your heavy lifting."

"All right iron man," she teased. "I'm at 425 Broome St right now. After we load up all my stuff, we can drive over to my new apartment together."

"Okay," Demming confirmed, scribbling down the address. "See you in a bit."

"Mkay. See you."

Twenty minutes later, Demming arrived at the loft with a pickup truck he had borrowed from a friend. It wasn't ideal, but it was the best he could do on such short notice. It wouldn't be a problem if they had to make a few trips back and forth.

He was greeted at the door by a casually dressed Beckett, who was grateful to see him.

"Hey," Kate grinned.

"Hey back at you," he smiled at her, entering the apartment. "This is for you," he said as he handed Kate a bottle of red wine. "A little housewarming gift."

"Thank you," she accepted graciously. "And thanks again for doing this."

"My pleasure. This is a nice place," Tom remarked, surveying the tastefully decorated apartment. "Why are you moving out of here?" he asked.

"Oh, this isn't my apartment. It's uh… a friend's place," Kate explained. "I've been staying here on the interim, after the explosion."

"Explosion?" Demming asked, taken aback.

"Yeah, it's kind of a long story," Kate trailed off.

"That sounds like an interesting story. I've got time to listen."

Kate considered the proposition. She could tell him about the case and the explosion, but should probably leave out the details where she moved in with Castle and started a friends with benefits relationship with him. "Hmm… maybe after we move all my stuff."

"Okay," Demming said, satisfied. "So what do you need moving? I'm at your service."

She motioned to the stack of boxes in the living room. "Those… and the rest of the stuff is upstairs."

"Any furniture?" he inquired.

"The apartment comes with some basic furnishings, so I don't have any big items to move right now. Besides, none of the furniture here is mine."

"Got it," Demming affirmed, picking up two boxes with a firm grip.

"Well let's get to it."

Two hours and several trips back and forth between apartments later, Demming plunked down the last box into the living room of Kate's new apartment with a grunt. Kate's apartment had warmly polished wood floors and a decent set of furniture to match. The place was pristine and quite empty, save for the boxes of her stuff that they had lugged into the living room. It felt a bit foreign to her now but with a little TLC and personalized decorations, it would feel like home in no time.

"I think that's the last one," Demming let out a breath of air.

Kate set down a box, equally as exhausted. "Yeah, that looks like everything."

"I am so thankful we have the modern convenience of elevators... But your apartment does have quite a nice view," Demming remarked, surveying the view. The living room had wide windows that spanned the width of the room, affording a panoramic view overlooking the Manhattan skyline. From that vantage point, they could see the bright lights of the city that never slept and the endless bustle of people living fast paced lives.

"Mhm, that's one of the things I like best about the place." New York City was and always would be home to her.

Demming's stomach grumbled. "Mmm… I'm starving. Want to order some takeout?" he suggested.

"Sure."

"What do you feel like having? Chinese food?"

"That's my favorite," Kate grinned.

"I know a great place that delivers. I'll order in for us." Demming stepped aside for a minute and placed a quick dinner order for the two of them.

He ended the call on his phone as he returned to the living room where Kate was. "It'll be about 30 minutes. Want me to help you unpack while we wait for food?"

"You've already been such a big help by moving the boxes and driving me back and forth between apartments," Kate started. "Are you sure you don't mind unpacking too?"

"Of course not. As long as I get to spend time with you," Demming grinned widely.

Kate felt a smile tugging at the corner of her lips at his comment. Demming was such a genuine guy. He knew all the right things to say and do to make someone feel special.

"Hmm, alright. We can start with these boxes." She plopped down in front of an assortment of boxes and expertly cut one open with a box cutter. They spent half an hour chatting about work while they unpacked her things. Demming helped Kate unpack her kitchen necessities and electronics, placing them accordingly. They were just about to put up some of her decorations when the food came. Demming went downstairs to get the food and pay the delivery guy.

"Hey let's take a break," Demming enticed, carrying the takeout over into the kitchen.

"Alright," Kate agreed. She trekked into the sparsely furnished kitchen to join him for dinner. "Hong's?" she inquired, eyeing the takeout bag. "They don't deliver."

Demming grinned. "He does for me."

"No way, what's the story behind that?"

"A few years back, his store got robbed. They took some cash, kitchen appliances, and whatnot but the thing that mattered most to Mr. Hong was this 15th century Ming dynasty medal that was passed down between generations in his family. I eventually found the perps and recovered his family's heirloom. And now since I delivered, so does he." Demming opened up the takeout containers and they helped themselves to delicious food.

"Wow," Beckett admired. "Why'd you get into robbery anyways? With your keen skills you'd make a great homicide detective."

"Hmmm…" Demming pondered. "Let's just say that I have a knack for finding things that are lost. I know how to make connections and which buttons to push. I've built up a large pool of favors to cash in too when the time is necessary. I guess I'm just better at finding lost things rather than lost people. What about you?" Demming inquired. "Why homicide? That seems like quite a dark path to travel down."

Beckett went quite for a moment. She thought about her answer to that question. The real answer was because of her mother's unsolved murder, which is what constantly drove her to put all her effort into finding closure for the families of the victims. But she didn't want to share about her mother with him. She wasn't ready for him to know yet. "It is a really heavy responsibility a lot of the time. But when justice is brought to the victim's families, when I bring them closure, it's worth it. Everyone deserves that. Each person has a story to be told and it's up to me to discover that story and let them be heard when they can't speak for themselves."

Demming detected a hint of strain in her voice but didn't question it. It was understandably a stressful job. She invested so much in each case, which is what made her such a good detective but also drained her emotionally with every case. "Well from what I've seen, you're one of the best detectives in the department," he complimented her, trying to lighten to the mood. "We need more detectives like you. Ones who care more about the people than clearance rates."

"I do my best," she said humbly.

They finished up the rest of the Chinese food and cleaned up the kitchen table together.

"Back to unpacking?" Demming asked.

"I think I'm done for tonight. I've gotten most of the basic stuff out. The rest can wait until later."

"How about we open that bottle of wine then?" Demming suggested instead.

"Sounds great. Can you get two glasses while I find a bottle opener?" Kate instructed.

"Sure thing."

A few minutes later they were cozied up on the couch in the living room, relaxing in the dim glow from the kitchen light. They sipped lazily at their wine glasses, enjoying each other's company.

"So I'm still waiting to hear that bomb story…" Demming prompted. He was quite curious about what happened to her old apartment.

"Ah yes," Kate remembered. "Well it all started with a victim we found at Grand Central Station…" She relayed the thrilling story, even borrowing some of Castle's phrases or extravagant descriptions time to time from when he told the story to Alexis over breakfast. Kate made an effort to only hit the high points, detailing their reluctant alliance with the FBI, the explosion, and the culmination of the case which involved Agent Shaw's kidnapping, so as to not dominate the conversation. She also deliberately left out the details of her post-explosion home situation.

"So that's how my apartment got blown up…" she said as she finished the story.

"Wow. That's the craziest case I've ever heard of," Demming replied astonished. "Talk about job hazards…"

"Yeah, that one hit a little too close to home. Literally," she sighed.

"I'm really glad that you're okay," Demming said genuinely. "Here's to living to fight another day," he raised his glass in a salute.

Kate mirrored his actions and downed the last aliquot of her wine.

Demming glanced his watch casually and noticed that they'd been talking for nearly two hours. "Oh wow, it's really late."

"Sorry the story ran long," Kate apologized.

"Don't be. It was really interesting. I'd love to hear about your other thrilling cases sometime."

"Hmm, yeah maybe some other time" Kate mused.

Demming got up to grab his keys and moved towards the front door as Kate followed suit.

"Thank you again for all your help."

"Of course. Feel free to call if you need anything else moved. Or if you need another sparring partner," Demming offered, grinning.

"I might just take you up on that," Kate smiled back at him.

"Don't forget to call next time…"

"I won't," Kate chuckled.

She looked up into his sparkling blue eyes as he held her gaze intently. He leaned in slowly and cupped her cheek, tilting her chin up to let her lips meet his. Her eyes fluttered close as their lips met. He kissed her gently, enjoying the feeling of her soft lips against his. It was as sweet as a first kiss could be. When they parted slightly, Demming paused tentatively, unsure if he should kiss her again. Kate pulled away in response and blushed.

He tried searching her eyes for a response, but to no avail as she was averting her eyes from his. When Demming saw how Kate was avoiding his eyes, he started to doubt his actions. "Was that the wrong move?" Demming inquired.

"No, no" she replied.

"Then…?" he sighed. "I really like you Kate, and I thought things were going well," Demming posed, utterly confused.

"They are. I mean, I like you too Tom. It's just…" Kate sighed heavily, trying to come up with a proper explanation for her reaction. "I just had a messy relationship with someone that didn't end up so well… I don't think I'm ready for anything serious or exclusive right now."

"So what exactly are you saying?"

Kate thought for a moment. "I'm not saying no… but I'm not saying yes either. I just need some time to figure things out by myself first."

"Okay, fair enough. Do you still want to spend some time together or should I give you some space?"

"Umm… I think I need a little time to myself right now. But I'll give you a call sometime."

"Alright."

"Drive safely, okay?" she said softly.

""Will do. Good night Kate."

"Good night."

Kate closed the door and went to the living room to retrieve the wine glasses. After she brought them to the sink and cleaned them, she returned to the living room to arrange some stuff and clear up the clutter. Kate was absentmindedly stacking up some books into a neat pile when she caught a glimpse of the novel she was holding. Heat Wave. She flipped to the back panel to look at the author bio and the accompanying picture. Kate bit her lip as she gazed upon the handsome picture of Richard Castle. She knew exactly what, or rather who, was keeping her from pursuing things with Demming, and she was looking right at him. Kate couldn't ease the qualms lingering in the back of her mind whenever she was with Demming. She knew that it was because she hadn't ended it with Castle officially or in so many words, which wasn't fair to either Castle or Demming. Kate made up her mind once and for all. She would end things with Castle whenever he got back so that she could give Demming a chance. With her decision made, Kate set the novel on the pile, turned off the lights, and went to her new room to sleep.

**A/N: Don't even know why I'm still writing this story. It's been so long . Happy new year~**

_He might just make me smile  
__But the whole time I'm wishing he were you instead_


	26. Breakeven

**Chapter 26**

**A/N: For those who don't like how the story's going or how Beckett is acting, then don't read if you don't want to. However, bear in mind that I know exactly what I intend to do with the story and characters. There needs to be some drama/angst to keep the things interesting (warning: lots of angst in the upcoming chapters). There's plenty of other stories with mindless fluff/smut for your entertainment. But for those willing to stick with this story, your questions/grievances will be addressed eventually and it will all be worth it in the end. ;)**

Richard Castle was excited. He couldn't remember the last time he was this excited about something. Sure, he often got giddy about new gadgets and toys, but this was something completely different. This wasn't the latest gaming console or even a new Joss Whedon film. This was so much better than that. He was finally going home to see his family with whom he barely had any contact for the past few months due to his promotional book tour in Europe. He was also going home to see a certain detective, whom he had missed immensely during the whole trip. He was going home to finally tell her he loved her. A warm, nervous excitement bubbled in his stomach as he dreamed about being with her again. Rick couldn't wait to have her in his arms again and to exchange I love you's with her. To finally have her as his own.

He would have to do some making up to her for not staying in contact during his trip. With his jam-packed schedule and practically being held hostage by Gina without the luxury of technology to distract him, Castle hadn't been able to call and check up on Kate to see how she was doing. He definitely owed her a few months' worth of romantic dinners, sensual massages, and movie picking rights. Probably a lot more than that actually. He would make it up to her eventually. Rick hoped that she wouldn't be too mad at him for being caught up in his writer's duties. He hoped that by being away for so long it would only make the heart fonder. It definitely did for him.

Rick decided to channel his energetic imagination into his writing. He had 8 hours on the flight from London to New York to kill anyways. When the plane reached a comfortable cruise, the seatbelt lights turned off and Rick unbuckled his to settle more comfortably into his business class seat. He pulled out his laptop to continue writing the next chapter of the second installment of his Nikki Heat series, Naked Heat. He was about halfway through the novel and the storyline had been progressing rather effortlessly. The chapters of the rough draft were connected albeit somewhat disjointed because he hadn't had a lot of time at once to write since he had been city hopping quite frequently for the past few months. There were still a lot of details he needed to refine but he had the main plot was well planned out. Rick usually liked writing in big chunks of time rather than bit by bit, while the ideas were freshest in his mind and the story just flowed out of his thoughts. This was the perfect time to get some work done, since Gina had already dozed off in the seat next to him.

He couldn't help the smile forming across his face when his laptop background loaded—the pic-stitched image of him and Kate being, well them, together. Kate never ceased to bring a smile to his face. Even on terrible days when everything seemed to go wrong, all he had to do was think about her, how they met, and how far they've come since then to lift his spirits. Remembering how annoyed she was by him initially and how fun it was to work with her, even if it meant driving her crazy sometimes made him smile, without fail. It always made him happy to think about how she couldn't stand him when they first met but now he couldn't even imagine his life without her.

It was so rare to meet someone with whom he connected on so many levels. Kate was beyond just smart, sexy, and sophisticated. She was driven, complicated, and strong. She was extraordinary. He knew that right when they met, he had to know her more. She was a mystery that he would never fully solve, but he was more than willing to spend his days discovering more of the beautiful, complex woman that was Katherine Beckett. This was never a just sex relationship between friends to him. Kate always had a special place in his heart even before they began their friends with benefits relationship together, whether she knew it or not. Being intimate with her only made him fall in love with her even more. He had fallen for her quickly, but it felt right being with her. Kate felt like home to him. Rick was sure that Kate had feelings for him too and would be willing to take a step forward in their relationship, however small or big that step might be. He was so excited to see what the future had in store for them.

Rick pulled himself out of his daydream and turned his attention back to his work. He opened up the document with the chapter he had been working on and picked up right where he last left off. Rick made good use of the next few hours on the plane writing about his and Kate's literary alter egos. The time passed quickly and before he knew it, Rick was back in New York and his plane was ready to land. 

* * *

It was 8:00 pm back in New York when Rick arrived at his loft. The airport checkout and baggage claim along with rush hour traffic had taken some time to wade through, but Rick was grateful to have made it home safely. Rick was more than glad to be back in his own apartment. A medley of sights and smells bombarded his senses and a feeling of familiarity came over him as he entered his home for the first time in months. Rick took in the warm ambiance of his loft, relishing the comfort and serenity it afforded—something that he often took for granted. He went to the kitchen and checked his landline for messages and mail for any important documents. Everything seemed to be in order, thanks to Kate's diligent care.

"Lex? Kate?" Rick called out. No response. The apartment was oddly quiet. Rick sent out a quick text to both Kate and Alexis to let them know he was back and asking where they were. A few minutes later Rick got a reply from Alexis informing him that she was out to dinner with some friends and would be back later that night. He told her not to stay out too late as a fatherly reminder. With his worries subdued, Rick trudged back to the living room to handle his luggage.

Rick lugged his suitcases up the stairs into his bedroom and flipped on the lights, only to find his bed empty and neatly made. Rick frowned. He figured Kate was working late at the precinct and would be coming home late too. He let out a sigh. Their passionate reuniting would have to wait for tomorrow. Rick felt the exhaustion weighing him down as he haphazardly rummaged through his suitcase for pajamas. He had spent the time during his flight productively, but it had left him quite drained of energy. Rick wanted to wait up for Kate to come home, but he was starting to feel the effects of jet lag and time zone change hit hard. After swiftly changing and washing up, Rick collapsed on his plush bed, fast asleep. 

* * *

When Rick woke up from his deep sleep, he was groggy and confused. He looked at the time. 10:00 am. _Wow, I must've been out for more than half a day…_ Rick thought to himself. He didn't even hear or feel Kate come in at night. Must've slept through all that. Rubbing his tired eyes and stretching his sore limbs, he proceeded through the motions of his morning routine lazily. After a quick cup of coffee, Rick was ready to get reacclimated to home life in New York City. He spent the morning checking online to make sure his bills were paid on time by all the proper automatic bill payment serves. Those made his life so much easier. He made business calls to Black Pawn to assuring them that his next book was coming along in a timely manner and to schedule future meetings and transcript reviews with his superiors. Rick also spent hours replying to the dozens of emails that had piled up in his account over the past few months.

After he had taken care of all these chores, it was already mid-afternoon. Rick didn't feel like going into the precinct today because he wanted to give his mind a rest from all the complexities of a new case. He still had a few hours before Kate was due to come home, so Rick decided to go grocery shopping and make dinner for the two of them. A romantic dinner for two was long overdue them. It would be both a thoughtful gesture and an apology for staying out of touch with Kate.

One hour and one trip to the grocery store later, Rick's fridge was appropriately stocked with all the basics and some of their favorite foods. He also procured the necessary ingredients to make a French onion soup and beef bourguignon for dinner along with raspberry and nutella crepes for dessert. With the aid of online recipes, Rick prepared a sumptuous meal for Kate and himself in just under three hours. Tasting the soup and stew, Rick's palate was rewarded to flavors rich with herb and wine overtones. Amazing what one can learn from the internet. Maybe this would entice Kate to agree to a trip to France with him in the future, he mused thoughtfully.

Rick moved to set the table with fine dinnerware, utensils, and glasses for red wine. He then trotted to a closet to find one last thing for the table. What romantic dinner would be complete without candles? After placing the final touches on the table, Rick surveyed his work and was quite pleased with the result. The soft classical music in the background paired with the gentle glow of the candles and rich aromas of French food in the air created the perfect ambiance for a romantic night for two. Was he the best boyfriend ever or what? There was no way Kate would be able to say no to him.

Checking his watch, Rick saw that it was almost the end of Kate's workday and that she should be wrapping things up and coming home soon. Getting impatient, Rick figured he would swing by the precinct to say hi to Ryan and Esposito and to pick Kate up personally. A quick cab ride brought him right to the precinct and he strolled eagerly into the familiar bull pen in search of a particular detective. He spotted her beautiful brunette locks at her desk where she was busy reading a file. He stopped to just admire her for a moment. Seeing her so engaged in her own work reminded Castle of how driven and amazing Beckett was. He was lucky to be the partner to the most incredible detective in New York City.

Castle casually made his way through the maze of desks towards her. Sneaking up behind a cop was not a good idea—a lesson Castle had learned first-hand—so he approached her desk from the front. Beckett was so engrossed in her work that she didn't notice him coming towards her.

Castle leaned in and whispered, "Hey Kate. Miss me?" He sat down in his chair and grinned widely. Seeing her brought a genuine smile to his face and a warmth to his heart. He was finally back where he belonged.

The voice startled Beckett out of her task. She turned to investigate the disturbance and was greeted with a familiar face. "Oh, Castle. You're back." Beckett eyed him up and down rather blankly. Seeing him stroll back into the precinct like the past few months hadn't happened made her kind of irritated. How could he act like nothing was wrong? He literally did not call home for two months and still had the audacity to waltz back into her life acting like nothing had changed.

"Yeah, I got in late last night. I texted you," Castle reminded her.

"Oh right, I did get that text. I just thought you weren't going to be coming to the precinct today because of jetlag and whatnot."

"I was really tired from the flight. I actually spent most of the time on the plane writing. After I got home, I kind of passed out on my bed for the entire night. But it definitely feels good to be home."

"Well… I'm glad you're back safely. I was starting to get worried because you didn't call, but Alexis kept me updated during your trip."

"Ugh, about that. I should probably explain that to you. Are you almost done with work?" he inquired.

Beckett sighed. She really didn't want to do this here in the precinct of all places, but they really had to have the talk. There was no other place they would be meeting up anyways. "Yeah, I'm almost done. There's something I need to talk to you about too…" she said quietly.

Beckett finished examining the file and reorganized her desk neatly. It was Friday afternoon and the precinct population was steadily dwindling down as quitting hour approached, but there were still officers and detectives milling about attending to their own business. She didn't want to have their talk out in the open where other people could eavesdrop on their personal conversation or hear them fight.

"Let's go somewhere more… private," Beckett suggested. Castle consented willingly, his mind occupied with what he would say to her. He didn't want to drop those three words yet. Not at the precinct. It would have to wait until they got home, after their perfect romantic dinner.

They headed to the break room which was empty, thankfully. Castle opened the door for Beckett graciously, entering the room after her. As the door shut he strode eagerly to her, cupping her cheek for a kiss.

"I missed you," he breathed.

Beckett flinched at his words and pulled away abruptly, breaking physical contact. The sudden withdrawal surprised Castle and he frowned, unhappy to be denied a kiss from her.

Realization clicked in his head. "Right. Rules. We're at the precinct."

Beckett didn't respond affirmatively.

Beckett started after a slight pause between them. "So why didn't you call or anything during your entire trip? I was concerned something had happened to you…"

Castle groaned. How could he explain this and not sound like a total idiot? He probably could have snuck in a few calls here and there, but Gina kept him occupied most of the time and he didn't want to get on bad terms with her by not following the rules, however unfair they were. "I was being held hostage by Gina… she wouldn't let me use my phone or the internet so that meant I couldn't call you," Castle explained. "But I promise I'll make it up to you," he assured her.

Beckett sighed, not knowing how to make it through this conversation. "How was the tour?" she asked.

"Super busy. We went to a different city every few days which was really great but I didn't have a lot of time to myself. Any spare time I had left over, Gina made me work on my novel. Between book signings by day and parties by night, I barely got any time to sight see and visit the local attractions," Castle pouted. "But the cities were beautiful and the food was amazing. The parties were pretty great too. Overall, I had an amazing time in Europe," Castle gushed enthusiastically.

"Hmm… fun," Beckett replied with a lackluster tone. "You and Gina looked pretty cozy in those pictures…" she replied sarcastically.

"What pictures?" Castle questioned, genuinely confused.

"The ones all over your Facebook and Twitter feed?" Beckett answered, thoroughly annoyed. How could he not know what he was posting on his own social media accounts?

"Oh that. I think Gina posted those during the trip while she had my phone. That's just to keep up my image, you know. Literary rockstar and whatnot."

"Hmm, yeah I'm sure that's it." Beckett rolled her eyes.

"But…" Castle inched closer to her. "I really missed being at home." He reached out to take her in his arms.

Again, Beckett pulled away from his embrace and folded her arms automatically, almost defensively.

Castle frowned. He took a moment to observe her demeanor and tried to comprehend it. Beckett was being unusually cold to him and it wasn't just because of the "no PDA at the precinct" rule. Maybe she was more than a little upset about him being away and out of contact for so long. Or maybe she was just in a bad mood today. He was puzzled by her behavior but didn't want to question it so as to not further provoke her.

"Speaking of home, I noticed a lot of your stuff is gone," Castle tried to change the subject. He had observed that there was a gratuitous amount of space in his closet and drawers while he was unpacking and putting away his clothes and he was curious as to why.

"Yeah… I moved it," she explained.

"To where?"

"My new apartment."

"Oh." He paused. Castle wasn't expecting that. It would explain why he didn't hear her come home last night and why all her stuff was missing. "You moved out?"

"Yeah. Our arrangement was always supposed to be a temporary thing…" Beckett trailed off, avoiding his eyes.

Castle was trying to take in the news and make sense of it. Beckett was only supposed to stay there for a short time while she was looking for a new apartment, but they had been happily living together for the past few months, or so he thought. Although he wasn't pleased with it, Castle could see why she wanted a place of her own. Living together was a major commitment, one she definitely wasn't ready for.

"Well then… what does that mean for us?" he asked slowly. He felt a of sense dread building up in the pit of his stomach as he asked the innocuous question and awaited her response. This was not going how he planned at all. This was not the ecstatic "welcome home" he was expecting from her. It was far from what he dreamed about when coming home.

Beckett winced at his question. She struggled to come up with what to say. After a long disconcerting pause, she finally brought her gaze to meet his and sighed. "Look Castle, I don't think there should be an 'us' anymore."

Her words hit him like a wrecking ball. "What do you mean?" Castle asked with a hint of desperation in his voice. He was too stunned to even fully grasp the implication of her statement.

Beckett let out a heavy sigh. Memories of many a lonely night spent in his bed came to her as she recalled how hurt she felt when she saw him having the time of his life in Europe, having completely forgotten about her back at home. Beckett tried to explain how she felt and why she had come to the realization that she had. "Seeing those pictures of you on your tour… at parties every night with a woman on each arm. It made me realize that this," she gestured between them, "whatever this is… isn't real. I was foolish to think you've changed. The parties, the girls… that's your world. And this," she waved her hands in the air, referring to the precinct, "is mine."

This couldn't be happening. This was all his fault for not communicating with her during his trip. She was just mad at him right now and trying to pull away like she always did when her relationships were starting to get serious. She didn't really mean what she was saying. She couldn't. "Kate, I know you're mad at me for not staying in touch but…" Castle started.

Beckett cut him off. She had to finish this before he said anything. She didn't even know if she could hold it together that long.

"No, that's not it Castle." A pained but resolute expression came over her face. The words were caught in her throat, but she mustered up her last ounce of resolve to end things once and for all. "Look, I don't belong in your world and you don't belong in mine. We shouldn't be together," she put it simply.

The meaning of her words finally sunk in, weighing him down more heavily than gravity. They stood in silence for a moment, both at a loss for what to say.

Beckett broke the silence first. "It was fun while it lasted, but I think we should end this before either of us gets hurt," she said quietly, feigning nonchalance in an attempt to mask her true emotions. She hoped he didn't catch the falter in her voice as she spoke. She hoped he couldn't see the tears forming involuntarily in her eyes, threatening to fall at any moment and betray her stone-walled façade.

It was a lie, and she knew it. Pretending like what they had meant nothing to her was hurting her, badly. Acting like she didn't have deeper feelings for him was crushing both of them, but she had to do it to protect herself from even more misery. It was killing her inside to hurt him like this, but she didn't want him to see her pain and she didn't want to see his. He wasn't the one who would make things better anymore. He wasn't the shoulder she could cry on when she was sad. And she could no longer do the same for him. He was the one causing all her pain and there was nothing he could do about it.

They were nothing more than partners, if even that, now. Her flight instincts were starting to kick in and suddenly Beckett wanted to get as far away from Castle as possible. It was easier when he was halfway around the world in Europe. Then she wouldn't have to see the look of hurt on his face that she knew she was causing.

"Kate…" he pleaded.

"Don't. It's over Rick," she breathed, her voice barely registering above a whisper. Even as she said those words, she could feel her heart breaking inside her own chest.

Beckett quickly brushed past him to exit, leaving him dumbfounded. As she opened the door, she heard him call after her but she didn't turn around. She couldn't bear to face him anymore.

"But Kate… I love you," he tried.

But it was too late. The door had closed shut. His words fell on the deaf walls of an empty room.

_When a heart breaks no it don't break even  
__One's still in love while the other one's leaving_

**A/N: Aaand I just crushed the hearts of a hundred Caskett shippers. Feel free to sound off in your misery in the comments. Many thanks for all the reviews from the last chapter!**


	27. Broken

**A/N: ****Seems I have stirred up quite the storm.**** Edit: WHAT HAVE I DONE? I'M SO CONFUSED. I JUST WANTED TO WRITE A SIMPLE STORY FOR ENTERTAINMENT, GUYS. I think the war going on in the comments is providing me with more entertainment than this story is providing the readers. I'm almost scared to post this and read the feedback that it's going to generate, but here we go…**

**Chapter 27**

Castle couldn't breathe. He felt numb. It was as if all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room, leaving him gasping for air and grasping at straws. The world was crashing down around him but he had no words to even begin to comprehend what the hell had just happened. How much had changed since he had been gone? What did Kate mean by them not 'belonging' in each other's worlds? A myriad of questions stormed violently in his head as he struggled to come up with the answers. He had to mentally remind himself to breathe and figure out what he should do next.

Still in a bit of a state of shock, Castle slowly returned to the bull pen and plopped back down in his seat, next to a now-empty desk. He was so dazed that he didn't even hear Ryan and Esposito trying to get his attention.

"Yo, earth to Castle," Esposito snapped his fingers next to his face.

"Huh?" Castle was jarred from his reverie and noticed the pair greeting him, blinking back confusedly in return.

"Hey Castle, welcome back," Ryan patted him on the back.

"Yeah dude, long time no see. Or hear…" Esposito gave him a stern look, crossing his arms in disapproval. "Must've been one hell of a trip to Europe to be gone for so long."

"It was uhh… really busy," Castle stammered.

Esposito picked up on the dazed look in his eyes and hollow voice. He seemed more absentminded than usual.

"Everything all right?" Esposito inquired cautiously, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Umm…" Castle paused. "Actually I just talked to Beckett and she wasn't very happy to see me," he admitted.

"Well yeah, I can see why" Ryan asserted.

"What did I do?" Castle asked.

"You really don't know? You up and left all of a sudden to go all the way to Europe with your publisher, who is also your ex-wife, and didn't call her for two months," Ryan said matter-of-factly.

"Dude. Why didn't you call?" Esposito chimed in.

"I was being dragged from city to city every week and Gina took away my phone and wouldn't let me use it," Castle whined.

"Seriously? That's your excuse?" Ryan asked incredulously. "Come on dude, you're a multi-millionaire. You're telling me you couldn't call your girlfriend back home because your _ex-wife_ wouldn't let you?" he chastised.

"Well when you put it that way it sounds stupid," Castle muttered defensively.

"That's because it is stupid," Esposito corrected. "There's no way you didn't have the means to call her if you really wanted to."

"You didn't cheat on her while you were over there did you? Is that why you didn't call her?" Ryan questioned.

"What? No, of course not," Castle declared.

"I saw some of those pictures dude," Esposito started. "Gorgeous women in skin tight dresses. Those sexy foreign accents. A little too much booze one night and one thing leads to another. Mistakes can happen…"

"I did _not_ cheat on her," Castle assured. "I'll admit I did get a little wrapped up in the whole fame thing while I was over there. It was a nice change of pace for a while, but I didn't think Beckett would be so upset while I was gone."

"That's right, you didn't think. Consider it from her point of view. Boyfriend leaves for two months, partying with beautiful women overseas… how do you think she felt?" Ryan explained.

Castle considered his point for a moment and groaned.

"Man, how could you do that to Beckett? You said you wouldn't hurt her then you disappear with no contact for two months. That's cold man," Esposito chided him. "I don't know if I can approve you for boyfriend status for her anymore," he added.

He considered whether or not he should tell them about their breakup. The detectives would find out sooner or later, so he decided to break the news to them. "Well you won't have to." Castle's face fell. "She just ended it with me," he sighed dejectedly.

"Oh…" Ryan grimaced. "Yikes. What are you going to do now?"

Castle weighed his options. "I really just need to talk to her. Do you have the address to her new apartment?"

Ryan and Esposito gave each other a knowing look. "Yeah." Ryan took a pen and a piece of paper from the desk and scribbled down an address. "Here" he said, handing the scrap to Castle. "Good luck man," Ryan added skeptically.

"Thanks." Castle slipped the paper into his pocket and left the precinct to go home.

Ryan and Esposito stood there for a moment, considering the situation.

"I'm on Beckett's side for this," Esposito declared. "The guy left her in the dark for two months… she has the right to be mad at him," Esposito made his argument.

"I know… but I still kind of feel bad for Castle. He comes home from his long trip only to be dumped by his girlfriend. That's really harsh," Ryan grimaced sympathetically. "Do you think they're going to be okay?"

"I don't know man…" Esposito shook his head. "All I know is if they don't get back together, the next few months are going to be hell for us…"

"Yeah, we're going to be walking on egg shells around them. I hate it when they fight…"

"Same here. And by the looks of it, this one's going to be a brutal one."

Scenarios of heated feuds and angry spats flashed through their minds, and none of them led to a happy ending. They could only hope for the best, but the future wasn't looking too bright for the writer and his muse.

* * *

When Castle returned home, there was still classical music humming in the background and candles burning a soft glow. The candles had burned about halfway through their height, sadly lighting the empty table for no one. The soup was going cold and the crepes were no longer fresh. He sighed, as all these were a stark reminder of the magical night that he was supposed to have with the woman he loved and the harshness of the reality of their situation. He turned off the music, blew out the candles, and packed up the food into the fridge, having lost his appetite for the night.

Castle heard the soft padding of socks against hardwood floor as Alexis came down the stairs to greet him. He hadn't seen her in the afternoon because she had to tutor after school and he had been out grocery shopping. It was the first time he had seen her since he had gotten back.

"Dad!" Alexis exclaimed enthusiastically, wrapping him in a big hug. "I'm so glad you're home. I really missed you."

Rick embraced her warmly, having missed his daughter during the trip. "Oh, I missed you too sweetie." He kissed the top of her head before they parted.

"How was your trip?" she asked excitedly. "I bet France was amazing. Did you get to visit the Louvre? And the Eiffel tower?"

"It was great, but no I didn't get a chance to visit the Louvre," he sighed. Rick tried to paint a genuine smile on his face, but it fell short of his usual wholehearted grin.

Alexis could sense that something was off about her dad. He should be chatting her ear off about all the wonderful things he had seen and done for the past two months in Europe, but all he had to say was "it was great"? Something was definitely wrong.

"Dad, is everything okay?" she asked, genuinely concerned.

Rick sighed. The sham was up. She had always been quite perceptive towards others' emotions and well-being, especially in her dad. She could often tell when he was faking his emotions. She had gotten pretty good at telling when he was lying too.

"Actually, no…" he admitted dejectedly.

"What's wrong?" Alexis frowned. It had to be something quite serious to dampen his spirits that much. Had something gone wrong during his trip? Was it something at work?

"It's Kate… She just ended things with me. Just like that…" he mumbled in a defeated voice. Of course it was Kate Beckett. Who else could have this kind of effect on him? Alexis didn't know if he had gone to see or talk to her yet, but it seems he had. And it sounds like it didn't go well at all.

Alexis knew that Kate had been distant and out of touch with her dad for a while, but she hadn't known that Kate was planning on breaking up with him. Their "arrangement" had come to an end when Kate moved out of the Castles' loft, but she made sure to check in with Alexis daily and still frequented their apartment to take care of her. But Alexis should have known that her moving out meant the end of her relationship with her dad. It was so sudden too. She didn't even call to let her dad know and now right when he comes home, she suddenly ends it with him? Alexis had seen the candles on the table and the dinner that Rick cooked for Kate. He was obviously really excited to see her again and having her break up with him out of the blue must have destroyed him. Seeing the broken look on her dad's face, Alexis started to get angry at the detective.

"What did she say when you went to see her?" Alexis questioned.

"She said something about seeing pictures of me and Gina on my tour… and she was really mad about me not calling home. Did she say anything to you while she was here?"

"She asked about you a few times and was wondering why you didn't call…"

Castle groaned. "Gina wouldn't let me use my phone… but it was still my fault for not keeping you guys updated."

"So how did she end things?" Alexis asked out of curiosity.

"She said that there shouldn't be an 'us' anymore and that we were over."

"That's it? No explanation?" How could Kate be so heartless as to end things with him without giving him a proper explanation?

"Not really…" Rick sighed. "I'm going to talk to her after she's had time to cool off. I need some time to think some things through too."

Alexis moved to hug her dad again, this time with a more sympathetic touch. Rick welcomed the familiar embrace, relishing the comfort it afforded.

"Are you going to be okay?" Alexis asked with concern, observing him carefully.

"Don't worry about me, sweetheart. I'll be fine," he reassured her genuinely. "Thanks for listening. I really missed you," he hugged her one more time.

"Mmkay. Good night dad." Alexis retreated up the stairs into her room. She was definitely going to have a talk to the detective about her relationship with her dad. Kate owed it to her father to give him a chance to talk and explain himself. It was the least she could do.

Rick returned to the kitchen to continue cleaning up. After Rick finished putting away the food, he went upstairs to change into his pajamas and wash up. He climbed into his bed alone for the second night in a row, emotionally drained from the events of the day.

He couldn't sleep however, because all that was on his mind was her. He couldn't stop thinking about ways he could fix this, fix _them_… somehow make it all up to her. This wasn't over, not by a long shot.

Rick laid in bed, ruminating pensively on what Kate had said to him. "I don't belong in your world, and you don't belong in mine." How could she believe that? Did she really still think of him as some playboy bachelor? Sure, he still liked being at the center of attention of his parties and adored by his fans, but he never did anything deliberately to betray her trust. He thought that by being with her day in and day out, working with her as her partner in the NYPD precinct, it would change her opinion of him and make her see that he was more than the party-loving front he put up for publicity.

Disappointment infused with anger overcame him as he thought about Beckett's misguided judgment of him. After all they had been through together, she was still convinced that they couldn't work together or be a couple. After everything he had shared with her—his home, his heart—she still couldn't see past his superficial exterior for the man he really was. How could she still think of him like that? And how could he have been so wrong in his evaluation of their relationship?

He thought about her persistent reluctance to define their relationship and began to doubt things. Had she been using him the whole time? Did she really not have any feeling for him? Did he even truly love her? The last question he could answer for himself. Yes, he loved her. He had often gotten confused between sex and love in the past but with her, it was never just about the sex. It was about the moments afterwards, when they were more intimate with each other than ever before. It was about bringing coffee to her every morning in the precinct, just to see a smile on her face. It was about sharing things with her, from laughter to tears, and being vulnerable, knowing that she was his partner in everything and he was hers too. Always. Those were the things that made him want her in the forever kind of way.

Rick considered what he would say to her. He would have to apologize for his behavior and try to explain his case, which was already sounding pretty weak. She too owed him an explanation as to why she suddenly ended things when right he got home. And he had to know whether she even wanted, or ever wanted, a tangible future with him.

This was all he could come up with for now. The rest would have to wait until he confronted her directly in person. He drifted off on clouds of uncertainty but sleep, however troubled, came to him nonetheless.

_I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing  
__With a broken heart that's still beating_

**A/N: This isn't angst for the sake of angst. I really do have to address the fact that they are completely different people and it would be unlikely for them to work together as a couple (even the real Beckett had qualms about their relationship on the show…). I don't mind the negative reviews, but just CHILL OUT and keep it civil. People were freaking out that Kate didn't let him talk, but it was to give the whole "I love you" thing at the end a dramatic effect and I wanted to save the TWO SIDED conversation for the next chapter. I think the sympathy I was trying to garner for Castle has mistakenly been channeled into hate for Beckett. There's been a lot of miscommunication between them (literally) and they need to work through those issues to get on the same page. Just have a little faith (and patience) for Castle and Beckett (and me) to make things right. Still, thanks for all the reviews (even the bad ones). I take them into consideration when writing about Castle/Beckett's actions and hopefully I can make it better.**

**Oh and I wanted to address one review in particular: To the guest who thought I commented on my own story under a guest account about some of the other reviews… it wasn't me. I leave my notes here. –facepalm- I promise I'm not writing any of them! I find it quite interesting however that some of the readers read the other reviews too, lol.**


	28. Speaking a Dead Language

**Chapter 28**

Dusk was settling over the living streets of New York, covering the great city with brilliant warm hues of red, orange, and yellow. He had waited until Sunday night to go talk to her, giving them both some time to recover from the utter disaster that was their confrontation on Friday afternoon. Rick didn't want to bother her yesterday because she might have had plans on Saturday night. He knew that Kate usually liked to be home early on Sunday to get a good night's rest in preparation for the upcoming work week.

Rick called her on her cell, wanting to let her know he intended on stopping by. Voicemail. He tried again, but she still didn't pick up. He sighed. He was fairly certain that she was at home, but was just avoiding talking to him. He decided to drop by anyway because their conversation was one they needed to have sooner than later.

He took a cab to her apartment in Midtown. Strolling along the corridors of the building, he scanned the numbers and approached her door apprehensively. 518B. He took a moment to muster his confidence and then knocked firmly on the door. After a few moments Kate answered it, not altogether surprised that Rick was the mystery visitor. She had screened his two calls prior because she really didn't want to face him.

"Hey. Can I come in?" he asked politely.

Kate eyed him carefully and thought for a moment. She knew how stubborn and persistent he was. There was no way he was taking 'no' for an answer. "Yeah, sure." She turned around and retreated into the living room as he entered her new apartment for the first time, closing the door behind him.

He surveyed the room and took in the sights and sounds of the unfamiliar environment. The gentle hum of air-conditioning coming from the vents, hinting at the oppressive heat of summer that was soon to come. The mixed scents of a new place and her own stuff, an aroma that he was all too familiar with. A unique view of the glistening skyscrapers that collectively constituted the Manhattan skyline. The view caught his attention for a moment as he let his eyes trace the contours of the innumerable buildings. He could tell that she hadn't moved in too long ago; there was still the unmistakable foreign atmosphere to the place. She had started to make the apartment her own by decorating it with some of her personal stuff. There were trinkets and memorabilia adorning bookshelves along with framed photos lining the side tables. Not a single one was of them.

Rick tore his eyes from the room and fixed them back on Kate. She was sitting cross-legged on a chair in the center of the room. Her hair was tied in a messy bun and she was wearing an off-the-shoulder t-shirt with some red and blue plaid pajama pants. She wasn't in the most presentable state, but he still thought she looked like perfection. "Nice place," he commented. "The view is absolutely stunning."

"Thanks." She wasn't feeling very verbose today and she definitely didn't want to make idle small talk.

He moved to sit on a couch opposite her and perpendicular to the wide windows. She was looking downward, playing with them hem of her cuffed pajama pants. The light of day was fading, slowly casting her into a shrouded silhouette. Shadows were creeping out from their invisible hiding places. A thousand unspoken words filled the space between them as they sat together in uneasy silence.

Rick waited a few moments to speak.

"We need to talk."

She looked up at him. "About what?" she asked, as if the answer weren't obvious. Kate could see the tiredness in his eyes, like he hadn't slept well in days. There was a haggardness in face that gave away the emotional turmoil she had put him through for the past 48 hours.

"Us," he said slowly.

Kate dropper her gaze momentarily, and bit her lip. "There isn't an 'us' anymore Castle," she corrected, meeting his eyes once more. "Don't make me regret what we had. Let it just be a pleasant memory."

"I just… I don't understand what happened between us. I thought everything was fine when I left and then I come back and suddenly you end things, just like that. You didn't even give me a chance to explain myself."

She considered his opening statement. "Well you have your chance now…" she offered.

He took a deep breath in and exhaled. "I know I was a complete jerk for putting you off during my entire trip. I realize it was completely insensitive and selfish and quite inconsiderate towards your feelings. I should have called, and it was entirely my fault. I am really sorry and I promise I'll make it up to you."

Kate waited to see if he was finished.

"Is that all?" she asked.

"Well, that's what you're mad about right? That I didn't call?"

She thought for a moment. "Well yeah I was mad about that," Kate affirmed quietly. "But I forgive you,"

"Then what's wrong? I don't see how that's grounds for ending things…."

She shifted her gaze again and pursed her lips.

Rick awaited an answer, growing frustrated at her reticence.

"Kate you have to talk to me. You've never cut me out like this before."

She pondered briefly, searching for the right words to say, and continued. "That's not it though, Castle. You don't get it."

Rick stared at her intently. "Then what is it?"

"It's… who we are."

"What do you mean?"

She reflected on what she had said on Friday and tried to elucidate the meaning behind her previously expressed sentiments. "What I said about not belonging in each other's worlds. I've had a lot of time to think about us while you were away. I guess working together with you so closely for this long made me forget about who we actually are. You're this hot-shot writer who loves to have crazy adventures and wild parties and a new woman every week. And I'm just a cop fighting to bring killers to justice every day. There's no way our lifestyles can align, no matter how hard we try to make it happen or how much we wish that it could work. We're fooling ourselves by pretending that this is real. I don't want to hold you back from your career and lifestyle."

His brow furrowed. "But that's not me anymore," Rick argued. "I'm here because I want to be. I've had the craziest adventures of a lifetime with you. I choose to be here, working with you in the precinct together as partners," he declared firmly.

"For however long it suits your fancy," she snapped, unthinking.

He was taken aback. "What's that supposed to mean?" he narrowed his eyes at her.

"It means I know you won't be satisfied with me. You're going to grow tired of me eventually and move on to the next beautiful woman that catches your eye," Kate seethed bitterly. "I can't sit around and in constant fear of that happening… just waiting for the other shoe to drop."

Her accusatory words struck a sensitive chord with him.

"I… I can't believe you still think of me like that Kate," he said, appalled by her blatant character judgment.

"Yeah, well those pictures of you and your fangirls in Europe don't inspire much confidence."

Her biting remarks were scathing and slanderous, leaving invisible lacerations on his heart. Rick looked crestfallen. "After all we've been through… you have such little faith in me," he shook his head in disbelief. "I've changed you know."

Kate regretted the words that had come out of her mouth, but she was just lashing out because of the hurt he had caused her by being gone for so long. "I just… I can't trust you with my heart." she sighed.

Rick stopped to think for a while about his next statement. It would have a major impact on the fate of their relationship. "Well I don't think I can be with someone who thinks so little of me either…" So there it was. They had both agreed to end it. He had come here to fix things with her, but somehow the purpose got lost in his words and now they were at an impasse.

"Look, I don't want to fight. It's who we are and I don't want you to change for me. You shouldn't have to."

A long pause lingered between them, the meaning of their words slowly sinking in.

Rick broke the silence first.

"So that's it, huh?" he breathed.

"Yeah I guess it is," she said with an empty look in her eyes.

"So now what? We just go back to being partners?"

"If you want to…" Her voice was as hollow as her eyes. "You can do whatever you want. You always have…" she rolled her eyes at him. Kate was sitting no more than three feet away from him, yet he felt further away from her than when he was in Europe. To know that they had once been so close, so intimate with each other both physically and emotionally, and now were strangers in the night was heart-wrenching to him.

It was nighttime now. With the fading of the light, the heat and urgency of the day cooled away. Darkness had fallen over the city, along with their once brightly burning relationship. They had nothing more to say to each other.

She got up to turn on a lamp, and he rose as well and headed for the door.

"I guess I'll see you around," Rick concluded with strain in his voice and defeat etched across his face.

"Yeah see you," she replied quietly.

With that, Rick left her apartment and went back home.

Could they ever really go back to what they were before? This question lingered in the back of their minds, both doubtful that things could ever go back to normal between them.

A mixture of grief and anger ate away at his heart like concentrated acid, leaving Rick sick to his stomach. He was both furious and wounded by the fact that Kate held such a low opinion of him, but a small part of him believed that she was only saying those things because she was hurting too. He clung to the tiny sliver of hope that their past interactions and words were a testament to the deeper emotional bond that connected them. All the mornings and nights they spent together and all the time in between… the way she used to kiss him so tenderly, look at him with love in her eyes, respond to his touch… there was no way she didn't have deeper feelings for him.

Maybe she did still believe that he was a playboy bachelor. Maybe she was too afraid trust him with her heart. He was partially at fault for reliving the former Rick Castle days, but the parties and the fame were completely meaningless if he didn't have her in his life. All he wanted, all he _needed_, was her.

Rick struggled to keep his mind clear with level-headed thoughts. He couldn't lose her, not like this. She was too important to him, too dear to his heart. He still loved her of course, and if being just friends for now was what they both needed, then that was what he would try to do. He wasn't going to pine for her and try to win her back immediately, but he wasn't going to give up on being partners with her either—that would just validate her concerns about his superficiality and lack of commitment. He needed to assuage her doubts and prove to her that they could in fact work together. He needed to prove that he had changed because of her, not out of obligation, but out of love. He had to build up a sense of trust with her again, brick by brick, before the healing could begin. Maybe then, just _maybe_, they could have chance at being together again.

_Somewhere in all the talking the meaning faded out  
__Oh I wonder when did it all stop making sense_

**A/N: The song for this chapter is pretty great. It's "Speaking a Dead Language" by Joy Williams of The Civil Wars. As for the Castle/Beckett blame game, yes I realize they're both at fault. It just seems like Castle is taking all the blame right now because it's from his POV. Beckett will be dealt with later.**


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